Dear TRC & GG
I unexpectedly spent the night at a guy’s house this weekend. I woke up later than expected and literally had to run out the door to meet my family in time for my sisters birthday brunch. I had no choice other than to show up in the clothes I had left the house in the night before and my family immediately noticed and made me feel awful.
How would you suggest I avoid this in the future?
Well for starters I’d suggest that you stop going home with rando’s from the bar – haven’t you ever heard of that saying “no one is going to buy the whole cow if they’re getting the milk for free”? Or some shit like that. I don’t know, I’m not a huge milk person seeing as how it’s used to fatten calf’s, but whatever you get the point.
I do sympathize, however, with the occasional surprise sleep over. I couldn’t tell you how many times I woke up on my best friend’s couch (usually with a McChicken), and nothing makes you feel like more of a trash bag then pairing heels with sweatpants, amiright?
So how do I get around this now? I always have an extra change of clothes in my trunk/purse. Dresses take up little to no room, so I’ll fold one up and toss it in my purse with a pair of fold-a-flats. BOOM. Instantly ready and de-whored for family brunch.
Dear Hoey Hoenstein,
This is pretty simple actually. Next time your family has a get together before 3 p.m. on a weekend, show up handcuffed to a broken bed post with one broken heel, a prescription bottle on a chain around your neck and a Something About Mary jizzed up hairdo. Sit down, order a scotch, neat, and then calmly ask them what the FUCK they are all looking at.
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony
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