P-Town Voting To Ban Plastic Supermarket Bags Got Us Thinking About BIG Repercussions

BostonGlobe.com – PLASTIC BAGS litter the median strips of America. In some trash-filled corners of Massachusetts, they cover the ground like a layer of topsoil. Flushed out into the ocean, they combine with other garbage into massive rafts of refuse, killing marine life. That’s why towns from the outer Cape to the Berkshires are seeking ways to reduce this serious environmental threat. But they’d do well to follow the example of other municipalities that have been successful in coaxing consumers to switch to reusable supermarket bags.

Tomorrow, Provincetown residents will vote at a town meeting on whether or not to ban small plastic bags in their town. Under the proposal, restaurants and retailers would be banned from distributing single-use plastic shopping bags, such as those often found in supermarkets.

I have a quick question. Did anyone think about what the hell we are all going to use in our bathroom wastebaskets if they ban the supermarket style plastic bag? Do they even sell plastic bags that size? The plastic bag/bathroom wastebasket relationship is so wonderful and symbiotic, do we really want to mess with it?

I have a feeling GLAD might be behind this legislature. I wouldn’t put it past them to hire lobbyists to get this law passed in towns across America just in time for them to launch their new Double Force Flex Super Drawstring Bathroom Wastebasket Bags. Oh look we happened to have these ready for the shelves right when supermarket bags became illegal!

This could be the biggest scam on the people of this country since that time they convinced us all that we need to start going to the store to buy water in single serving bottles instead of having it delivered right to our faces from out of our walls.

P.S. FUCK! I just realized that we can kiss the post shopping, 17 bag per arm, one trip from car to kitchen counter with all the groceries technique goodbye too! I don’t know about you but I think I’d trade a couple of choking sea turtles for not having to buy tiny bags for my bathroom AND making 12 trips to get the groceries in.

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Comments 5

I got rid of the trash in my bathroom a long time ago – my place is tiny, and I just didn’t need it. But that’s just me.

I call your publication “our local Onion,” but I would say this logic here isn’t really amusing. My mom has worked to ban bags in our town, and has yet to be successful. I assure you GLAD did not provide her with any money. Her motivation is a care so deep for the environment that we all share, and she wants to do what she can to make it better for all of us – even the sea turtles.

So, what you’re saying is that GLAD is pushing towns to eliminate shopping bags to sell more of their own?

There is a lot of opposition to change, and that always flabbergasts me. Think about all the time that passed before we ever had plastic bags – how did we ever survive? And how on earth did we change so rapidly? I’m astounded when people argue, “We’ll never change.”

You sound like you could never live any other way than the way you’re living now. I’m reminded of like those infomercials that let you know how hard your life was before some magic device came along to save us from whatever hardship we endured before their product came along. “Our lives will be so hard without plastic supermarket shopping bags!” I use reusable bags at the grocery store, and don’t have any trouble carrying several heavy bags at once – in fact my reusable bags have yet to break on me.

Good luck with your hardship!