A Cute Little Oarfish (That’s Bigger Than You) Washed Up On Nantucket

photo: Tyler Bradbury

ACK – A strange-looking fish believed to be a denizen of the deep-water ocean washed up on a Madaket Beach Monday evening and was photographed before being coaxed back into the water.

The fish, estimated to be about seven feet long, is believed to be a giant oarfish, the world’s longest bony fish. The fish is found worldwide, but is most common in tropical to temperate oceans. It normally ranges as deep in the ocean as 3,300 feet but up to 66 feet.

This is why I hate swimming in the ocean. People ask me all the time how I can be born and raised on Cape Cod and not like swimming in the ocean, well from now on I am carrying around a picture of this thing.

There is simply no reason I can think of to put myself in the same neighborhood as that sea serpent on purpose. Just because we were born surrounded by the ocean doesn’t mean it’s something we should be frolicking around in. Last time I checked we aren’t equipped with flippers, gills, or blow holes, and that’s enough proof for me.

You know what else we were born surrounded by? Outer space. But that doesn’t mean we should just wander around different planets half naked after drinking booze in the sun all day. The ocean is full of straight up aliens. It is not our natural environment and we simply don’t belong there.

Don’t get me wrong I’ll jump in to cool off, but the whole swimming for recreational purposes thing is just bananas to me. I love being ON the water, but I’ll stick with boating, jet skiing, tubing, or whatever keeps me above the aliens and firmly atop the food chain. I’d much rather count Turkeys and Plovers as my enemies over Oarfish and Jaws.

Here come the “you’re not a real Cape Codder”comments. Bring it on. I’ll challenge anyone to a Cape Off anytime… anywhere.