WCVB.com – Excessive drinking is a risk factor for a number of adverse health outcomes such as alcohol poisoning, hypertension, acute myocardial infarction, sexually transmitted infections, unintended pregnancy, fetal alcohol syndrome, sudden infant death syndrome, suicide, interpersonal violence, and motor vehicle crashes.
Excessive drinking reflects the percent of adults that report either binge drinking, defined as consuming more than 4 (women) or 5 (men) alcoholic beverages on a single occasion in the past 30 days.
Excessive drinking also reflects the percent of adults that report heavy drinking, defined as drinking more than one (women) or 2 (men) drinks per day on average.
Here is how the 14 Massachusetts counties rank on the percentage of excessive drinkers from least to highest.
Barnstable #14
Middlesex #13
Franklin #12
Suffolk #11
Essex #10
Norfolk #9
Hampden #8
Hampshire #7
Bristol #6
Plymouth #5
Worcester #4
Berkshire #3
Nantucket #2
Dukes #1
And in related news. A new study to be released tomorrow shows that the pants of the residents of Barnstable County that were polled for this study are indeed on fire.
Seriously though this study could not be more full of shit. First off the parameters they set for what constitutes excessive drinking are simply insane. By their measurements every single person I know is a raging alcoholic. Wait, actually, I guess it’s entirely possible that every single person I know IS a raging alcoholic.
Anyway, no surprise that the two islands are partying their faces off, but Barnstable County finishing dead last? That just doesn’t pass the sniff test. The only logical conclusion is that you people are all a bunch of liars. Not to worry though, we here at the Real Cape will make it our mission to restore Cape Cod to its former glory as the alcohol capital of Massachusetts by drinking enough beer to skew the numbers back in our favor.
P.S. LIARS!
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