We Are Getting A Pirate Museum!

HYANNIS — Gov. Deval Patrick has signed a bill that allows the town of Barnstable to lease the National Guard Armory on South Street, which will become a pirate museum.

The bill, which was sponsored by state Rep. Brian Mannal, D-Barnstable, is one of the last remaining hurdles before developers can move forward with plans for a museum there. Patrick signed the bill Tuesday, Mannal said.

There’s two ways they could go with this. An awesome way, and a terrible way. The terrible way is to make it all serious with grainy photos and history books about Captain Kidd and crap like that. Which is most likely the way they will do it.

How absolutely awesome would it be if they went theme park with it though? Big huge pirate ship with a bar inside of it. Captain Sparrow makes you walk the plank right into a heated pool. Wenches walking around everywhere selling shots of rum. It could be like a pirate version of King Richard’s Faire but replace the giant turkey legs with… wait, what the hell did pirates eat? Fish?

Anyway, the entire thing could be sponsored by Captain Morgan and it would probably make a fortune for the town of Barnstable. I’m sure it will end up being some tourist trap that collects dust though. No chance anyone involved is nearly cool enough to actually propose the idea of a drunken paradise full of booty.