Sagamore Bridge Painting Project Extended Another Two Months

CapeCod.com – The end of lane restrictions on the Sagamore Bridge has once again been pushed back another two months.
The project, originally scheduled to wrap up in December and then bumped back to February, will now wrap up in April, according to the Army Corps of Engineers.

“Because of the very frequent snowstorms we’ve had we just can’t get out there,” said Corps Spokesman Tim Dugan, “so we have not been able to move ahead on this project.

Wait a second. How can snow be to blame for this not being finished by December when it didn’t snow at all until January? Also how is it that two weeks of snowstorms equal a four month delay?

Do you realize that going until April will officially make it two years that they’ve been painting that bridge? It’s official folks, it will take them longer to re paint The Sagamore Bridge in the 21st century than it took them to BUILD it in the 1930’s. That is next level, tapioca pudding, batshit crazy sauce.

They built the thing with oxen and steam shovels and shit in less time than we can put a coat of paint on it. In a time when we carry supercomputers in our pockets and have people in space. That is flat out embarrassing.

P.S. Yeah it’s definitely the snow that’s making it take so long, not the fact that you only have 3 Brazilian dudes up there with brushes and buckets.