The Real Cape Music Festival Is Less Than Two Weeks Away – Tickets On Sale Now!

By Hippie

21 Jul

sidebarfest

(poster design by Joseph Vincuilla)

 

The Real Cape Music Festival is less than 2 weeks away! Early bird pre sale tix are moving fast and will be gone soon so get yours today to save some money before the price goes up. We’ve got tons of high energy bands lined up for the day. There’s something for everybody on this lineup and we will have two stages to make sure the music never stops.

The festival will be held at The Cape Cod Fairgrounds (formerly The Barnstable County Fairgrounds). Pixy 103 will be on the scene and their DJ MattyB will be MCing the day. Matty has been a Real Cape fan from day one so it was a no brainer to get him on board. Dirty Water TV will be filming an episode all day and night so be sure to keep an eye out for their cameras as well.

We will also have some live performance art by local graffiti artists and glass blowers, tons of great food vendors and there will be some surprise musical performances around the grounds throughout the day. Did I mention the mechanical shark? Yes, we have a mechanical shark, because why not? If you aren’t getting the basic idea yet, what I am saying is that The Real Cape Music Festival is going to be a festival in the truest sense of the word, with all kinds of weirdness all over the place.

So mark it down and grab your tickets early, we are going to be making history on August 2nd at The Cape Cod Fairgrounds!

Please check out the festival website HERE

Keep up with the fest on the Facebook event page HERE

Follow the fest on Twitter HERE

Check out our insane VIP packages HERE

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Today In Cape Cod History 1919 – Germans Attack 3 Miles Off Orleans – U.S. Planes Throw Wrenches

By Hippie

21 Jul

seaplane

CCT – ORLEANS, Mass., July 21, 1918–A German submarine attacked the tug Perth Amboy of the Lehigh Valley Railroad and her four barges three miles off this town on the southeastern elbow of Cape Cod at 10:30 A.M. today…

It is reported locally that in their haste to take off to repeal the u-boat, the flight crew from the Chatham Seaplane Base forgot to load any bombs aboard the planes, and ended up throwing their wrenches and other equipment at the escaping German submarines.

Holy crap! Germans were only 3 miles from The Cape in WWI? I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t actually come ashore. It seems like Cape Cod didn’t have the best defense system in 1919. Forgetting to put the bombs on your plane before a bombing mission has to be pretty embarrassing. Although you can’t knock the hustle when they started throwing wrenches and shit, gotta run what ya brung right?

At least if the Germans decided to invade Cape Cod now, it would take them forever to find a place they could come ashore, since 90% of our beaches are closed because of Piping Plovers. An endangered bird’s nest is a better defense than planes with no bombs on them.

P.S. Good practice for the Germans though right? You can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bomb.

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Oh Hey, Another Video Of A Great White – This One In Nauset

By Hippie

21 Jul

sharknado

We are under siege! It’s just an absolute frenzy out there at this point. I think I may have come up with a theory though. Maybe these are all mechanical sharks and they are being planted by the SyFy channel just to get everyone talking about sharks before the release of Sharknado 2.

How awesome would it be if in one of these YouTube videos all of a sudden Ian Ziering cut his way out of the shark with a chainsaw and started making out with that pig from the American Pie movies? That would be the single best marketing tactic in the history of everything.

P.S. Maybe we can teach them to eat Honduran children and kill two birds with one stone.

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Rare Cobia Caught In Cape Cod Waters

By Hippie

21 Jul

Credit Nat Chalkley / gtncharters.com

Credit Nat Chalkley / gtncharters.com

CapeAndIslands.org – Every now and then a local angler happily pulls up a fish, only to discover that what’s on the hook was not what was expected.

This week there was plenty of excitement among fishermen at the news, and picture (above), of Captain Nat Chalkley landing a sizable cobia while chunking for stripers off the Elizabeth Islands. Cobia are found mostly in southern waters; the NOAA websitelists their range as “from Texas to Virginia.” They are reported to be good eating, and to be solitary-type fish, not often swimming in groups.

Wait, who the hell does this Cobia think he is? You can’t just swim up here from Texas or Virginia and expect us to let you swim around in Cape Cod waters. SEND IT BACK!

This Cobia is a threat to our way of life. Next thing you know they will be coming up in droves and stealing jobs from Stripers and Cod that have lived here for generations. We should be worried about our own fish, not some immigrant fish from somewhere else. This is a threat to our way of life.

SEND THEM BACK!

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Protestors Gather At Otis Rotary Because They Hate Orphan Children

By Hippie

21 Jul

send them

CCT – Approximately 30 citizens gathered at the Otis Rotary entrance on MacArthur Boulevard to demonstrate their opposition to Governor Patrick’s offer to bring children who have fled their countries (Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador) and crossed our southern border into the United States.

The migrant children ran away from poverty and crime to what they hoped would be a better life.

They are children who don’t speak English in a foreign country without their parents.

Camp Edwards here on Cape Cod is one of the two possibilities being considered for temporary sheltering of these kids while they are being processed.

I’d like to get in these people’s ear for a few minutes and just ask them a few questions. For starters, imagine that you are a child, how awful would your life have to be for you to leave your parents, your home, and everything you are familiar with, in order to escape whatever horrible situation you are in?

Now imagine this, you have heard of this place called the United States. You’ve heard how it is a country built on immigrants. It is a place where no matter what you have, you can always improve your life. It is the home of the “American Dream”, but when you get there, instead of open arms, you are met with a bunch of fat white assholes wearing socks with sandals holding signs that say “send them back”.

The ultimate irony is that the crusty Wal Martians holding those signs grandparents did the same thing these children did, except they were met with a giant awe inspiring statue of a woman holding a torch that bears the very name of what we as a nation are supposed to offer… liberty.

So I’d just like to ask those people protesting letting orphaned kids who have been through a depth of hell they couldn’t even imagine, where would you be right now if they had sent your grandparents back?

P.S. You are also just protecting something you stole to begin with. There really should be a Wampanoag sitting next to the douche with the “send them back” sign with his own sign that says “I totally agree”.

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I’m Already Thinking About How I’m Going To Build My Bloody Mary Tomorrow

By Hippie

19 Jul

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So now I’m at the point where I’m already thinking about Liam Maguire’s Sunday Funday Build Your Own Bloody Mary Brunch on Saturday night. Last week Mrs. Hippie and I sat at the bar because we were only going to stop by for a quick one. About 4 hours, 58 strips of bacon, 27 cheese skewers, 14 shrimp, 8 pickled vegetables and a lobster tail later we decided we had to either leave or legally change our last name to Maguire.

Don’t take my word for it though, the average reaction from every person around us when their Bloody Marys arrived at their table was, “Oh. My. God. Look at this thing!”. “Stone Cold” Steve was sitting next to us for a while and ordered The Great esCape. I am 100% serious when I say that at least 10 people left their tables to come over and take pictures of the thing. It is INSANE…

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In case you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know what I am talking about, that monstrosity up there is a Bloody Mary from Liam Maguire’s on Main St. in Falmouth. They do a Sunday Funday Build Your Own Bloody Mary Lunch that is out of this world. It starts at 12 noon with some nice, chill acoustic music from The Silent Trees and goes until 3 p.m. Check out this build your own Bloody Mary menu, you can literally order them in hundreds of configurations, and they have a killer food menu as well.

flyers bloody2-1

Sunday Brunch

Breakfast Burrito

Scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, and two hash browns with an avocado chipotle aioli.

Irish Breakfast

Two eggs cooked to order, two rashers, two bangers, black and white pudding, home fries, and a fried tomato. Served with brown bread.

Crab cakes Eggs Benedict

Two English muffins topped with jumbo crab cakes, Irish bacon, poached eggs and our own homemade hollandaisesauce. Served with home fries.

French Toast

Three slices of thick cut Sourdough bread dipped in our own cinnamon French toast batter. Served with a side fresh fruit.

Chicken & Waffles

Habanero Guinness waffles with two fried chicken breasts, smothered in Southern style white gravy, made with our own bangers. Served with REAL New England Maple syrup and pickled vegetables.

P.S. I know you are all on the edge of your seats because I told you I was going to get cucumber vodka in my Bloody last week. So here are the official results of last weeks test… cucumber vodka and Bloody Marys are like peas and carrots!

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Someone Literally Left Some Crap At The Wellfleet Swap Shop (Yes, Poop)

By Hippie

17 Jul

poop

Capecodonline.com – An incident of human defecation on July 8 at the town transfer station’s “Swap Shop” has closed it for now, until volunteers can be found to man the shop, according to town officials.

The building was cleaned on July 10, said Health Agent Hillary Lemos and Department of Public Works Director Mark Vincent.

The swap shop, which is typically unmanned, is for Wellfleet residents only to exchange reusable household items. The shop hours are 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. daily during the summer.

There are no public restrooms at the transfer station but someone can use the employee restroom if needed, Lemos said Wednesday.

Town staff declined to say specifically what the incident was except to refer to it as “vandalism,” but Board of Selectmen member John Morrissey said Thursday it was his understanding that the incident was human defecation.

I don’t understand the problem here. This is a swap shop, isn’t the whole point that if you have some shit you don’t need anymore, you leave it there? Isn’t poop the epitome of stuff you no longer have any use for? This seems like an honest mistake to me, kinda like when George Costanzas boss asked if he had sex with the cleaning lady on his desk and his response was “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?”.

The obvious solution here is for them to put up some signs specifying exactly what you can’t swap there. I have a recommendation…

Feel free to take some stuff, but please refrain from taking a shit. – THANK YOU

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Beer Review: The New Naukabout Lighthouse Ale

By Hippie

17 Jul

photo (3)

There are quite a few perks that come with being the most famous blogger on Cape Cod. I get to go days at a time without putting on pants, I get to try products that you can’t get yet, and most days I don’t have to put on pants, but probably the best perk is the fact that I don’t have to wear pants. Oh, and free beer!

Anyway, I recently exploited one of these luxuries that are only accorded to people who live the illustrious #bloglife. The guys from Naukabout were kind enough to get me one of the very first six packs of their new Lighthouse Ale. In the name of science, and to make sure you, the readers, received a proper review, I made sure to drink all six of them immediately. Here are the results.

The Lighthouse Ale tastes like… well, summer. You know those hot days when you are staring at the beer cooler at the store for like 20 minutes because you can’t decide what to get? You really want something with some nice real beer flavor, but it’s too damn hot for that, and you just don’t feel like drinking watered down swill either? This is the perfect time for the Lighthouse Ale.

It has plenty of flavor but is light enough to not weigh you down. It’s not one of those types of beer that they just water down to make light either, it has a nice, rounded, smooth flavor, not like hops soaked in water. It is definitely not one of those beers that you can only drink one or two of, this is a beer you can drink all night.

Being the man of the people that I am, I will put this theory to the test tonight at our Keller Williams show tonight by drinking about 27 of them. The guys from Naukabout will be at the show with samples so even you average Joe’s can get a taste of this new brew. Make sure to find them and Nauk one back.

P.S. Bloggin’ ain’t easy!

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National Seashore Releases Official Warning About Great White Sharks

By Hippie

17 Jul

shark

WickedLocal.com – Cape Cod National Seashore Superintendent George Price reminds visitors and residents that we share the National Seashore with native wildlife. While it is rare for a great white shark to bite a human, it did occur in Truro in 2012.

*Swim close to shore, where your feet can touch the bottom.
*Swim, paddle, kayak, and surf in groups.
*Do not swim alone in the ocean at dawn or dusk. Avoid isolation.
*Limit splashing and do not wear shiny jewelry.
*Keep pets leashed. Inquisitive dogs can startle resting seals, resulting in seal bites or scratches to you or your pet.
*Follow instructions of lifeguards. Become familiar with the beach flag warning system. Take time to read signage at the beaches.

Listen, I know many of you are probably saying “Enough with the sharks Hippie, we get it”, but my hands are tied here. How could I not mention this? Look at that list of tips to avoid being eaten, it is insane. It basically says you should only swim at high noon, spray painted white, in 2 inches of water, and keep your dog in your basement. We are officially at def con 9 here folks.

Let me summarize that list of warnings for you. It can easily be broken down into one simple step to avoid being eaten…

MOVE TO OKLAHOMA!

P.S. Anyone know a good pool guy?

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Keller Williams Live On Cape Cod Is Tomorrow Night! – Show is 18+

By Hippie

16 Jul

keller

1 day until our Keller Williams show at Pufferbellies in Hyannis! For any of you that are going to Moe at the Melody Tent we’ve got you covered. Keller is going on at 10 so you won’t miss out. Pufferbellies is only 1.6 miles away, so this will be an EPIC night out on The Cape for you folks.

The Keller show is 18+. Who says there is nothing to do on Cape Cod unless you’re 21? The entire Real Cape team will be there and we’ll be giving away all kinds of goodies throughout the night. The guys from Naukabout Beer will be there as well with samples of their newest brews and all kinds of other free swag.

Keller announced the show on his Facebook page today so tickets are moving fast. Make sure to get yours in advance to make sure you don’t miss out on what is certainly going to be one of the best nights of the summer. This is going to be one hell of a party!

 

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