WL – The Monomoy Sharks will unveil a new sport this spring, as both boys and girls lacrosse will be introduced in the coming weeks.

Initially playing as a club team, both teams will look to grow and establish themselves in the coming years.

“We took a poll, and lacrosse was the main sport people in the community wanted to see offered,” said Monomoy Athletics Director Paul “Spanky” Demanche, adding that the teams had been budgeted into the 2015 budget.

Finsanity! Shampoo your lettuce and throw some fabric softener in with your mid calf tube socks, it’s time to play some lax!

The question I keep asking myself is if the poll was really necessary though. Oh, you mean the kids of Harwich and Chatham on Cape Cod voted for lacrosse? I almost knocked off my $3 hot pink wayfarers adjusting my flat brimmed hat I was so shocked by these poll results.

I would have thought they built Monomoy High School out of lacrosse sticks and glue.

CapeNews.net – A student film that raised concerns among administrators at Quashnet Elementary School will not be screened publicly, the parent advisor to the film project told The Mashpee Enterprise on Wednesday, March 18.

Students in the Quashnet Filmmakers’ Club began shooting the film, titled “School of Fates,” in May 2014. The five-minute short film, which was directed by 10-year-old Quashnet student Gavin Wills, was shot at the school and follows a dream sequence experienced by the film’s actors. Eight other Quashnet students also acted in or worked on the five-minute film, said Morgan J. Peters, the club’s parent advisor.

“Gavin is a very precocious young man,” Mr. Peters said. “He came in with an idea and we went ahead with it. I thought it was cool. It was very innovative.”

While she said she supports the club, Quashnet principal, Patricia DeBoer said she took issue with the tone of the film, which she found too dark and said failed to promote a safe school atmosphere at Quashnet. She added that while she was aware students were making a film, she did not see a finished version of the film prior to receiving Mr. Peters’s e-mail.

“Protocol-wise, there are a lot of things that should have been done,” Ms. DeBoer said, adding that parents of children involved in the making of the film also expressed concerns with the film. “It’s unfortunate that this comes at the expense of the children’s hard work.”

Mr. Peters said he planned on screening the film on Mashpee TV, but announced Wednesday, March 18, that the film would not be aired in light of concerns from school officials.

“If they don’t support it, I have to respect it,” he said. “But I also have to support this young man’s vision. He worked hard on this film.”

Welcome to the real world Gavin. Usually overly politically correct government institutions wait until you are older to try and suck the will to live a creative life right out of you, but it looks like Quashnet Elementary is adhering to a policy of crushing hopes and dreams through censorship a little earlier than average. Gavin just learned phrases like “issue with tone”, “protocol”, and “failure to promote a safe atmosphere” at the tender age of… TEN.

Seriously, this situation is just gross. Do you know what I was doing when I was ten years old? I was in the woods eating sticks. This kid is dreaming up plot lines and creating films. It may not be a good idea to stifle those urges or at some point Gavin is going to give up on being ambitious and start looking for some nice soft pine to chew on.

Hey Gavin, I feel ya man, but don’t give up. I wasn’t allowed to write whatever I wanted so I just started my own website. Technology is a beautiful thing and it means you won’t have to rely on stuffy school administrators to approve your creativity for very much longer. Until then, if you want people to see your films, send ’em to us, we will publish every single one.

P.S. Unless they completely suck, we may hate authority, but we don’t publish total crap either.

P.P.S. Also, a big thumbs down for whomever’s decision it was to not screen the film on Mashpee TV. You didn’t need to follow suit and bow to the irrational censorship of a school administration, have a spine will ya?

CCT – A West Yarmouth man faces a slew of charges including impaired driving and failure to register as a sex offender following his arrest Tuesday night. According to a Yarmouth police release, officers attempted to pull over the driver of a Mercedes SUV with a non-functioning headlight on Willow Street around 10:30 p.m.

Despite the siren and lights, the driver, 50-year-old Christopher MacDonald of 53 Lewis Road in West Yarmouth, reportedly refused to pull over.

Police said MacDonald jumped out of the car and ran to the home at 53 Lewis Road with police following on foot… The officers were able to get inside the bedroom where they attempted to arrest MacDonald who they said kept his arms under his body to avoid being handcuffed.

MacDonald was reportedly injured during the struggle with officers when his face hit the floor breaking his glasses…

MacDonald reportedly refused transport to Cape Cod Hospital.

During booking, police discovered that MacDonald has been living with his mother on Lewis Road for the past two months during which time he failed to register as a sex offender.

MacDonald, a Level 3 sex offender, was last registered in Bourne. In 1994, MacDonald was convicted of indecent assault and battery on a person aged 14 or older. He was last registered as living at 59 Hunters Brook Road in Bourne according to the state Sex Offender Registry Board (SORB).

Looking good bud! Might as well change your name to Assaulty McKidrape and move to Diddleville, Florida at this point because you aren’t fooling anybody.

How relieved were these cops when they found out this dude was a non registered sex offender? Of course it’s never “good” news to hear that someone is a diddler, but it sure as shit ensures that there is no chance the officers involved get sued because of him “hitting his face on the floor and breaking his glasses.”

Those cops could have stuck a billy club up this guy’s urethra and people would be baking them cookies and shit. Look I’m not saying that the police beat this dude up or did anything wrong. I’m just saying that if you are a police officer and you somehow find yourself with a prisoner in your custody that has 93 lacerations to the grill piece, it might as well be a sex offender. The only thing anyone would get mad about when it comes to facial lacerations on a diddler is that there aren’t enough of them.

P.S. Gotta love the flesh colored band aids, barely noticeable at all bro.