As most of you know The Real Cape is in production this week with a reality TV show. We will be shooting footage for the TV show at this party Thursday night and it is going to be a good one. One of the missions of the TV show, just like the website, is to show the world that there is killer music and arts scene on Cape Cod. We know this is short notice but we are hoping you will all come out to help us shine a national spotlight on what is really happening here on the Cape.

So strap on your party shoes and come let loose at a good ol’ variety show with some of the most creative people the Cape has to offer.

The show is this Thursday 3/19 night at The Beach House. The fun starts at 7:30 with the best burlesque show these eyes have ever seen, compliments of the lovely ladies of The Brazen Belles. Following the Belles there will be a heavy dose of infectious hooks, sweaty dance floor rhythms, big guitars and word play by Cape Cod’s premier original rock band Crooked Coast.

This is a FREE event and we will be providing food at no charge as well. Please help us to make this night as special as we all know this peninsula is. Let’s show the world that Cape Cod is more than beaches, lighthouses and tourist traps. Let’s show them that there is just as much amazing shit happening here in March as there is in August. Let’s have a blast and make a bad ass TV show while we are at it.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

I woke up this morning hungover, started looking at Facebook on my phone, and was getting pelted with stupid lists about why I am this way, how I know I grew up in the ’90’s, or how to tell I have the absolute bestest BFF in the entire world.

I was just about to puke when I realized these lists were actually making me physically ill, so I came up with my own list, to make you physically ill, to make myself feel better. The list of ways to know when you’ve completely OD’d on random internet lists. Why 11? Because it’s more than ten, duh.

11. You really think that you’re “spontaneous yet organized and stubborn but fair” just because your parents named you Tiffany.

10. You think that Zach from Saved By The Bell was the voice of a generation.

9. You keep telling everyone that if you were an animal you’d be a polar bear because you’re “cute and welcoming on the outside, but don’t take any crap from anyone either“.

8. You are actually thinking about moving to San Francisco because you have 13 out the 14 traits on ViralNova’s list of reasons to move there. (Cut it out, you aren’t actually a hippie, you just like comfortable clothes and organic salads)

7. You think that because you recognize a photo of the Bourne Bridge, you’re an expert on Cape Cod.

6. This sentence has come out of your mouth- “OMG number 3 on this random list I found on Facebook is totally the reason we are BFF’s.”

5. You’re convinced that you and a redwood tree actually share a lot of the same traits.

4. You think that Matt Dillon is your soul mate just because Singles is you’re favorite movie from the 90’s. (It’s EVERYONE’S favorite movie from the 90’s, dumb ass)

3. You needed a Buzzfeed post to realize that Nickelback sucks.

2. You think the Olsen Twins being growing up is a sure sign that you’re getting old. Well no shit Sherlock, they are human and they age at the same speed as you.

1. You are truly convinced that you NEED to try the Nutella donut at The Kangaroo Cafe in Roanoke, Virginia before you die. (You don’t)

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Phase two of The Real Cape TV show begins now. We will be going into production for the TV show in the next few weeks. The Real Cape crew will be getting into all kinds of crazy situations all over the Cape with camera crew in tow, but we are still open to suggestions. So if you or someone you know either has a very Capey, or out of the ordinary job, or you have an event going on in the next few weeks on the Cape that you think is TV worthy then we want to hear from you.

Our goal is to show the underbelly of Cape Cod, we want to get into the Cape that we all know and love. Not the shit you see in brochures, but The Real Cape (see what I did there).

Send us an email to [email protected] with any tips and please share this post with anyone you know who is up to something cool on the peninsula.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeCodTimes.com – Joseph Glynn, plunging into the sometimes turbulent waters of local politics for the first time, decided to make a big splash: signing on to run for every office on Yarmouth’s local ballot this spring.

The 52-year-old U.S. Army combat veteran and former Boston firefighter-EMT, picked up his nomination papers from the town clerk’s office last Friday for Board of Selectmen, Dennis-Yarmouth Regional School Committee and Yarmouth Housing Authority.

He gathered the required 50 registered voter signatures for each position during Saturday’s St. Patrick’s Parade, and turned them in to Town Hall Tuesday afternoon.

His campaign slogan is already posted on his Facebook page: “Elect Your Regular Everyday Joe.” On the page, he promises a “meet and greet event” on St. Patrick’s Day, numerous coffee hours around town for the public to enjoy “regular Joe Conversations over a Regular Joe.”

Regular Joe? More like the 2nd coming of Che Guevara. Is this even legal? Aren’t there rules in the Yarmouth constitution about checks and balances and consolidation of town power?

Listen, I don’t know Joe Glynn, he’s probably a great guy and has` wonderful intentions, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t write about a guy coming out of nowhere and running for every single office in town. Not to mention he got on the ballots by getting a bunch of drunk people in styrofoam leprechaun top hats to sign his nomination papers. That should be illegal in its own right, those people were so drunk and confused they thought they were actually Irish.

Like I said, maybe Joe is just what he seems and nothing more. I’m sure everything will be fine. But just in case, if he does win and in three months Yarmouth secedes and becomes a Chinese territory, don’t come crying to me. I warned you Yarmouth, I’d sure up your militia now just in case.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Topix – The Barnstable police report said that Scott F. Warren swung the bat at the man outside the Salvation Army in Hyannis on Jan. 23 after the two men argued about dividing proceeds from selling scrap metal in New Bedford. The victim said he fought Warren in self-defense after Warren grabbed a knife from the center console of the car in which they were both sitting.

Everybody check your outside showers to make sure the copper pipes are still there. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that bats and knives aren’t coming out at The Salvation Army in a dispute over the proceeds from perfectly legal scrap metal sold in New Beige.

This just proves one of my steadfast rules in life. Don’t ever leave the scrap yard without divvying up the dough first. Next thing you know Dude Guy falls in love with a leisure suit at the Salvation Army and decides he needs more cash. If that’s not a perfect recipe for assault with a deadly weapon then I don’t know what is.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Well I guess it’s pretty obvious that everyone in the newsroom at USA Today is monitoring The Real Cape. They probably have like five reporters just combing the entire site at all times.

Sorry to be short with this post but we’ve got more national news to break, we just got word that some dude broke into Dunkin’ Donuts in Falmouth. Apparently he fell through the ceiling tiles and his shoe fell off… it’s a real Cinderella situation.

big thanks to Tom Loring for the tip

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

MVGazette – A complex and groundbreaking project that aims to bring back the heath hen is advancing “at lightning speed,” scientists said this week.

The small bird that is a member of the grouse family went extinct more than 80 years ago when the last known male died on Martha’s Vineyard.

Now, using DNA plucked from the toes of heath hen specimens in Canada and Chicago, DNA samples from a greater prairie chicken from the plains of Nebraska and funding from donors with Vineyard ties, a team of scientists from around the country hopes to complete the first phase of the heath hen de-extinction project by early summer.

Even if the effort falls short of its end goal — to bring the heath hen back into existence — scientists involved said the quest to bring back a long-lost bird could help existing bird species.

“This has opened up the idea whereby we might approach many species,” said Tom Chase, a Vineyard conservationist who is a key advisor for the project. “It’s probably not just a Vineyard, heath hen thing anymore. It’s probably much bigger than that.”

This has to be a joke right? Is anyone going to bring up the 800 pound gorilla in the room (or should I say neanderthal)? Have none of these people seen Jurassic Park?

I say we stop the ferries and the flights right now just to be safe. Sure, it might be just a little chicken today, but we’ve all seen how fast that shit escalates. One minute you’re enjoying a Bad Martha IPA at the snack bar and the next thing you know you’re getting chased through the cargo hold by a freakin’ Velociraptor.

How about the fact they are doing this shit it on an island? How cliche can you possibly get? On the bright side, I guess when The Vineyard gets overrun by giant zombie death chickens we can evacuate it and just let them have it.

P.S. Uh oh, here’s a live look at my water glass… looks like it’s already too late…

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony