Why Cape Codders Couldn’t Care Less About This Fake Black Lady In Washington

dolezal

You’d think the world was coming to an end because one privileged white woman is pretending to be black. White America is freaking out left and right, but it doesn’t really seem like that big of a deal to me. I guess it’s because tons of privileged white kids have been pretending to be black on Cape Cod for years. Excuse me, tons of white kids have been “identifying” as black on Cape Cod for years.

Maybe CNN should come to this peninsula and check out the phenomenon we’ve all known about since childhood. For years we’ve been wondering why the white kid that lives on a nice cul de sac on Cape Cod and went to the same elementary school as us decided to act black. I guess he just felt right in a Tupac do-rag and a Triple Fat Goose jacket. He simply “identified” himself as looking fly as hell in Phat Pharm is all.

It’s not really a big deal, they usually end up putting one and one together and realizing that it really is much easier to be white. They notice much less police attention when they are wearing a belt instead of their pants around their knees. They notice how they get much better service at restaurants when they are wearing a collared shirt instead of a XXXXXL FUBU Tee. Basically they eventually realize that white privilege isn’t just a cliche.

So next time someone is all up in arms about the German Weave Queen up in Spokane, tell ’em it’s no big deal, she’ll grow out of it. Then tell them about white Jimmy J Roc from down the street who used to think he was in Wu Tang, but now he does your taxes and is in the Elks.

Or next time some conservative tells you it’s some liberal agenda, tell them to stop freaking out, this white people pretending to be black thing is nothing new, and they usually end up coming back to the whiteness anyway. Steve Martin was born a poor black child, and he ended up inventing the Opti-Grab. Look at Elvis, he was black as a teenager, and he ended up becoming a, white, bloated, fake DEA agent.

So everyone calm down about this fake black lady OK? It’s no big deal. Call me when Stevie Wonder pulls off a mask and reveals that he’s Old Man Withers from Scooby Doo. Then I’ll be impressed.

P.S. By the way, this “race identifying” thing works both ways, Tiger Woods has been pretending to be white his entire life. Nobody seems to care two sticks about that.

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Comments 21

  1. This is pure hate and prejudice I can't believe I just read what I did and truth is she African American and the term acting black is used by ignorant prejudiced people there is an urban lifestyle called hip hop culture and that what the "white" kids are mirroring in our suburbs I say who cares really

  2. Wow this post is incredibly racist & has nothing to do with the lady this post was supposed to be about. It's just what the author thinks of when he/she thinks of black people

  3. This is the most prejudice article I have read about this situation. That woman is educated beyond measure…she worked hard to get where she was and small minded people like you, black or white, is taking away this woman's credential because she identifies with the African American community? Your ignorance is bliss. Your idea of being black comes from a small minded and sheltered individual. Race is not the issue, it's the stupidity of people that think like you, white or black. This article right here is why racism still exists today..shame on you.

  4. This article seems quite racist to me. How does one "act black"? Why does a white woman need to identify herself as black to support Black America. Wouldn't she make just as much an impact with the NAACP by just representing what she stands for instead of faking it to make it? I think it would have made a much greater impact having a person represent what they believe in and what they want to advance in this country without lying. WHY LIE??? Do you think what you believe is right is better represented by being a lying, conniving manipulative phony? Because that is what she has now become. A fake, A phony, A lyer, A hypocryt. An idiot!

  5. Well this just proved a point. The color of a person skin dont make them a nigger. One of the definitions of a nigger is an ignorent person and this piece just proved that definition.

  6. How do I know? Because of his description of what it's like to "act black" and tiger "acts white"? You can't wear a Polo & golf and be black? All this nonsense about wearing a XXXXXL fubu shirt? And "tupac" durags? You can "act" like a thug or like your from the projects but that doesn't mean it's "black". So are black CEOS "acting white" when they wear suites? It's just ignorance plain & simple. How do you not see that? Read the other comments do you really not se what everyone is commenting about?

  7. How do I know? Because of his description of what it's like to "act black" and tiger "acts white"? You can't wear a Polo & golf and be black? All this nonsense about wearing a XXXXXL fubu shirt? And "tupac" durags? You can "act" like a thug or like your from the projects but that doesn't mean it's "black". So are black CEOS "acting white" when they wear suites? It's just ignorance plain & simple. How do you not see that? Read the other comments do you really not se what everyone is commenting about?

  8. Derek Thompson No, what it says is that is how white people think it is to act black and that's wrong. It's saying that "acting black" is not being black and white people could never understand being black.

  9. So explain to me how does one act black? Because they sag there pants, because the talk with slang, they were rocawear or Sean John or phat pharm?? That's a persons personality.. Not them acting black.. You have a child and if this is the mindset you have, she will have it to… Your the damn fool from what I'm seeing..

  10. What the hell is this?! I was a fan of THEREALCAPE. This is by far your worst publication. What a dissapointment. If you can't see that this article is racist/sterotypical then you need to educate yourself. PS… I'm a black man from Englewood, Chicago now living in the whitest part of the cape, Truro.

  11. How about embracing what we actually are with pride ? We all have a long line of ancestors that came before us pretending to be someone your not is disrespecting them by saying you would rather be something else! That's my take !i mean I love me some wutang buy I'm not Gona kink up my blonde hair and get all gangsta on you! Lol just walk in your own shoes don't steal someone else's

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