This thing was designed for Cape Cod life. I am not a material person, things don’t matter much to me, but I’m pretty sure now that I’ve seen this cooler, if I don’t get one I will die.
P.S. If anyone gets me one of these they can have free tickets to everything we ever do in forever and ever.
P.P.S. Look at this guy! Look at how much fun he is having! By himself!
HyannisNews.com – A bus driver notified Hyannis Rescue and police after a fight broke out on board a summer school bus on West Main Street.
At about 1:00pm, Barnstable Police and Hyannis Rescue responded to a parking lot near the intersection of West Main Street and Lincoln Road for a fight between two young students, with one of the students reportedly bleeding…
The school bus was taking a number of eight and nine-year-olds home from summer school classes when two boys started to scrap.
One boy took a shot to the nose and was treated and released by Hyannis Rescue for a simple nose bleed…
When Hyannis News arrived, a boy was being placed in a cruiser to be transported to a Hyannis address to have a word with his parents…
Let’s see here. I count two cruisers, a motorcycle cop and an ambulance responding to two 8 year olds fighting on a school bus. Holy shit have times changed or what? When I was a kid and two 8 year old’s fought on the bus do you know what happened? The bus driver slammed on the brakes, the two kids flew through the air and smashed into the back of a seat. The kids then looked up in horror as the bus driver snatched each one by the back of the shirt like a kitten and gave them a tongue lashing. No police, not even any parents or teachers were involved.
Now when there’s a fight between two 8 year olds a freakin’ S.W.A.T. team shows up and starts throwing little kids in the back of cruisers and shit. Look, I’m not blaming the bus driver or the cops, they have to respond this way or people freak out. I’m just saying it’s a different world, we live in a police state because everyone is so scared shitless by what we see in our newsfeeds on our phones everyday that we think every little problem is a god damn apocalypse.
Everybody just calm the fuck down and let’s have a pot luck dinner or something. Jeez.
P.S. Eight year old’s Dude.
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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony
These Brazen Belles shows were all sold out, but a little birdie told me they just added some more tickets. Great venue, great shows, no brainer. Act fast or miss the sass.
Buy tix HERE
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CCT – Whether fascination or fear sent them, people of all ages, locals and visitors, packed the auditorium of the Salt Pond Visitor Center in Eastham Tuesday night for an hour-long shark talk.
State Marine Fisheries Biologist John Chisholm had the crowd’s full attention as he spoke about the white sharks who swim and feed in Cape Cod waters. Chisholm, along with Dr. Greg Skomal, are the lone (and very busy) members of the state’s Shark Research Program.
Where you find seals, you’ll find white sharks, according to Chisholm. Since 2009, Chisholm and Skomel have been tagging white sharks along Cape Cod–some as far up the coast as Nauset Beach, but most around Monomoy in Chatham–an area that Chisholm dubbed “Shark Cove”.
Over those 4+ years, the marine biologists, with the assistance of spotter pilots and the father and son crew of the Ezyduzit, Captains Billy and Nick Chaprales, have tagged 39 white sharks with three different types of data tags.
“Shark Cove” is an especially good spot to find and tag sharks because of the abundance of seals and the wavy sand bars that bring the sharks close to the water’s surface–right where the shark needs to be for tagging.
Excuse me? 39? I’m starting to think my irrational fear of sharks may not be so irrational after all. “Shark Cove” sounds like a real neat place. Oh the wavy sandbars bring the sharks right to where they need to be for tagging? Right to the surface you say? Do you know what else the surface is perfect for? EATING PEOPLE!
I know I’ve said it before, but this time I mean it. I’m done with swimming in the ocean. I thought white sharks were as rare as baby seagulls, but now I find out these guys have tagged 39 of them. 39! As a rule I don’t enter areas where the amount of predators that can bite me in half are found in numbers greater than my age. Sorry ocean, you’re out.
P.S. An “abundance of seals” to eat and nice sandbars. Cape Cod has officially become a 4th of July Cookout for Great White Sharks. Awesome.
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CapeCodToday.com – The first passengers aboard JetBlue’s Flight 863 from JFK International Airport in New York to Barnstable Municipal Airport in Hyannis were treated to much more than JetBlue’s customary inflight television and endless snacks. The first passengers aboard the airline’s 100-seat, twin-engine Embraer E190 were greeted not only by their loved ones, but smiling town officials, pols and other local brass.
Chamber staff handed out swag bags stuffed with local goodies to the arriving passengers and those on the return flight to the Big Apple were also treated to a catered spread featuring white and blue frosted cupcakes and a presentation before their flight. There was even inflight seat bingo (with prizes including 20,000 TrueBlue®points) and a customary water cannon salute honoring the first landing.
First things first. We have a solid record of being staunch supporters of tourism here at The Real Cape. We want these people to visit Cape Cod and spend their money as much as anyone, but let’s slow down a little bit here…
Do we really need to give them swag bags, cupcakes and a fucking water cannon salute? These are New Yorkers, not hostages getting home from Iran. Let’s just all take a collective deep breath and remember Bucky Dent for a minute shall we?
P.S. Seriously? A water cannon salute?
P.P.S. What constitutes someone being referred to as “local brass”? My new goal in life is to become Cape Cod “local brass”.
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Cape Cod Healthcare’s (CCH) July blood drive schedule came with a sweet surprise. During the months of July and August, anyone who donates a pint of blood at one of CCH’s designated blood drives will receive a coupon for a free pint of ice cream plus a scoop at any of the three Friendly’s locations on Cape.
The program is a partnership between CCH, Friendly’s and the Cape Cod Baseball League.
Keeping a proper storage of blood at Cape Cod Hospital and Falmouth Hospital is a challenge, according to Constance Patten, director of the CCHC Blood Center. According to a release from CCH, forty units of blood are required to perform one open-heart surgery. Two hundred such procedures are performed at Cape Cod Hospital each year. One unit of blood only lasts between 35 to 42 days, compounding the challenge.
ICE CREAM!? DAMMIT!
This sounds like a great cause and all that jazz, but let’s be honest here, 90% of us read that headline and had a much better idea right? How perfect would a pint of blood for a pint of beer be?
Think about it for a second, just look at the bullet points:
Done. Slam dunk. A pint of beer for a pint of blood would be the single most successful blood drive in the history of Cape Cod. Guaranteed.
P.S. Now all day I’ll be daydreaming about the Guinness dialysis machine idea I’ve had for years.
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HyannisNews.com – A man allegedly took off all his clothes and stumbled around a private beach, approaching young women and trying to get them to join him…
At about 3:30pm, several Barnstable patrolmen rushed to the private beach at the end of Estey Ave for reports of man running around naked…
Hyannis News arrived just prior to police and started filming just as an officer approached the man. According to witnesses, the man sensed police were on their way and managed to slip on a pair of swim trunks just in time…
According to many witnesses, the man staggered up to three 19-year-old female sunbathers and tried to convince them to take off their bathing suits… saying, “Do you guys want to get naked… Why not, I’m getting naked..?”
The man then allegedly took all of his clothes off and stumbled around the small beach area totally naked…
The beach was crowded with local residents and the three woman he initially approached were horrified…
At one point he allegedly stood near a woman lying on the sand and aggressively addressed her trying to get her attention saying, “Hey! I’m talking to you…”
The frightened young women avoided making eye contact and tried to ignore him until police arrived…
According to witness, this is not the first time this man has belligerently harassed Estey Ave beach goers… For the better part of the summer so far, he has been known to show up intoxicated, trying to pick fights…
This guy made a big mistake. Everyone knows you don’t start off going to a beach to pick fights and then try to pull off the “let’s get naked, look I’m already naked” move. You’ve got to start off friendly, use a little charm before you drop trow, this guy has it all backwards.
As much as I hate to say it, this guy is actually not that far off with this trick. I have friends who have used this, I’ve seen the “since I’m naked, you might as well be naked” trick work quite a few times. Granted, those were with people that were inside the circle of trust, in seclusion, at night. It’s probably a bad idea to randomly try the no pants dance during daylight… in a public place… with complete strangers…
