Capecodonline.com – A man with ties to Mississippi is being held without bail after he allegedly stabbed another man Tuesday morning on Nantucket.

The victim, 24, who lives on Square Rigger Road, told police that James Walker, 26, who lives on the island but is from Mississippi, accused him of being a police informant, according to Nantucket police.

Walker allegedly pushed the victim, who ran. Walker caught up to him outside the home, stabbing him with a knife and threatening to kill him, police said.

The victim got away and was treated at Nantucket Cottage Hospital for wounds that were not considered life-threatening, police said.

Walker turned himself in Wednesday morning, police said. He is charged with attempted murder, assault in a dwelling while armed, witness intimidation, assault and battery, and two counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, a knife.

Nantucket District Judge Peter Lauriat ordered Walker held pending a dangerousness hearing Monday.

In my endless research of the more upstanding members of Cape Cod society, I have come across the term “dangerousness hearing” quite a few times. In certain situations it always struck me as a bit strange. Is it really necessary to hold a hearing to deem the “dangerousness” of a dude who just stabbed and threatened to kill someone? Isn’t that kinda like holding a creepiness hearing for Jeffrey Dahmer? Ahh… yeah, I’m pretty sure the guy who put a hole in a human being with a knife is dangerous.

In all fairness the proper procedure in this situation should really be to hold a “snitchiness hearing” for the other guy. I mean if he is really a snitch you have to let Stabby McGee out of jail right? He was just doling out a punishment perfectly suited to the crime, everyone knows that snitches get stitches, that’s just a part of life. Stabby was just following protocol.

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Dunkin’ – Happy National Coffee Day! We’re excited to celebrate one of our favorite holidays with a great offer around our new Rainforest Alliance Certified™ Dark Roast coffee and a bold, yet smooth contest! Today, in participating Dunkin’ Donuts restaurants nationwide and while supplies last, guests can receive a free medium cup of our NEW hot Dark Roast coffee.

Sweet, free cof… wait a second… Dark Roast?! Oh screw you Dunkin Donuts, don’t be pawning off your new frou-frous bullshit on National Coffee Day. If we wanted crappy burnt dark coffee we’d go to Starbuck’s.

P.S. Unless Maria is pouring mine, then I’d take a cup of urine.

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That’s right folks, Philly’s own Big D is back on the peninsula. Break out the Yuengling and ring the Liberty Bell because shit’s about to get Wawa at The Beach House! I’m giving you The Real Cape good time guarantee for this one, Don’s infectious energy will suck you into its vortex and spit you out the other side with dance moves you didn’t even know you had.

The Cape’s own Boombasnap starts things off at 10 p.m. with a set of their own and will stay to back up Don for the rest of the night. This show is kind of like the Matrix, you can’t be told how much of a good time you will have, you just have to see for yourself. Do it. You won’t regret it.

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WL – Orleans has already secured a state habitat conservation permit to balance public access and plover protection, but is still waiting for federal sign-off. Now funding from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency may help the streamline the federal process.

Orleans’ state permit allows the town to institute a 100-page plan that allows monitored off-road vehicles to drive by two plover nests in order to get to miles of beach, stretching toward Chatham, where buffers to protect endangered species aren’t triggered.

Many in town, and beyond, were pleased that after a decade of failure state officials were able to work with Orleans and approve a plan for the south side of Nauset Beach and people are hoping that other Cape towns can benefit.

To make the process smoother and less expensive at the federal level, the state, backed by a group of Cape towns called the Regional Beach Access Committee, is working on securing a statewide habitat conservation permit from U.S. Fish and Wildlife. If the state secures a permit from the federal government, communities would only need to work with the state. The new funding will help the state develop the permit application.

The Massachusetts Division of Fisheries and Wildlife will receive $188,694 to continue working with towns and private conservation organizations to develop an umbrella conservation plan that allows flexibility in plover management to provide relief to beach managers.

Everyday we get new articles about our ongoing battle with U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, and with every one comes more confusion. At this point it is so insane that I can barely wrap my head around it. Basically, what the above article states, is that $188,694 of taxpayer money is going to help the state learn how to deal with the towns complaints against the feds? Read that sentence again. This money is not actually conserving or helping anyone in any way, it is only to assist in the bureaucratic quagmire that has formed between different levels of government.

So after years of regulations in which the feds used our tax money to keep us off of our beaches, towns are fighting back using our money. Orleans has spent countless hours and dollars developing their plan to balance humans and plovers. Chatham just earmarked $300,000 of their budget to block the Fish and Wildlife service from taking 717 acres of their land. Now the state is getting in on the action as well by spending our money just to referee the fight. To recap… the towns are using our money to fight the regulations the feds put in place using our money and the state generously offered to help… using our money.

That is an expensive argument over a fucking bird. No wonder the government wants to save the Piping Plovers, the money we are spending fighting over them is paying peoples salaries.

We’d be better off spending all this money on condoms, because one thing is clear… We are getting fucked by everyone.

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WL – Bourne Selectmen last week approved and signed a lease and legal notice of award that allows Waltham-based Harvest Power to seek local, state and environmental permits in its plan to build an alternative waste-to-energy plant on a town landfill tract off MacArthur Boulevard northbound.

Harvest Power plans an anaerobic-digestion facility similar to what it operates in British Columbia, Ontario, and Orlando Florida. The Bourne plant would burn animal/food waste and other organic material to generate electricity and produce fertilizer pellets.

There was no board discussion, however, about how and when waste would arrive on the Cape, how it would be stored for usage at the landfill plant, daily volume involved, and how the material would be handled. This presumably falls to health board site-assignment review.

The lease signing is the culmination of four years of investigation, review and follow-up legal work by at least two assistant town counsels, working in concert with the landfill business working group chaired by Selectman Donald Pickard. State and federal review, once plant design concludes, is thought to last two more years.

The board of health, meanwhile, remains concerned about odor-control management, air quality at the plant and the handling of plant leachate, which may flow ultimately – in treated fashion – to the nearby Joint Base Cape Cod waste pipeline that empties into the canal at Sandwich Road.

So this place is essentially a bigger version of that food processor that runs the DeLorean after Doc Brown gets Back From The Future? It seems like a no brainer to turn crap and scraps into energy and all but doesn’t that seem a little too good to be true? Haven’t animals already extracted all the energy from their feces? If this is an efficient way to create power than why aren’t these things everywhere? I think I may know the answer…

First off, what the hell is “leachate”, and do we want it being emptied into the canal? Here’s what I found… “In the narrow environmental context leachate is therefore any liquid material that drains from land or stockpiled material and contains significantly elevated concentrations of undesirable material”. Sounds harmless enough. Sure, dump it in the canal. I love Striped Bass with human feet growing out of their faces.

Second, there was no discussion about how and when the waste would arrive on Cape Cod? Hold up… wait a second. We are going to import shit from off cape? We aren’t turning our own shit into energy? This is no good. Given the concerns about the smell of this operation, I think it may be a deal breaker. This would be like going to the bathroom after a stranger took a dump. The smell is so much worse. It’s one thing to be smelling our own crap, nobody wants to smell someone else’s crap.

So basically the plan is to truck in foreign animal shit, try to suck the last bit of good from it, and then dump what’s left in our ocean? Hmmm… I’m no EPA official, but I’m pretty sure you might want to take a hard look at this one Bourne.

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WL – Mill Stores, a Cape Cod-based retailer of unfinished furniture, has announced that it will close nine of its 13 stores in Massachusetts, Rhode Island and New Hampshire.

The company declined to comment on the store closings, a store representative said Monday.
Its Canton and Plymouth stores are among the ones that will close.

The other Massachusetts locations expected to shut their doors are in Raynham, West Yarmouth, Westboro and West Harwich.

The company has not said when the stores will close, but it is advertising closing sales.

Oh they declined to comment on the closings of the unfinished furniture stores? Well let me take a stab at it. Maybe they need to shut ’em down because they are selling furniture that isn’t fucking done yet. Throw a couple coats of lacquer on that shit and you might actually sell a few futons once in a while.

Seriously, what kind of lunatic buys a bunch of firewood with a cushion hanging off it? Do these people go to Italian restaurants and order a half dozen tomatoes, a bag of flower, two eggs and a rolling pin? Maybe Mill Stores should team up with Sherwin Williams and offer some painted crap you don’t need to invest 28 man hours into before you can sit on it. It’s furniture for christ’s sake, not a Frisbee at the Barnstable County Fair, nobody wants to paint their own.

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Mlb.com – Steve Cishek doesn’t seek much individual attention, but the Marlins closer fully embraces the honor of being named Miami’s 2014 nominee for the prestigious Roberto Clemente Award.

“It’s an awesome award,” Cishek said. “It’s something I’m really thankful for; to have your name tied in with Roberto Clemente is a humongous honor. It’s probably the greatest award I’ve ever received. The way he demonstrated himself on and off the field, it is something every player wants.”

The Marlins will recognize Cishek’s nomination pregame at Marlins Park on Sunday before they face the Nationals.
Cishek is one of the 30 club finalists for the annual honor, which recognizes an MLB player who best represents the game of baseball through positive contributions on and off the field, including sportsmanship and community involvement.

The past three seasons, Cishek has served as the spokesperson for the Bunkers in Baghdad program, which provides golf supplies to the troops.

“It piqued my interest because I like golf, but I talked to one of my friends who is on a naval ship,” Cishek said. “I told him about the organization, and he was just ecstatic about it. It surprised me.

“He said, ‘Anytime we can get something sent from back home, it means the world to us, because we’ve been on the ocean for three to six months.'”

How about Falmouth’s own Steve Cishek? Not only is he having a career year as the Florida Marlins closer, he’s also making a difference off the field. No biggie, The Cape is just spitting out talent resulting in Billboard chart topping songs and dominant Major League Baseball closers. Not bad for a peninsula full of drug addicts.

Voting opened today for the Roberto Clemente award, take a minute out of your day and go vote for Steve. He’s out there representing Cape Cod mowing down batters and supporting our troops, let’s show our appreciation as a community by supporting him at the ballot.

CLICK HERE to vote for Steve

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