Marijuana Anonymous Group Wants To Put A Sign In Your Yard

Capecodonline.com – The organizer of the Cape’s new — and only — Marijuana Anonymous group is seeking places to put yard signs announcing the meetings.

The first 12-step meeting to help people with an addiction to marijuana will begin at 7 p.m. Monday at South Congregational Church in Centerville. The group will continue to meet weekly at that time.

The white signs, double-sided with green print, are typical yard signs that are placed in the ground.

We already know how I feel about these Marijuana Anonymous people, but they are in the news again with this little plea for places to put their signs so I’m revisiting an old subject. Seeing them in the news again gave me an idea. I decided I’m going to pick a random harmless plant and start a support group for those whose lives have been ruined by it.

Ladies and gentleman I proudly announce Eggplant Anonymous. We will be meeting in church basements across The Cape drinking burnt coffee out of paper cups and talking about the negative effects of the dastardly plant.

Have you lost your job because you were cooking up Eggplant Parm all night and peeking out of your windows at invisible intruders? Did your wife leave you because she caught you in a hotel room eating Roasted Eggplant with a transvestite hooker? Are you tired of finding your kids and their friends licking the eggplant peels left over in the sink from your all night Baba Ganoush parties?

If so please join us at 4:20 every afternoon at The Church of Our Lady of Addiction Hypochondria where we will be smoking weed by the pound and thanking our lucky stars that Mary Jane is not nearly as addictive as the Purple Princess. And if you don’t have a problem with eggplant, I implore you to not only think before you peel, but also stay away from zucchini. Everyone knows zucchini is the gateway veggie that leads you down the rabbit hole of a lifetime of hell.