Cape Cod Craigslist Ad Of The Day – Zachary’s Is Looking For A Topless Piano Player

craigs

Craigslist – Topless Piano Player (mashpee)

compensation: at interview

Topless Piano Player wanted for female adult dance club in Mashpee.Must be at least 18 years old.

Must have a driver’s license.

Apply in person 12:00 Noon to 5:00 pm Tuesday to Sunday at::

Zachary’s Pub

100 Great Neck Road North

Mashpee MA

Look at Zach’s adding a little touch of high society! Nothing says class like a gal playing Motley Crue songs on a piano with her boobs hanging out. Seems like it would be a nice gig though, tickling the ivories on a piano is probably a nice little change of pace when you get sick of tickling a bunch of random coke dealers ivories in the champagne room if you know what I mean.

P.S. How have the Fun Police not gone after Zachary’s yet? I bet it’s probably because the guy that got The Landfall’s license revoked is in Zach’s basement right now with three strippers, two goats, and a car battery attached to his nipples.

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Get Your Real Cape Gear Just In Time For Summer – May Cause Awesomeness

summer people shirt 2

i'm from here shirt side

CLICK HERE to go to the shop and see the rest.

Not only do Real Cape shirts look great, they also result in people nodding each other approvingly in the supermarket because they know they are looking at someone who gets it. It’s kinda like how people in VW Bugs all wave at each other. Plus, the more shirts you buy, the bigger and better shows we can bring you. So yeah, buying a shirt is a win for all of Capekind.

SHOP

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The Fun Police Killed An Institution – No More Music Sunday Nights At The Landfall

landfall

CapeNews.net – For many years, the Landfall Restaurant in Woods Hole has been a magnet on Sunday nights throughout the summer, attracting a young crowd to listen to live bands.

But an April 6 Falmouth Board of Selectmen decision to cut short the Sunday music license prompted owner Donald A. Estes to disband the Sunday entertainment.

“How can you have a tourist town without any nightlife?” Mr. Estes asked. “Pretty soon there won’t be any entertainment after midnight in Falmouth. It won’t be too much fun for young people to come to, or for people on vacation.”

The board approved an entertainment license good until 1 AM Monday through Saturday, and until midnight on Sundays, an hour earlier than previous summers. The restaurant patrons do not clear out until 11 PM, which does not leave enough time for music, he said.

He called the Sunday nights an “economic engine” that provided jobs for bartenders and a regular place for local musicians to play.

“There are very few places in Falmouth like this,” he said.

The restaurant had 30 nights of music last year, resulting in just one complaint, he added.

Over the years, Woods Hole resident Thomas Crane had made formal complaints about the late night music emanating across the water from the restaurant to his Juniper Point Road home a quarter of a mile away.

For those of you that aren’t aware, Sunday nights at The Landfall in Woods Hole are an institution. It was one of those things where you didn’t ever have to look anything up, ask where your friends were going, or pine over any decisions. If you were going out on Sunday night, you went to The Landfall to see The Old Silver Band, end of story. It’s been that way for years.

Now, because of one dude that lives a quarter of a mile away, thousands of people will no longer be able to enjoy one of the most popular nights the Upper Cape has to offer. It is simply asinine to think that one guy can ruin that many people’s good time. Falmouth should be ashamed of itself for this one.

Do you see that photo up there? It says “celebrating our 70th season”. SEVENTY. This is not a new thing, The Landfall and the Estes family have been doing this, and doing it well, for a very long time. Now it seems like if it were up to the town they wouldn’t be doing it for much longer. This was such a popular night that I’d imagine it has to be taking away a good sized chunk of their bottom line, and it has been taken away by the very town they have been employing, feeding and serving for 70 years. It’s appalling.

Where does this end? The Landfall is surrounded by other businesses on all sides. The Steamship is right next door, WHOI and MBL are neighbors, there’s a half dozen other restaurants and bars within a few hundred yards. Downtown Woods Hole is as commercial of an area as there is on Cape Cod. If we can’t have fun there, where are we supposed to do it? This is a huge loss for The Landfall, Woods Hole, Falmouth, and Cape Cod.

The most frustrating aspect to all of this Fun Police nonsense is that we, the silent majority, outnumber them by such a huge margin, but for some reason our representatives cater to their every whim. What kind of democratic society are we living in when ONE man can end the enjoyment of thousands?

The struggle is real folks, it’s time to take back Cape Cod.

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Don’t Miss Bela Fleck And Abigail Washburn Tonight!

bela

CLICK HERE for tix and info

Nothing says spring more than banjo music, and nobody on earth does banjo music better than Bela Fleck and Abigail Washburn. So dust off the cobwebs, wake up from your winter slumber and get to the Martha’s Vineyard Performing Arts Center tonight.

In case you don’t know, it’ll sound a little something like this…

For all of you mainlanders, what better reason could there be for your first trip of the season to Martha’s Vineyard? Off season rates and world class music in a world class location. Seems about perfect to me…

TICKETS

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Massachusetts Medical Marijuana Program Faces Deficit Of Over $1,000,000

 

grassachusetts2

ML – The state’s medical marijuana program is projected to run a $1.17 million deficit in fiscal year 2015 despite a state law requiring the program to pay for itself, according to the program’s annual report.

Nichole Snow, deputy director of Massachusetts Patient Advocacy Alliance, a medical marijuana patient advocacy group, said the deficit “shows that the people who were in charge originally really didn’t put enough thought into it.”

Scott Zoback, a spokesman for the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, said, “The administration is in the process of revamping a poorly functioning medical marijuana program it inherited in order to best serve patients safely and ensure the system is living up to the law passed by Massachusetts voters.”

According to projections in a report released March 1, the fund that operates the medical marijuana program is expected to take in $1.74 million this fiscal year, which includes a surplus from last year. The money comes primarily from registration and renewal fees from dispensaries and patients. Dispensaries must pay $50,000 a year to operate, while patients pay $50 annually.

Expenses, however, are expected to be $2.9 million, with the bulk of that going to information technology and staff salaries.

Absolutely unreal. If you ever want a perfect example of how horribly run Taxachusetts is, look no further than this disaster. While all the other states that have legalized medical marijuana are raking in millions of dollars hand over fist, Massachusetts is somehow managing to LOSE money. Our state is so inept that it can’t even make money in the drug business.

As horribly as Massachusetts has botched this monetarily, the lost revenue pales in comparison to how badly they have failed the citizens of this state. We passed medical marijuana in 2012 by a margin of 63% for and 37% against. In a general election that is a LANDSLIDE. It is now 2015 and there is still not one single medical marijuana dispensary open, yet there are thousands of patients that have been paying the state for their med cards for years. I repeat, sick people are paying the state their hard earned money to register in a medical marijuana program that provides NO MARIJUANA.

Whether you are for or against medical marijuana you simply can’t over look the systemic failure of our representatives to actually implement the will of the people. When the people vote for something, pay for it, and have failed to get it three years later, democracy is broken, plain and simple.

P.S. The woman in charge of this entire program until very recently now runs Cape Cod Healthcare. Sleep well.

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Corporate Bullying: Diadora Claiming Cape Cloth’s Logo Is “Identical” To Theirs

cape cloth

CapeCloth.com – As you may or may not remember, Diadora, a global retail behemoth, decided to claim months ago that the Cape Cloth logo imposed on their logo, stating they are so similar, identical in some cases even, to each other. Of course, anyone with two working eyes can see that this is pure ridiculousness. They’re not even close. Identical in some cases? Which cases? When the observer ingest hallucinogens?

But the way the US Trademark system works, there are windows where anyone with a lawyer can claim an opposition. Obviously, bigger corporations with teams of lawyers, can spend millions of dollars claiming that smaller companies are imposing on them. It’s not true, but rather a spineless method for the big guy to hold the little guy underwater until he runs out of air. Of course, large legal teams need to justify their salary, so what better way than to scour the internet all day, every day, filing baseless oppositions, in an effort to prove they were worth hiring. Nicholas Wells, representing Diadora and Italy by way of Salt Lake City, is one such lawyer.

So instead of focusing on bringing Cape Cod and all its fans more great products, more money has to be spent on lawyers to email and call each other to discuss this horse shit.

Well this is corporate bullying at its finest. Looks like we need to call for a Cape wide ban of Diadora products. On what planet are those two logos “identical”? They aren’t even close to each other. Like he said, this is obviously a case where a lawyer just needs some billing hours. Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles can tell those logos look nothing alike. Diadora’s logo is just some made up shape anyway, Cape Cloth‘s is an actual land mass, shouldn’t that end the conversation before it even starts?

Let’s rally the troops and show some support for Cape Cloth, fighting crap like this takes time, and time is money. So go check out their website and if you see anything you like, buy it. This is a local company owned by a good dude that is working his ass off and donates part of the profits to Cape Abilities. We don’t have nearly enough home grown businesses on this peninsula, it would be a shame to lose one over some trumped up logo infringement crap.

P.S. That question about the hallucinogens though, we might have to test that, you can’t be too thorough in cases like this.

CLICK HERE

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Man Films Himself Trying To Deposit Fake Sperm At Seamen’s Bank In Truro

thad supersperm

CapeCodTimes.com – A 19-year-old New York man was charged with disorderly conduct and unlawful wiretap after videotaping a prank at two banks in Truro and Eastham.

According to a police report by Truro Police Sgt. Carrie DeAngelo, Dude Guy of Suffern, N.Y., and his 15-year-old sister entered Seamen’s Bank on Route 6 in Truro and Guy told the teller he wanted to make a deposit, and held up a plastic bag containing a milky white substance.

The teller told him it was not that kind of bank, according to the report.

The teller said the man was straight-faced and appeared to be serious. After the pair left, bank officials alerted other branches. Guy repeated his request at the Eastham branch where tellers noticed the woman was filming the interaction and got a license plate and vehicle description. When stopped by Eastham police, Dude Guy was riding in the car with his sister and his parents. He told police he was making a funny video for a college course.

After DeAngelo arrived at the stop she noticed that Guy was filming her while she was asking questions. Guy handed over the plastic bag saying it was liquid soap. Underneath his sweatshirt, he was wearing a recorder that recorded audio when the camera was on. DeAngelo took possession of the recording equipment to be used as evidence.

His parents became angry and argumentative, DeAngelo wrote, protesting that it was just a joke, and that he didn’t hurt anyone or make any threats. Guy was charged with disorderly conduct and unlawful wiretap for taping people without their consent. On Monday he signed an agreement with prosecutors that allowed him to avoid arraignment and a record as long as he performs 40 hours of community service, is respectful when making future videos, and submits a two-page essay.

Seems like this was inevitable to me. When you name your bank Seamen’s you have to expect that at some point a kid is going to show up with a bag full of fake sperm and a video camera. If they wanted to avoid this situation they should have changed the name of the bank as soon as the first episode of Jackass was aired.

It is nice to see young families out spending time with each other though. It seems like it would be a little awkward for mom and dad to drive around with Dude Guy, his 15 year old sister and a bag full of fake sperm, but who are we to judge? You know what they say, the family that films spank bank pranks together, stays together.

P.S. Hey Dude, if you read this, please send us the video when it is done. We are dying to see it.

 

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