We are under siege! It’s just an absolute frenzy out there at this point. I think I may have come up with a theory though. Maybe these are all mechanical sharks and they are being planted by the SyFy channel just to get everyone talking about sharks before the release of Sharknado 2.

How awesome would it be if in one of these YouTube videos all of a sudden Ian Ziering cut his way out of the shark with a chainsaw and started making out with that pig from the American Pie movies? That would be the single best marketing tactic in the history of everything.

P.S. Maybe we can teach them to eat Honduran children and kill two birds with one stone.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeAndIslands.org – Every now and then a local angler happily pulls up a fish, only to discover that what’s on the hook was not what was expected.

This week there was plenty of excitement among fishermen at the news, and picture (above), of Captain Nat Chalkley landing a sizable cobia while chunking for stripers off the Elizabeth Islands. Cobia are found mostly in southern waters; the NOAA websitelists their range as “from Texas to Virginia.” They are reported to be good eating, and to be solitary-type fish, not often swimming in groups.

Wait, who the hell does this Cobia think he is? You can’t just swim up here from Texas or Virginia and expect us to let you swim around in Cape Cod waters. SEND IT BACK!

This Cobia is a threat to our way of life. Next thing you know they will be coming up in droves and stealing jobs from Stripers and Cod that have lived here for generations. We should be worried about our own fish, not some immigrant fish from somewhere else. This is a threat to our way of life.

SEND THEM BACK!

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CCT – Approximately 30 citizens gathered at the Otis Rotary entrance on MacArthur Boulevard to demonstrate their opposition to Governor Patrick’s offer to bring children who have fled their countries (Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador) and crossed our southern border into the United States.

The migrant children ran away from poverty and crime to what they hoped would be a better life.

They are children who don’t speak English in a foreign country without their parents.

Camp Edwards here on Cape Cod is one of the two possibilities being considered for temporary sheltering of these kids while they are being processed.

I’d like to get in these people’s ear for a few minutes and just ask them a few questions. For starters, imagine that you are a child, how awful would your life have to be for you to leave your parents, your home, and everything you are familiar with, in order to escape whatever horrible situation you are in?

Now imagine this, you have heard of this place called the United States. You’ve heard how it is a country built on immigrants. It is a place where no matter what you have, you can always improve your life. It is the home of the “American Dream”, but when you get there, instead of open arms, you are met with a bunch of fat white assholes wearing socks with sandals holding signs that say “send them back”.

The ultimate irony is that the crusty Wal Martians holding those signs grandparents did the same thing these children did, except they were met with a giant awe inspiring statue of a woman holding a torch that bears the very name of what we as a nation are supposed to offer… liberty.

So I’d just like to ask those people protesting letting orphaned kids who have been through a depth of hell they couldn’t even imagine, where would you be right now if they had sent your grandparents back?

P.S. You are also just protecting something you stole to begin with. There really should be a Wampanoag sitting next to the douche with the “send them back” sign with his own sign that says “I totally agree”.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

So now I’m at the point where I’m already thinking about Liam Maguire’s Sunday Funday Build Your Own Bloody Mary Brunch on Saturday night. Last week Mrs. Hippie and I sat at the bar because we were only going to stop by for a quick one. About 4 hours, 58 strips of bacon, 27 cheese skewers, 14 shrimp, 8 pickled vegetables and a lobster tail later we decided we had to either leave or legally change our last name to Maguire.

Don’t take my word for it though, the average reaction from every person around us when their Bloody Marys arrived at their table was, “Oh. My. God. Look at this thing!”. “Stone Cold” Steve was sitting next to us for a while and ordered The Great esCape. I am 100% serious when I say that at least 10 people left their tables to come over and take pictures of the thing. It is INSANE…

In case you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know what I am talking about, that monstrosity up there is a Bloody Mary from Liam Maguire’s on Main St. in Falmouth. They do a Sunday Funday Build Your Own Bloody Mary Lunch that is out of this world. It starts at 12 noon with some nice, chill acoustic music from The Silent Trees and goes until 3 p.m. Check out this build your own Bloody Mary menu, you can literally order them in hundreds of configurations, and they have a killer food menu as well.

Sunday Brunch

Breakfast Burrito

Scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, and two hash browns with an avocado chipotle aioli.

Irish Breakfast

Two eggs cooked to order, two rashers, two bangers, black and white pudding, home fries, and a fried tomato. Served with brown bread.

Crab cakes Eggs Benedict

Two English muffins topped with jumbo crab cakes, Irish bacon, poached eggs and our own homemade hollandaisesauce. Served with home fries.

French Toast

Three slices of thick cut Sourdough bread dipped in our own cinnamon French toast batter. Served with a side fresh fruit.

Chicken & Waffles

Habanero Guinness waffles with two fried chicken breasts, smothered in Southern style white gravy, made with our own bangers. Served with REAL New England Maple syrup and pickled vegetables.

P.S. I know you are all on the edge of your seats because I told you I was going to get cucumber vodka in my Bloody last week. So here are the official results of last weeks test… cucumber vodka and Bloody Marys are like peas and carrots!

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

There are quite a few perks that come with being the most famous blogger on Cape Cod. I get to go days at a time without putting on pants, I get to try products that you can’t get yet, and most days I don’t have to put on pants, but probably the best perk is the fact that I don’t have to wear pants. Oh, and free beer!

Anyway, I recently exploited one of these luxuries that are only accorded to people who live the illustrious #bloglife. The guys from Naukabout were kind enough to get me one of the very first six packs of their new Lighthouse Ale. In the name of science, and to make sure you, the readers, received a proper review, I made sure to drink all six of them immediately. Here are the results.

The Lighthouse Ale tastes like… well, summer. You know those hot days when you are staring at the beer cooler at the store for like 20 minutes because you can’t decide what to get? You really want something with some nice real beer flavor, but it’s too damn hot for that, and you just don’t feel like drinking watered down swill either? This is the perfect time for the Lighthouse Ale.

It has plenty of flavor but is light enough to not weigh you down. It’s not one of those types of beer that they just water down to make light either, it has a nice, rounded, smooth flavor, not like hops soaked in water. It is definitely not one of those beers that you can only drink one or two of, this is a beer you can drink all night.

Being the man of the people that I am, I will put this theory to the test tonight at our Keller Williams show tonight by drinking about 27 of them. The guys from Naukabout will be at the show with samples so even you average Joe’s can get a taste of this new brew. Make sure to find them and Nauk one back.

P.S. Bloggin’ ain’t easy!

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony