Today’s Weather: Cloudy With A Chance Of Bloody Marys

By Hippie

31 Aug

6R7A0187

It’s back to reality on Tuesday, so you better take full advantage and get in a Sunday Funday to remember. Go build yourself some memories of that time you had the best Bloody Mary on the planet and listened to special guest Daniel Byrnes playing some killer acoustic music at Liam Maguire’s on Main St. in Falmouth.

It’s going down right now, 12-3. If you aren’t drinking by now on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend then you are doing it all wrong. Go out with a bang and build one of these… that’s a memory you’ll NEVER forget!

escape

flyers bloody2-1

Sunday Brunch

Breakfast Burrito

Scrambled eggs, bacon, cheese, and two hash browns with an avocado chipotle aioli.

Irish Breakfast

Two eggs cooked to order, two rashers, two bangers, black and white pudding, home fries, and a fried tomato. Served with brown bread.

Crab cakes Eggs Benedict

Two English muffins topped with jumbo crab cakes, Irish bacon, poached eggs and our own homemade hollandaisesauce. Served with home fries.

French Toast

Three slices of thick cut Sourdough bread dipped in our own cinnamon French toast batter. Served with a side fresh fruit.

Chicken & Waffles

Habanero Guinness waffles with two fried chicken breasts, smothered in Southern style white gravy, made with our own bangers. Served with REAL New England Maple syrup and pickled vegetables.

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Spiritual Rez Friday and Saturday Night At The Beach House – Insane Tony Still Alive

By Insane Tony

29 Aug

rez beach hosue

(Editor’s note: How about Insane Tony coming out of the wood work with his first post in seventeen years! Last time we saw Spiritual Rez they absolutely destroyed it at The Real Cape Music Festival. Tony may be insane, but he’s right about not wanting to miss these guys.)

Most of you know that a shit load of things get better at the end. Happy endings after a massage, that beer after last call are just a few. Summer on Cape Cod is no exception. Labor day is a time for us to celebrate that we get our man made island back to our selves.

We all have the chance to go out in style at The Beach House the next two nights.  Honorary locals Spiritual Rez are gonna be blowing the roof off the place as usual. As a special addition tonight they are bringing along the up and coming hip hop band Viva La Hop. This combo is going to be deadly to the dance floor at The Beach House. Trust me on this one folks, you are gonna need to call in a dancing shoe back ups for yourself.

So come on down and celebrate with a good old fashion boogie down. Face it, you owe it to yourself after the partying and work you did all summer.

P.S-I just got a call to host tonight. BAAAM. See you there.

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Delahunt Sues Government Over Medical Marijuana Permits

By Hippie

29 Aug

delahunt pot

CCT – Congressman William Delahunt’s (D-MA) long reign began with a question mark (see story below) and a disputed court decision to win his first nomination for congress in 1961, now the former Congressman is suing Massachusetts after his bid to launch three medical marijuana dispensaries was rejected by state regulators.

Known as a double-dipper, Delahunt is seeking to run dispensaries in Dennis, Mashpee and Taunton.

Delahunt also inserted earmarks for his “clients” while still sitting on congressional committee which control this matter (see link below).

Regulators say they denied his bid because it would have diverted excessive revenues to a management company he’s affiliated with and incorrectly suggested he had support from state Senate President Therese Murray.

The Globe reports that Delahunt’s application for the three licenses stated that the dispensary intended to give 50 percent of its revenue to a management firm that was controlled by the former congressman and his business partners.

If this stunk any more than it does I’d think we were at the Provincetown Parade. We’ve got a former politician, who opposed marijuana throughout his entire career, trying to make tons of money off of an industry he cares nothing about, suing his former employer, the government that can’t get anything right and hasn’t let one dispensary open in the two years since 63% of the people voted for it.

By all accounts the reason medical marijuana is taking so long in Massachusetts is because they wanted to make sure it was regulated in a way that was most profitable. So now, because a bunch of money hungry politicians don’t want another money hungry politician making too much money, Cape Cod won’t get two of the dispensaries it should have, and sick people aren’t getting medicine.

Look, this site is called The Real Cape because we don’t blow smoke up people’s asses. Is medical marijuana only for sick people? No, it’s a back door tactic to legalize it for everyone. That’s not the point here, the point is that in a democracy when 63% of the people vote something into law, it’s supposed to happen in a timely manner without politicians bickering over who gets the money from it.

The people of Cape Cod are getting it from one end by their government and in the other from their former congressman. They could have at least bought us dinner first.

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Labor Day Weekend – The Start Of The Real Cape Cod Summer

By Hippie

29 Aug

cookout problems

Labor Day. Such a bittersweet weekend for the tourists and summer people. It is a holiday weekend full of beach days, cookouts, boating etc. but for many of them it signifies their last weekend of the summer.

For us? It is the beginning of the best 2 months of the year on Cape Cod. Labor Day weekend is a 3 day Bon Voyage party when we say goodbye to bumper to bumper traffic, waiting an hour for a table at our favorite restaurant, and say hello to being able to take a left hand turn onto Rte. 28 in under 47 minutes.

This weekend we celebrate the welcome tranquility of going to the beach and not having sand kicked in our faces all day. Adios 80 degree weather, welcome back 70′s and sunny during the day and cool at night. There is no better feeling than the first time you pull on a pair of wool socks and throw on a hoodie to drink by the fire pit. When the coozy keeps your beer cold during the day, and your hand warm at night.

Most importantly, come Tuesday, we will be revisited by a little thing called silence.

So while the masses weep on their dashboards in six miles of bridge traffic on Monday. We will be knowingly smiling to each other in the empty aisles of Stop and Shop, internally reveling in the realization that we have our peninsula back.

Our Cape… The Real Cape.

 

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Sandwich Town Clerk Had A Few Beers And Made “Racist” Comments On Facebook

By Hippie

29 Aug

taylor white

CapeCodOnline.comGeorge Brennan – Sandwich Town Clerk Taylor White is apologizing for comments he made on social media declaring September “offend Muslims month.”

On Thursday, White admitted making the comments, saying he was responding to a news story posted on Facebook about a Vermont restaurant that is no longer advertising bacon because members of the Muslim religion find the pork product offensive. White said he found that frustrating.

“The comments were made in jest,” said White, who has since scrubbed them from his page. “I’m embarrassed for the comments and I apologize.”

It will be up to the public to decide if the comments will hurt White politically. As an elected official, there is no recourse for town officials. He was first elected in 2009, winning a three-way race for the post to finish an unexpired term. He was re-elected in 2013 when he ran unopposed.

“Do everything in your power to irritate the ‘religion of peace,’” White wrote in the post. “These people NEED to be taught a lesson!”

In a separate comment, White wrote, “I will be tossing a slab of bacon.”

White said the comments were made after having a couple of beers.

“That was my first mistake,” he said.

The comments were in “poor taste,” but not racist, he said.

An attempt to access his Facebook page on Thursday indicated it had been removed. White said he has put his social media accounts on hold, but has not removed them.

Gerry Nye, a member of the town’s Republican Town Committee, defended White.

“I’m a great believer in the First Amendment,” Nye said. “Just because he’s the town clerk doesn’t mean he’s not entitled to have an opinion.”

Democratic leaders in town reacted to White’s comments with outrage and shock.

“He has some explaining to do as a public official,” Paul Houlihan, chairman of the Sandwich Democratic Town Committee, said. “That’s offensive and it’s inappropriate.”

Lou Cerrone, another member of the Democratic board, called White’s comments “offensive on so many levels.”

“This reflects on my town and me as a resident of Sandwich,” Cerrone said. “Does he speak for the town in doing that? It implicates us all in a certain sense.”

Whenever something like this happens, all the politicians, republican or democrat, get the whole thing so wrong. Everyone is taking sides and making this an issue of whether or not he has the right to make these comments. Of course he has the right to make them, this is the United States of America, we have a little thing called free speech.

The real point that everyone dances around is that anyone not smart enough to ascertain the correct levels of risk vs. reward in a case like this, is simply not fit for a leadership role in our government. If you are not working at a high enough level of consciousness to be aware of the ramifications of making these comments, and the lure of a few Facebook likes is too much for you to overcome, then you probably shouldn’t be in a position of power.

Do I think he should be removed from his position? Hell no. Let’s not be hypocritical here. If having a few too many drinks and posting inappropriate comments on Facebook were a fireable offense, we’d have a 99% unemployment rate. Luckily in a democracy we have ways of dealing with things like this, if you don’t like him, don’t vote for him next time.

As far as the actual Facbook posts? It IS insane that a restaurant is not advertising pork because they are scared to offend Muslims, but it’s in Vermont. That makes it about as surprising as that old dude from Duck Dynasty in Louisiana being homophobic. Save your ammo Taylor, on the Vermont crazy scale, this is about a 3 out of 10.

The real problem here is that the comments weren’t very funny. If you come up with something hilarious here, then it’s obvious you are joking and all is forgiven. If you are trying to be funny, the #1 rule is to, you know, be funny. Without a certain level of irony, comedy can be mistaken for reality, especially with the written word.

It’s like that episode of Seinfeld when Jerry thinks his dentist converted to Judaism just for the jokes. He tells the Rabbi he’s not offended as a Jew, he’s offended as a comedian. Well, I’m not offended by Taylor White as a citizen…

P.S. If you can’t figure out which person in the above photo got drunk and made racist comments on Facebook, here’s a hint; It’s not the brown one.

P.P.S. You have to own it Taylor, don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining. Calling September “offend a Muslim month” is racist, it may be a joke, but it’s a racist one. I am not offended by the joke in the least, I like jokes, but telling us it’s not racist means you aren’t very intelligent. Not the best thing for an elected official to expose.

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The Shark Attack Shot – Tourists Would Buy 8 Million Of These This Weekend

By Hippie

28 Aug

I have a feeling that we are all thinking the same thing right about now and it’s “I wish that chick would get attacked by a shark ASAP.” Good lord, is she living proof that it doesn’t matter how annoying you are if you are hot or what?

shark

Did you know that AAA predicts that 875,822 Massachusetts residents will travel this weekend? Where do you think most of those people are going? Hey Cape Bartenders, learn this drink by Friday night and you’ll all be millionaires come Monday.

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The “Shark” That Shut Down Duxbury Was Actually A Sunfish

By Hippie

28 Aug

sunfish duxbury

CBS – Beaches in Marshfield were reopened after a shark sighting could not be confirmed Wednesday.

The beaches near Foster Avenue were cleared out after someone reported a fin thrashing above the water about 100 yards offshore.

The Marshfield Harbormaster tells WBZ-TV’s Jim Armstrong that he is confident the sighting off Sunrise Beach was a large sunfish and not a shark.

A boater spotted a large sunfish in the area after the beaches were evacuated.

I love the smell of Sunfish in the morning, smells like… victory.

We received quite a bit of hate mail after we pointed out the fact that Duxbury was a bunch of wusses for closing their beach for one little shark. I almost started feeling bad for them and was thinking that maybe I was being a little harsh on the poor little things. They don’t see many Great Whites and maybe I was wrong to make fun of their fear driven over reaction. As someone recovering from irrational shark fear should I have been more sympathetic to our nervous nelly neighbors to the north?

NOPE! Vindication is mine! Turns out it wasn’t even a shark. Hey Duxbury what’s next, are you gonna evacuate the whole town because of a squirrel sighting? Do you guys cancel school because of rain? Kind of embarrassing to shut down your ocean because of a fish so harmless they named little kids sailboats after it. Hey, better safe than sorry though. Have fun in your bubble while we play water polo matches against Jaws and his buddies vacationing down here on The Cape.

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We May Have Identified The Chief Of The Cape Cod Fun Police

By Hippie

28 Aug

heritage

CapeCodOnline.com - A planned aerial adventure park at Heritage Museums & Gardens, complete with zip lines, has some neighbors reaching new heights of frustration.

At a meeting Wednesday night inside the Round Barn at Heritage, about 60 people, many of them neighbors, listened to Ellen Spear, president and CEO, unveil plans for reconfiguring roads near the entrance to the museum’s parking lot.

But it’s a suspected shift by Heritage from a cultural icon — known for its rhododendrons, art and car collection — to what some are describing as a fast-paced amusement park with the addition of the aerial adventure park that got the attention of neighbors like Don Stainbrook of nearby Faunce Mountain Road.

“None of the neighbors I’ve talked to want anything like that,” Stainbrook, who has lived in the peaceful shadows of Heritage since 1978, said before last night’s meeting. “Try to imagine the demographic that’s going to be attracted to an aerial amusement park.”

The adventure park, modeled after one in Bridgeport, Conn., would include zip lines, rope bridges and tree climbing attractive to children 10 and older on four acres of the 100 owned by Heritage, Spear said. The concept has been approved by the Sandwich Historic District Committee and is scheduled to open Memorial Day weekend, she said.

Heritage officials traveled to the adventure park in Connecticut, some even trying the attractions, to make sure it would be in keeping with the quiet, tranquil surroundings of the museums and gardens, Charles Robinson, chairman of the board of trustees, said.

Trees won’t be taken down and none of the structures will rise above the tree line, Spear said.

Several business leaders praised Heritage, and Yvonne Anderson, who lives on Grove Street, said despite the traffic, something like the aerial adventure park is needed in town. “We don’t have that many things for families to do,” Anderson said.

Is it just me or is “Try to imagine the demographic that’s going to be attracted to an aerial amusement park” the most pretentious, fun policey thing in the world to say? I have been “trying to imagine the demographic” all morning and all I can come up with is kids. Is Don Stainbrook just openly admitting he hates children? Or does he genuinely think that the riff raff have an affinity for aerial amusement parks? Like, does he think that street gangs like to hang around zip lines selling heroin or something?

God forbid we actually give kids something to do on Cape Cod besides drinking in the woods. The next thing you know there will be actual fun being had right here on this retirement peninsula. Hey kids, get off my lawn! (And by lawn, I mean land that’s kinda near my house that I do not own)

P.S. Yvonne Anderson is officially nominated for a Real Cape logical thinker award, unfortunately we don’t hand out many of them these days.

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Barnstable Seeks Flash Mob Dancers – Is Obviously Confused About Flash Mobs

By Hippie

27 Aug

flash mob

CCT – The Town of Barnstable is seeking residents and visitors interested in shaking their booty in celebration of the town’s 375th. Participants of all ages are encouraged to be part of a celebratory flash mob dance. The 8-minute interactive dance will be performed at the Founder’s Day Picnic on Sunday, September 21 on the Hyannis Village Green on Main Street.

The Town of Barnstable 375 Committee is hoping for 375 dancers. Volunteer Michele Colley is coordinating and choreographing the performance.

Anyone interested in participating must either register at a rehearsal or email Michele Colley at macmoves@comcast.net.

Umm… hey Barnstable? I don’t claim to be an expert or anything, but I’m like 387% sure that this is not how a Flash Mob works. I’m pretty sure a Flash Mob is supposed to take unsuspecting people by surprise. Therefore, having articles in large publications that specify the exact date and location of a Flash Mob, inherently immediately nullifies its status as a Flash Mob.

Your picnic sounds fun, and I’m sure that your dance recital will be great, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that it is indeed a DANCE RECITAL, not a Flash Mob. To recap…

  • Flash Mob = surprises unsuspecting people unaware of what is happening
  • Dance Recital = takes place at a publicized time and location with an audience fully aware of what is going on

P.S. This is great news for people that are interested in “shaking their booty” at a town picnic huh? How often does an opportunity for that segment of the general population come along? Once, maybe twice a decade?

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Did Meghan Trainor Plagiarize “All About That Bass” From A Korean Dude, or Phish?

By Hippie

27 Aug

meghan-trainor

Buzzfeed is at it again. One of our most popular posts ever was a correction of one of their articles about Cape Cod. I think it’s time we dismantle another one of their pieces of “journalism” now that they are taking shots at our Cape Cod native daughter.

Meghan Trainor’s “All About That Bass” is currently sitting at number 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. According to the liner notes, the song was co-written by Meghan Trainor and Grammy Award-nominated songwriter Kevin Kadish. It’s recently been pointed out, however, that “All About That Bass” sounds suspiciously a lot like a song by a South Korean group called Koyote.

Here are the two songs…

Do they sound alike? Yeah a little bit, the melodies are similar but for starters that Korean song is in a completely different language.

In all seriousness though, I’m calling bullshit on the plagiarism angle. I’m willing to bet that if you go back to old school Jamaican/Caribbean music, even before reggae, you could find a bunch of songs that sound just like these two.

Sure, it’s a rip off, but it’s a rip off of a rip off of a rip off, all music is. That progression in that style of music is like a 1-4-5 chord progression in Rock and Roll, it’s the basis of a million songs.

Now we get to the real interesting twist. Our friend Dennis from Cape Cod Phish Heads alerted us to this article and here is why…

Interestingly though, Joo Young Hoon and Meghan Trainor both might have taken inspiration from Phish. The band released a song in 1989 that is also pretty similar.

Now we are cooking with gas! How hilarious is it that these two massively popular songs may have been ripped off from one of the most ridiculous Phish songs ever written? If I know Phish like I think I do, there will be a Contact>All About That Bass>Contact on fall tour sometime, or at least a tease.

P.S. The absolute, hands down, best part of this entire article is that this is Joo Young Hoon, the guy who wrote the Korean song…

long duck dong

Get the fuck outta here! That’s not Joo Young Hoon, that’s Long Duck Dong! Is Meghan Trainors next song gonna be called “No More Yanky My Wanky”?!

long duck dong2

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