Orleans PD “Facebook Cop Friday” Let’s You Play Virtual Police Officer For A Day

Orleans Police Facebook – Finally, “Facebook Cop Friday” Folks, have Fun. Say that five times fast.

You are called to a residence for a report that a resident would like advice regarding an ex-boyfriend. Upon arrival you meet with Paula Jones. Jones informs you that she and her ex-boyfriend, Sam Strahan, had broken up several weeks ago.

Jones explains that she hasn’t seen Strahan since the breakup, but that he has been trying to get in touch with her to get back together. Jones states that over the past several weeks, Strahan has called, texted, and emailed her and left messages. Jones also informs you that the communications have all occurred during the day while she is working, and it has become annoying.

You ask Jones about the context of the communications, and she tells you that Strahan keeps asking if they can get together to talk, and that he loves her and can’t imagine being with anyone else. You ask Jones if she has spoken directly with Strahan, and she tells you she has only responded to his text messages, telling Strahan she was not interesting in getting back together.

You ask Jones when the last time she received any communication from Strahan, and she stated today. Jones explains that Strahan had called and texted 11 times in a span of four hours, and all were centered on his desire to get back together.

What can you do?

I have no idea what you can do as a cop in this situation, but I’ll tell you what you should do. You should get Paula’s number and take her out for sushi ASAP because I guarantee you that she is an absolute freak in the sack. Sam is calling 11 times in 4 hours for a reason, and it’s not because she’s a great listener. It’s because Paula has a magic vagina.

Plus, you’re really killing two birds with one stone if you think about it. Sam will stop bothering her if she’s dating a cop, and you get to find out what kind of moves she was doing behind closed doors to turn him into such a clingy little bitch to begin with. It’s a win, win situation for everybody really… except for Sam, Sam loses this one.

P.S. And that ladies and gentlemen, is why I am not a police officer.