Turnto10 – An earthquake jolted Rhode Island early Wednesday morning, with residents reporting they heard rumbles and felt their houses shaking.

NBC 10 News received multiple viewer comments that they felt or heard something around that time.

“Really loud in Bristol. Sounded like a very low plane then the house shook,” Chris told us on NBC 10’s Facebook page.

“I heard a rumble and thought it was a thunderstorm. My dog is sticking to me like glue,” said Patricia of Greene.

“Earthquake felt in Johnston. Thought it was a car accident in front of my house!” Alissa said in a tweet.

Blizzards, tornadoes, earthquakes…  I don’t know what is going on around here but Mother Nature is PISSED. Remember the old Cape Cod when snow only lasted for a day or two, tornadoes were something we saw happening in Kansas trailer parks on the nightly news and earthquakes were 3,000 miles away? Oh and what happened to warm winters and cool summers?

Things are getting out of control, it’s like Mother Nature forgot that we are the chosen people and bad things aren’t supposed to happen to us or something. Maybe she’s been getting too many complaints from the heathens in the rest of the country about how good we have it here on Cape Cod and is making it up to them?

Whatever Mother Nature, show us what you got. I don’t know if you read our recent post about all the alcohol companies popping up all over the Cape or not, but we’ve got enough booze being produced on this peninsula to make it through whatever apocalyptic nightmare you can throw at us. Cape Codders are like cockroaches in a nuclear war. It’s going to take a lot more than a few natural disasters to wipe us out. A silly little earthquake is nothing a couple cases of Cape Cod IPA and a bottle of Notch can’t get us through. The struggle is real folks.

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ACK – Notch Whisky, the barrel-aged, single-malt of Triple Eight Distillery, hit gold last week in the International Spirits Challenge in London, which judged the 12-year batch released earlier this year to be the best single-malt whiskey in the world, outside of Scotland.

Only Scottish single malt whiskey can be called Scotch so it competes in a separate category.

“I can’t emphasize enough how learned, how distinguished this group is,” Triple Eight co-owner Randy Hudson said before listing off the heavy hitters competing and judging the event from Ireland, Scotland, Japan, France, Australia, the U.S. and more. All spirits are rated in a blind taste test by a panel of industry elites.

Well, well, well, would you look at that. For quite some time people have been saying that the year round residents of Cape Cod and the Islands are a bunch of alcoholics. Well, you know what they say, when life gives you lemons, make booze out of ’em! (or something like that). Congrats to Triple Eight Distillery.

Seriously though, it may be a cliche, but they say if you find something you are good at and really love doing and you can turn it into a business, then you’ll never work a day in your life. Why do you think we started a website where we get to be sarcastic pricks and throw giant parties?

This concept of loving what you do probably explains all of the alcohol companies that are thriving on the Cape and Islands as of late. We’ve got Cape Cod Beer, Devil’s Purse Brewery, Bad Martha Beer, Cisco Brewers/Triple Eight Distillery/ Nantucket Vineyards, Farmer Willie’s, Truro Vineyards, and the list goes on.

Cape Cod may be full of people who love their booze, but it’s also full of some of the smartest people on earth, so it looks like we are turning the tides from being the alcoholics capital of the world to the alcohol business capital of the world. I don’t know about you, but here at The Real Cape we couldn’t be more proud.

The only thing better than being a bunch of drunken, sarcastic pricks that like to party is being a professional bunch of drunken sarcastic pricks that like to party and make money doing it. If Cape Cod keeps going in the direction we are headed we may just become the Silicon Valley of Gluttony. What a country!

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Yes, this is a totally candid shot of some tourists at the beach in North Carolina. This has to take the cake as the most absolutely ridiculous touristy tourist thing of all time right? I can just see Kansas Ken talking to his wife on the way to the beach…

“We’ve had this trip planned for 7 months and I’ll be damned if we are gonna come all this way and not get to wade into the Atlantic.”

Is it really that important to get into the ocean that people are willing to cage themselves in making it impossible to move 6 inches in either direction? I would pay twenty gajillion dollars to watch these people get attacked by a shark. Just a rated G attack, I don’t want them to die or anything, but there is something about this scene that is bringing back some kind of primal comedy in my bones. I can’t quite place my finger on what is so funny about… WAIT!

Now I remember what it reminds me of that’s so funny, it would be like an adult, real life episode of…

 

… except when the shark hits the cage, instead of feathers flying up everywhere it would be an explosion of Wal-Mart bathing suits and fanny packs. Oh man tourists are so freaking funny.

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HyannisNews.com – At about 8:17PM, Barnstable Police responded to the President John F. Kennedy Memorial on Ocean Street for a report of a man swimming around naked in the water fountain.

According to a source, the man hung all his clothing on the rails that encircle the fountain pool and then jumped in, wading around in front of tourists and families of all ages.

A family with 7 and 9-year-old children were just out for a bike ride when they saw the naked man. They didn’t appreciate the sight and contacted police.

Police arrived and swiftly arrested the man.

I’ve got mixed feelings about this. On the one hand nobody likes having dirty bums hanging out all over downtown Hyannis right? Sure, they are people too and they deserve compassion and all that jazz, but the bottom line is that they just aren’t good for business, right?

Well maybe we should block times where they get to use public fountains to wash up. Block the area off, dump some extra bleach in there and let ’em at it. Of course it won’t do anything to actually help the situation, but at least Hyannis will have the cleanest bums around. Tourists will be like, damn that place was so nice that even the homeless people are clean as a whistle!

At the very least you can hardly blame the dude for taking a dip, look at this place, that’s gotta look like Water Wizz to a bum.

 

On the other hand? Children. We don’t need little Billy and Cindy stumbling upon Oscar the Grouch and Ashy Larry playing Marco Polo in their birthday suits if you know what I mean. I guess we’ll just have to get used to the stench of the dude waiting in line in front of us to buy a pack of Basic cigarettes and a fifteen cent scratch ticket at the convenience store. Stupid kids ruin everything.

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Just another day on Cape Cod, maybe this is just his warm up act. Hopefully the Pied Piper up there is going to get the Plovers to follow him over the Bourne Bridge and off of this peninsula for good. That’s what Cape Cod needs… a Pied Piping Plover Piper to escort those little rats right off the beaches. Do it Zamfir!

thanks to RPV for the pic

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Seriously what is going on around here? In less than an hour we get a pic of a guy with a dog in a sidecar and a dude with a giant teddy bear in a sidecar? Is this a thing? Is it SidecarCon on Cape Cod this weekend or something?

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Call off the search, we finally found the guy who has it all figured out.

thanks to Justin for the pic

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