Barnstable Patch Video: How to Make A Perfect Grilled Cheese (If You’re A Douche)

 

 
From Barnstable Patch

Listen Stuart I’m going to give you a pass here because you are Irish so you probably don’t have much experience with Italian sandwiches. You didn’t make a grilled cheese sandwich bro, you made a fucking panini. Grilled cheese is grilled cheese for a reason and one of them is that it doesn’t take two hours to prepare.

Grilled cheese is a sacred part of being one of or a combination of these things:

1. camping
2. tailgating
3. drunk
4. stoned
5. hungover
6. lazy
7. broke

All that crap you added to yours doesn’t jive with anything on that list. Your sandwich looks delicious, but calling it a grilled cheese is like calling a french pastry a pop tart. Sure I’d love one but I’m in my pajamas at 3 o’clock in the afternoon for a reason you fancy prick, and it’s not because I’m oozing with ambition.

P.S. You haven’t had a grilled cheese until you’ve bought one from a wook with dreadlocks named turtle on lot at the end of a three night run with the only $2 left to your name. If you understood that sentence then you know what I’m talking about.