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Turn your volume up, the commentary is hilarious.

Sweet Jesus! If this happens when we aren’t dealing with Armageddon it shuts down the highway. During Snowpocalypse? Nobody even skips a beat. When it’s been weeks of broken subways and 5 hour commutes not one person gives a shit about your little rollover if there’s still room to get by.

Sorry station wagon, you weren’t expecting help from a Masshole when it’s the end of the world outside were you? Ain’t nobody got time for that.

thanks to Rich Mannillo for the video and the great commentary

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Photo credit: Joe Cavanaugh 

Portuguese rejoice! If per chance they should close the bridges you can still make get your linguica by embarking on a pilgrimage to Gaspar’s on foot!

P.S. “still make get” was 100% a typo, I caught it before publishing this but left it in because it’s actually perfect Portuguese-American grammar.

P.P.S. Cue the Amaral’s is better comments. Or god forbid we may even get some Old Neighborhood comments from people who wouldn’t know good linguica if their Mary on the half shell lawn ornament came to life and hit them over the head with it.

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CapeNews.net – This spring, the town will set traps up and down Green Pond in hopes of catching and eradicating, or at least reducing, the population of the invasive green crab, one of the worst soft-shell clam predators.

“They’re voracious and prolific,” said Marine and Environmental Services fisheries technician Matthew V. Weeks. He blames the invasion of the European crabs in part for the nonexistent commercial soft-shell clam, or steamer, fishery in Falmouth.

They have caused the depletion of shellfish resources in other areas of New England as they also feed on oysters, quahogs and mussels, Mr. Weeks said. They are also known to mow down eelgrass that many shellfish use for their habitats.

Scientists believe the green crabs journeyed to North America in the ballast of Europeans ships in the late 1800s.

This is one of the biggest problems with being a global vacation destination, you let a few of the wrong ships in your port in your early years and you end up getting crabs from some Eurotrash. The next thing you know nobody is harvesting your once abundant soft clam.

It’s not surprising that our marshes caught crabs when you think about it. What’s with all the eel grass? Maybe if we start shaving so our coastline doesn’t look like a jungle the crabs might die off. This is Cape Cod for crying out loud, not the set of some ’70’s porno. Time to clean it up.

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CapeCod.com – It has been a struggle for most Cape businesses this winter, but tourism officials are hoping February vacation will be a boost for local hotels.

With schools out across the commonwealth, this week has historically proven to bring an influx of off-season visitors to the Cape.

“We do get a really good shot in the arm for school vacation in February and then again in April. What’s different about it is that it tends to be really concentrated in the hotels and the B&Bs,” said Cape Cod Chamber of Commerce CEO Wendy Northcross.

Although this snow-filled winter might be driving some vacationers north, Northcross said that the Cape has long been an alternative to the Green Mountains of Vermont and the White Mountains of New Hampshire during February break.

Bahahahahaha! Good one! Oh man what a funny article, this had me rolling in the six foot snowbank outside of my house.

In related news, we here at The Real Cape are hoping for a huge influx of overly sensitive, politically correct readers from Idaho.

Seriously though, we are certainly not knocking Wendy Norcross, she is a trooper, staying positive is her job and it’s admirable that she is sticking to her guns, but… Bahahahahaha!

P.S. What will happen first, an influx of vacationers to Cape Cod this winter, or the LAPD getting a lead in Jeff Lebowski’s stolen car case?

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From the Cape Cod Times…

According to the Newport News, the Sedona was owned by Jason McGlashan, who purchased it on eBay, the online auction site, for $10,000. Jason McGlashan told the paper he and his father, Reg, planned to make the 8,600-nautical mile voyage to Port Macquarie, Australia, over six to eight weeks.

“We’ve never done anything like this. Dad’s not even a sailor, but he’s a quick study,” Jason McGlashan told the Newport Daily News. “We’ve got plenty of food, plenty of booze, good sails and all the safety gear you could ever need, so we’re going to be OK.”

I said before that these two should be banned from America. Well, I changed my mind. These two should do jail time. I’m not even joking. Lock them up and put a plaque on their cell wall with their own quote on it. Under the quote plaque hang photographs of every Coastie that has ever died rescuing civilians at sea.

Jason McGlashan and his father have no respect for mother nature, no respect for science, and they have no respect for their fellow man. Get these morons out of the general population before they kill someone.

P.S. “Dad’s not even a sailor” is the understatement of the year.

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ACK.net – Coast Guard crews responded to an offshore distress call from a 43-foot sailing vessel that was disabled and adrift in today’s winter storm about 150 miles south of Nantucket.

The operator of the Sedona reported the vessel was without power and its sails were torn in the storm. He requested he and his father be removed from the vessel due to the degrading weather.

Watchstanders at the command center directed an MH-60 Jayhawk helicopter crew from Coast Guard Air Station Cape Cod to launch. Faced with worsening storm conditions, the aircrew launched successfully, but due to ice and low visibility the HC-144 Ocean Sentry support plane was unable to launch.

The two men told the Coast Guard they had purchased the sailboat on eBay and were sailing it from Rhode Island to Australia, petty officer LaNola Stone told WBZ-TV.

OK, let’s start with the obligatory “thank god everyone is alright and made it home safely”.

Now, with that out of the way, these two kangaroos should be banned from everything. America, the ocean, Ebay… EVERYTHING. It’s not exactly a high risk proposition, I don’t think America will lose the cure for cancer by banning these two MENSA members. While we’re at it we should probably neuter the son so he can’t make the tragic mistake his father made by procreating. This bloodline needs to end and it needs to end now.

Call me an insensitive asshole if you want, but if you have enough money to buy a 42′ sailboat, combined with big enough balls to sail it from Rhode Island to Australia in February, AND you are too stupid to look at the weather and know you are sailing into a storm that everyone has been talking about for a week, then you are a moron simple and plain, and I have no pity for you.

I hope they make these dingo fuckers pay the entire Coast Guard bill for their rescue, and I want them to apologize personally to every single family member of all the Coasties whose lives were put at risk because they have more PayPal money than they do common sense. Darwin is rolling over in his grave right now, how are we supposed to evolve as a species if we keep rescuing douchebags like this?

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