Why People Are The Worst and Hating Them Is The Best

People suck. I realized this when I got my first job at age 14. Like most Cape Cod natives, my ass was dropped off at Town Hall the day I turned old enough to legally get a working permit and off I went to collect tickets and answer phones at the Island Queen. I actually scooped ice cream in Woods Hole for a bit, too..shit I worked harder at 14 then I have in the last 10 years.

Working on the dock at the Island Queen, and eventually behind the bar on the boat, I realized how truly miserable and mean people can be. I freakin’ loved that job (outside of the time I fainted while loading hundreds of passengers onto the boat because I was hot. And the time I accidentally got my hand caught in the engine room door and broke it in three places. Or when I somehow managed to pour boiling hot water down my pants while attempting to clean the hot dog machine..but anyways) – not only did I work with some of the best people, but I was on the water all day in the middle of summer on Cape Cod. You would think the people I was serving should have had similar attitudes, since I don’t know..THEY WERE ON VACATION?!

But no. I’d be behind the bar and someone would come up to order, I’d greet them like a normal human would greet another by I don’t know, saying “hello” and asking what I could get them, and they’d just bark “BUD LIGHT”. Or “HOT DOG”.

We did have some regulars that spent weekends on the Vineyard, and they were fucking awesome. I worked behind the bar with my older sister and one of my really good friends, Diddy. We instantly befriended the regulars and still keep in touch with most of them. Outside of the few chosen ones, my sister, Diddy and I were literally appalled by the way people treated us.

My girlfriends realized the same thing at their jobs, too. And I’m not just referring to tourists or summer jobs. I’m talking in general here. I mean even to this day, now that I’m an adult and pretty deep into corporate America, people fucking suck. I could be sitting at my desk, minding my own business and Bossy McDickTits comes up to try and bitch at me for something that 1 – wasn’t my responsibility and 2 – I literally couldn’t care less about.

Bitch, don’t kill my vibe.

In addition to sucking, people are also fucking stupid. At my previous company we used to give out blinky key chains as gifts. You would not believe the amount of people that would pick them up, look at them like they were fucking Martian’s and ask how they worked.

“You press this little button here to the left, that says ‘PUSH’. Then, hop on one foot for 30 seconds and go fuck yourself because you’re literally too stupid to insult”

At this point, I’ve just learned to not let it get to me anymore. I used to get so worked up and upset when someone was rude or spoke to me like I was dumb. Even now, people ask how I don’t get upset or bothered. Why should I let someone whose clearly miserable and hates life alter my normally enthusiastic and charming attitude?

“I can’t believe they just spoke to us like that!”

Since acknowledging and accepting that people are the absolute worst, I’ve adopted the attitude of never wanting to be around them. I would literally prefer to stay home and sit by myself then go to a party or bar. My girlfriends used to try and get me to do shit but they eventually gave up because anytime they actually did get me to go I always ended up in the corner sleeping or playing with an animal.

People are the worst. We need a new plague.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

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