Martha’s Vineyard TTOR Is Murdering Crows To Protect Piping Plovers

MVTimes – This season, TTOR has initiated a program under the close watch of federal authorities to control an animal known for its intelligence and ability to gobble up eggs and newly hatched chicks — the crow.

Each summer season, The Trustees of Reservations (TTOR), a nonprofit conservation organization that manages miles of pristine beachfront on Chappaquiddick open to the public and accessible by over-sand vehicles (OSV), gears up for the arrival of state and federally protected shorebirds that seek out the gravel and sand of Martha’s Vineyard’s shoreline to nest and lay eggs.

For the past several years, TTOR utilized box traps for both skunks and crows. This year, TTOR implemented a more controversial antipredation tactic, lethal crow control. Although they don’t like using this method, TTOR ecology assistant Caitlin Borck said it is necessary.

In conjunction with the U.S. Department of Agriculture, TTOR put up mock exclosures to attract the intelligent birds.

“The thing is that crows are very smart, and they will teach other crows their behaviors,” Ms. Borck said. “If we were not to remove these smart predators from our property, they would continue to teach other crows more and more that exclosures are a food source.”

TTOR wants to remove the intelligent crows from the property so that no new crows will learn the behavior. In order to do this, chicken eggs are put in the mock exclosures for two weeks and cameras monitor for crows that are targeting the exclosures. Once identified, with USDA approval, TTOR places toxic eggs in the exclosure.

This, my friends, is a little thing we like to call a “god complex”. Somehow these people have decided that it is up to them to decide which species should live and which should die, and they are doing it in stark contrast to the wishes of a little lady named Mother Nature. Would we start killing lions so they don’t hurt the poor wildebeests?

I care about this not because I am some crow loving hippie. I care because it scares the ever loving crap out of me. Crows are one of those animals that definitely know something we don’t know. They’ve tapped into some sort of dark energy and they are privy to some kind of evil spirit that is watching us from afar. I don’t know about you but when crows are around I stay extra alert just waiting for them to attack me and peck out my eyeballs or something. They just have some weird look in their eye, and I don’t trust them.

They talk about how smart the crows are in this article, saying they teach each other how to eat nesting Plovers, but they don’t seem worried at all about what happens when they start teaching each other how humans are murdering them with poison chicken eggs. Well, I am. Cut the shit Vineyard before the crows start holding militia meetings and planning some serious Alfred Hitchcock shit.

I don’t even think Plovers lives are worth closing off a beach, they definitely aren’t worth antagonizing the devil crows into mounting some apocalyptic, black magic, aerial attack on humans. There are some evil beings in nature that you just don’t fuck with, and crows are firmly planted on the short list. So let’s just leave them alone before they come rap, rap, rapping at our doors OK?

P.S. What more proof do we need to know crows are scary as shit other than the fact that a flock of crows is called a “murder” of crows. Seriously, LOOK IT UP.