Hyannis Man Allegedly Stole Church Donations – Cape Cod Criminal Hall of Fame?

Photo of a Collection Plate

CapeCodTimes.com – A 26-year-old Hyannis man pleaded not guilty in Barnstable District Court Monday to seven charges after being arrested over the weekend for allegedly stealing from a church.

Guy Face pleaded not guilty to breaking and entering at nighttime for a felony, possession of a burglarious instrument (flashlight), two counts of assault and battery on a police officer, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct, and breaking into a depository.

Barnstable police posted an officer at Our Lady of Victory in Centerville on Saturday after discarded donation envelopes were found there on multiple Sunday mornings. At about 8:30 p.m. a man later identified as Mr. Face entered the church, turned on a light and headed toward the sacristy, according to police.

Officer Anson Moore approached Guy Face in the sacristy and the suspect ran, according to the report. The two men struggled and Moore lost his gun, police said. During the fight, they fell down a set of stairs into the parking lot, where people were congregated after a meeting in the church. An off-duty officer in the area grabbed Mr. Face, and he was arrested.

Guy Face told police he had been taking money for a “few weeks,” according to the report. Carpenter estimated he had taken “a few hundred” dollars each time, police wrote.

Kinda on the fence with whether or not we should put this guy in the all time Cape Criminal Hall of Fame. Part of me says this dude is extra awful for stealing from a church since some of that money was probably going to the needy. But then again, some of it was going towards shuffling around pedophiles so they can live out their disgusting little lives in some seminary somewhere allowing them to reminisce about the good old days when diddling altar boys was like shooting fish in a barrel. A confusing conundrum to be sure.

Alas, the most confusing part of this escapade isn’t whether or not to crucify this guy, it’s a much more puzzling realization. There is a criminal charge called “possession of a burglarious instrument”? I don’t even think burglarious is a word, and I say that because as I write this there is a red squiggly liner under it. That’s scientifical proof as far as I’m concerned. The red squiggly line is infallible. Almost godlike if you will.

What I’m really concerned about is that I have a bunch of fencing at my house that I need to rip apart with a crowbar and cut up with a sawzall. Am I going to be surrounded by a SWAT team in my backyard this weekend? Because those “instruments” are about as “burglarious” as you can get. This dude caught a “burglarious” instrument possession charge for a flashlight? My sawzall and crowbar could land me in Walpole for 10-15 all I know. I can’t go to jail, I’ve written tasteless jokes about half of the inmates.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Former Falmouth Playhouse Owner Finally Convicted Of Fraud

falmouth playhouse

CapeCodTimes.com – Ralph Miller, the former owner of the Falmouth Playhouse, seemed to be a most unlucky man.

Over a quarter century, three of the theaters he owned — including the Falmouth venue — burned to the ground, as did a shed he owned in Bucks County, Pennsylvania.

Now, a federal jury in U.S. District Court in Pennsylvania has found Miller guilty of one count of money laundering and one count of mail fraud in connection with insurance claims he made after a flood damaged another playhouse he owned.

Over the years, Miller had been the subject of a two-part investigative series by the Cape Cod Times and has been involved in scores of lawsuits involving parties as diverse as insurance companies, the Actors Equity union, the U.S. government and even football great Terry Bradshaw.

THREE of this dudes places burned to the ground and all they could get him on is laundering and mail fraud? It seems like they should be able to get him on arson just because of the percentages. You know what they say, fool me once when you burn down a playhouse, shame on you. Fool me twice when you burn down more playhouses, shame on me. Fool me three times burning down playhouses and shame on Terry Bradshaw… or something like that.

P.S. Seriously, you know you’ve screwed up your life when you get sued by this dude…

alf

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New Hampshire Banned Hunting With Drones For The Dumbest Reason Ever

drone

SCT – New Hampshire has adopted some landmark hunting regulations, outlawing new technology that amounts to unfair chase, and I hope other states follow their lead. The New Hampshire Fish and Game Department announced Thursday that the use of drones, smart rifles and live-action game cameras while hunting or attempting to take wildlife is now banned.

“We needed to establish rules regarding these fast-changing technologies to make sure that people understand that their use for hunting is not appropriate or ethical,”” said Fish and Game Law Enforcement Major Kevin Jordan. “Use of this equipment violates the principle of fair chase because it gives hunters an unfair advantage over wildlife.””

Is banning hunting with drones a good idea? Probably. The last thing I need is a drone mistaking me for a deer and pumping me full of lead while I’m smelling the daisies in the woods near my house. Hunting should probably be left to actual humans, but the reason this Fish and Game guy gives is beyond ridiculous.

To say that we need to ban drone hunting because using advanced technology to kill animals is not “appropriate or ethical” is the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard. If that’s the case then what the hell is a Remington R-15? Do automatic rifles grow from seed in the wild? Was it ethical for Native Americans to hunt with bows and arrows? Newsflash, every single animal we kill, we kill with technology. When’s the last time you saw one of the Duck Dynasty guys tackle a duck and strangle it to death?

I don’t care if you shove a stick of dynamite up a chickens ass and blow it to smithereens as long as you eat the pieces. How you kill something has nothing to do with ethics, it’s why you kill it that decides the morality of your actions. I’m not saying we shouldn’t ban hunting with drones, we should, but just say it scares you, don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining with this “ethics” crap.

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One Drop Live Is Putting On The Biggest Reggae Show Of The Summer On Cape Cod!

morgan heritage

INFO AND TICKETS

Do you love reggae, good parties and/or summer on the Cape? If you answered yes, you would be crazy to miss what is shaping up to be the biggest reggae show of the summer.

On Friday June 26th at Pufferbellies in Hyannis, MA , the “Royal Family of Reggae” Morgan Heritage will be joined by Jemere Morgan, High Hopes Band, DJ Bud E. Green and DJ Realm for a huge night of roots reggae music.

Morgan Heritage, easily one of the best live acts in the genre, is touring the US to support their brand new, Billboard charting album,”Strictly Roots”, and this show is the ONLY New England stop.

Our good friends over at One Drop Live and Wicked Vybz joined forces with Nectar’s Presents to bring this big bad show to the Cape. Shows this big aren’t easy to get on this peninsula, so mark your calendars, dust off your Marley tee and get pumped for what promises to be a great night.

Now click that ticket link and show some support for the live music scene on Cape Cod!

See ya there!

Tickets & info onedroplive.com

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