There are quite a few perks that come with being the most famous blogger on Cape Cod. I get to go days at a time without putting on pants, I get to try products that you can’t get yet, and most days I don’t have to put on pants, but probably the best perk is the fact that I don’t have to wear pants. Oh, and free beer!

Anyway, I recently exploited one of these luxuries that are only accorded to people who live the illustrious #bloglife. The guys from Naukabout were kind enough to get me one of the very first six packs of their new Lighthouse Ale. In the name of science, and to make sure you, the readers, received a proper review, I made sure to drink all six of them immediately. Here are the results.

The Lighthouse Ale tastes like… well, summer. You know those hot days when you are staring at the beer cooler at the store for like 20 minutes because you can’t decide what to get? You really want something with some nice real beer flavor, but it’s too damn hot for that, and you just don’t feel like drinking watered down swill either? This is the perfect time for the Lighthouse Ale.

It has plenty of flavor but is light enough to not weigh you down. It’s not one of those types of beer that they just water down to make light either, it has a nice, rounded, smooth flavor, not like hops soaked in water. It is definitely not one of those beers that you can only drink one or two of, this is a beer you can drink all night.

Being the man of the people that I am, I will put this theory to the test tonight at our Keller Williams show tonight by drinking about 27 of them. The guys from Naukabout will be at the show with samples so even you average Joe’s can get a taste of this new brew. Make sure to find them and Nauk one back.

P.S. Bloggin’ ain’t easy!

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

1 day until our Keller Williams show at Pufferbellies in Hyannis! For any of you that are going to Moe at the Melody Tent we’ve got you covered. Keller is going on at 10 so you won’t miss out. Pufferbellies is only 1.6 miles away, so this will be an EPIC night out on The Cape for you folks.

The Keller show is 18+. Who says there is nothing to do on Cape Cod unless you’re 21? The entire Real Cape team will be there and we’ll be giving away all kinds of goodies throughout the night. The guys from Naukabout Beer will be there as well with samples of their newest brews and all kinds of other free swag.

Keller announced the show on his Facebook page today so tickets are moving fast. Make sure to get yours in advance to make sure you don’t miss out on what is certainly going to be one of the best nights of the summer. This is going to be one hell of a party!

 

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

This is a really cool video and all. It’s pretty amazing just to see things like a harbor master wearing a suit on his boat, or wooden piers with boats docked on the side of The Canal.

By far the most amazing part though is that there were originally drawbridges over The Canal. Thank the good lord that someone smartened up and decided to build the tall bridges we have now huh? Imagine the road rage that would happen on a Friday afternoon in July or August? How many people would you shoot if you waited an hour and half in bumper to bumper traffic and then when you got to the bridge a gate came down and the fucking thing started going up?

I would guess the over under would be around 37 for the number of drawbridge related deaths by human hand per summer. Not to mention the turnover of bridge tenders. I know I’d be good for choking out at least three a year.

P.S. I challenge anyone to find anything that is more 1927 Cape Cod than this guy.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

10 Cape Cod Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

1. People From The Cape Are Baseball Lovers

The laughably bad movie “Summer Catch” doesn’t do Cape Cod League justice—nor was it shot in a place that looks anything remotely like Cape Cod. For those unfamiliar, the summer collegiate baseball league played entirely on the Cape is a breeding ground for top-level MLB talent, and is the next best thing to actually making out to a Sox game.

Actually, in some ways, the small crowds, close proximity to the players and great scenery make it even better. Running from mid-June and through mid-August, the league is one of those rare events that both true year-round Cape Codders, summer residents and tourists all check out and enjoy together.

There are 9 more of these but I will spare you the rest of the nonsense. When number one on the list is that we are all baseball lovers you can just go ahead and stop your dumb ass list right there. Do I even need to say anything here? The Cape League is awesome, everyone should be a fan, but the reality is that not even 1/100 people from Cape Cod have ever been to a game. The dude that wrote this even completely contradicts himself by saying how small the crowds are at Cape League games.

In case anyone needs more evidence that these lists are complete bullshit written by frauds, let’s do a little research. By research, I mean a 2 second Google search of the name of the author and the website. Guess what comes up? The same guy that wrote this article has also written these hard hitting pieces on locations around the country….

10 Oklahoma City Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

10 Amarillo Stereotypes That Are Completely Accurate

49 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Wichita

11 Things Only People From Buffalo Understand

The list of lists that were all written by this one guy goes on and on, but I’m too lazy to link to all of them. The point here is that these articles are what we call click bait. They are written by some guy who has never been here, who compiles them from other peoples’ lists. They are 100% designed to go viral and attract readers by suckering them in with familiarity. Just like how a “psychic” will throw blanket statements at you that relate to everyone in order to make a connection.

In the summer millions of people visit Cape Cod, so these lists pop up everywhere to attract their attention, like “Oh hey, neat I’ve been to Cape Cod, I bet I’ll relate to this list, maybe there’s even an inside joke”! Let’s make one true stereotype about us. Let’s make it 100% true that all people from Cape Cod universally hate lists about Cape Cod written by people that haven’t been here at least twice.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Onthewater.com – F/V Skipjack set out from Falmouth Harbor last weekend to fish Veatch Canyon in a confused forecast. On The Water photographer Matt Rissell, offshore columnist Jon Pilcher, Brian Cota and Jackson Parmenter made up the crew along with Captain Larry Backman.

Hearing of a drifting dead whale, the crew decided to start trolling 5 miles south of its location and to work their way to the whale to see what sort of life it had attracted. With a combined total of nearly 1,000 offshore New England trips among them, the crew had hopes of encountering a shark or two near the carcass.

Trolling north amidst sporadic breaking bluefin, Larry spotted the whale in the distance, ordered lines in and idled the boat up to a very dead and decomposing 35 foot adult right whale. Circling it from 30 feet away, they saw a blue shark underneath it and massive bite marks above the waterline of the whale. As they turned the corner around the head of the whale they noticed a large shark tail move away. Stopping by the whale, Jon saw 2 or three big sharks deep in the water. On the 3rd circle around the whale, she came.

“Oh my goodness – it’s a great white!”

The massive shark, easily the width of the boat, circled us curiously as the entire crew watched in awe of its size and grace.

While the length was impressive; the girth was unbelievable and the back of the shark was the size of a 4-by-8! It showed no fear of the boat, watching us as we watched it. Like a dog marking its spot, the shark moved in to the whale, powered its head clear of the water and took a number of massive bites, each one leaving a 4 foot wide circle on the dead whale. As if it was showing off, the shark rolled onto its side, letting us see its white belly and the underside of its pectoral fins. Its span was easily 8 feet wide!

Every week with the sharks! We can’t be far off from the first attack, I can feel it in the air. This thing was casually biting 4 foot chunks out of a whale? Oh, no biggie, just a mosquito bite.

How many of these killing machines do humans need to flirt with on a regular basis before we start installing shark nets? A nice big circle around the entire Cape should do just fine. Maybe we could keep the seaweed out while we are at it. How about a giant cement wall? Let’s turn Cape Cod waters into a giant wave pool, maybe throw a few water slides in here and there.

At least then we don’t have to worry about Cape Wind’s impact on sea life. The windmills will be in a giant water park. The worst that could happen is that maybe a bunch of fat people from Wareham congregate on the bases of them creating big ghetto human/seal islands.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony