Sandwich Fired A Teacher Because He Questioned Religion In A YouTube Video?

By Hippie

23 Jul

constitution – A former substitute teacher at the Oak Ridge School in Sandwich reached a settlement with the town last week over his claims he was wrongly fired last winter for posting a video mocking religion on his personal website.

In December, Jonathan Hurley, 32, was fired three weeks into an open-ended substitute position after school officials learned of a music video for a song Hurley co-wrote called “That Doesn’t Make Sense,” which was posted on Hurley’s personal website.

Though the video mocks various religious beliefs, Hurley, a professional musician, describes it as “lighthearted.” It is still posted on his website,

“I was surprised by the reaction,” Hurley said Tuesday.

In addition to being fired, Hurley also was “blacklisted” from the Sandwich Public Schools, he said. He was no longer eligible for other substitute positions, including a long-term position he had wanted.

“I didn’t know what to do, but I thought that my rights had been violated,” said Hurley, who moved from Los Angeles to Buzzards Bay last year to become a teacher.

In January, Hurley contacted the ACLU of Massachusetts, which reviewed his case and then approached the town with concerns over Hurley’s termination, said Sarah Wunsch, an ACLU of Massachusetts staff attorney. The ACLU of Massachusetts worked with the law firm of Fish & Richardson on the case.

Adam Kessel, an attorney with Fish & Richardson, which handled the case pro bono, said this was “a case of someone being disciplined for exercising their freedom of speech rights.”

Referring to the music video, Wunsch said she could see how “somebody might find it offensive,” but “offensiveness is not the First Amendment standard.”

Holy crap, what year is it? My question here is this, it takes more than one person to fire and blacklist a teacher right? So how is it possible that nobody in this chain of events questioned this decision? You’d think at least one person in the Sandwich School system would have been like… “Ummm, has anyone considered that document written a while ago? What’s it called? Oh yeah… THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES”.

I’m pretty sure you could tell this story to a 2nd grader and they would be like, “Wait, what about freedom of religion? Oh, and freedom of speech? I’m pretty sure he can’t be fired for this”. I don’t know about you but I’m a little nervous that the people in charge of educating our children don’t know about the basic fundamentals that this country was built on.

Hey Sandwich, read a history book before you fire someone will ya?

P.S. Here’s the offensive video:

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The Fun Police Shut Down South Cape Beach

By Hippie

23 Jul

beach – The summer has gotten off to a rocky start with a rash of vandalism and nighttime parties at South Cape Beach State Park, prompting management to close the beach to visitors after 8 PM for the remainder of the season.

The gates to the park have traditionally been open for nighttime visitors after the park stops charging for beach parking at 5 PM.

The new gate closing policy took effect after the July Fourth holiday weekend.

John J. Singleton, facilities supervisor for the Waquoit Bay National Estuarine Research Reserve, which oversees the park for the Massachusetts Department of Conservation and Recreation, said the new policy has been very effective in curtailing rowdy after-dark behavior at the beach.

“We cater to people during the day, not people at night. Closing the gates at 8 PM is the best thing we’ve ever done,” he said.

At the Tuesday, July 15, meeting of the South Cape State Beach Advisory Committee at Mashpee Town Hall, Mr. Singleton described some of the hooliganism that occurred at the park earlier this season.

Mr. Singleton also reported that he came across a full-fledged party, complete with a disc jockey with generator-powered speakers, set up on the beach one evening.

Oh my god! I for one can not believe this. I’ve heard whispers and horror stories about this kind of thing before, but never this close to home. I can not believe that right here on our own peninsula, right under our noses, there has been actual… real… full fledged… HOOLIGANISM?!?!?

(quick press play)

Hey you know what people did at South Cape Beach at night in the ’70′s? They partied. Hey you know what people did at South Cape Beach at night in the ’80′s? They partied. Hey you kno… Alright you get the point.

The Fun Police should just cut through the chase and shut the whole world down at night. Seriously, just close earth at 6 p.m. Sorry folks, but the roads, the woods, the beaches… all closed. Earth will re open in the morning, but until then just lay in bed and stare at your idiot box until 7 a.m. You all just can’t be trusted to use earth at night, sorry.

P.S. Whoever threw that party with the DJ, a generator and speakers?  How about a heads up email next time?

P.P.S. Did you know that in other vacation destination areas they actually let people party on their beaches? Insane right? Don’t they know the best way to attract visitors is to frown upon fun and not allow them to do things they can’t do at home?

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Pink Power Ranger + Rando Watching Karate = the last 3 days

By Glitter Ginger

23 Jul


I had a weird weekend. And by ‘weird’ I don’t mean what I’m sure you’re all thinking; that I got white girl wasted and like fell out of a tree or something. Well, that did happen actually, and in addition I somehow managed to lose my car, break my shoe and wake up with a frog.. but that’s not why my weekend was weird. I did a lot of self-reflecting due to the fact that I have some family shit going on, I’m super stressed at work (yes, I have a full time job outside of talking shit on the internet) and also I cut ties with someone I really didn’t want to. So what did all of these events lead me to realize? Buckle up and pay attention ..

An act of kindness, no matter how small, should never be underestimated or wasted. And also that you shouldn’t share cell phone cases, secrets, trust, a bed, or for fucks sake a freakin’ turkey sandwich with someone you don’t trust.  #TrueTalk

Before I get all philosophical on you, I’ll begin by telling you that this revelation came to me while smoking pot in some couples house I had never met before, chugging mudslides and staring out their living room window like a fucking weirdo. It all started because I was 1 – stoned off my ass, but 2 – because I was with my “little brother” who had taken me out all day in order to cheer me up. He doesn’t tell me these things, but I know he worries about me. Not because he like, cares, but because he just really wants me to stop sleeping with his friends. And also I usually pay for stuff.

Anyways – mid blunt-pass, I watched this couple’s elderly neighbor hand pick and plume a bouquet of flowers from his personal garden, arrange them in a vase, and walk them over just to put a smile on her face. That simple gesture, that took him no more than 10 minutes, completely made her weekend and I’m sure put a smile on her face for the next week when she walks into her kitchen to see freshly cut flowers on her table.

Bravo, Falmouth Harbor Romeo – you taught us all a lesson on Sunday afternoon - and that lesson is how much I love flowers and mudslides.

The other revelation I came to this weekend?

I fucking miss the ’90s.

Like, a lot. Seriously, though – what was better than the ’90s? I mean, I guess the ’70s or ’80s depending on what you’re into.. but shit, I’d give at least 6 of my toes to bring some of my favorite things from back in the day around again. Skip it? VHS’s? Paulie fucking pocket? SAND ART?! Think you can cook a lean cuisine in an Easy Bake Oven? I just feel like I fit in better then..


 This picture has absolutely nothing to do with anything in this post. I included it because it’s hands down the most random thing I’ve seen all day. Outside of the woman next to me on the train ride home watching karate videos on her phone.  

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Cape Cod Tweet Of The Day – Plane Runs Into Trees In Chatham

By Hippie

22 Jul

You couldn’t pay me to get in a plane that small. They always say the same thing whenever you get into a small plane like that and it inevitably starts shaking violently.

“Oh, don’t worry, we could land this thing on the highway if we had to.”

Oh really? How and why do you know that? How often do you need to land one of these on the highway for that to be the go to speech when you hit turbulence? Why should that make me feel better anyway? Do you know what else uses highways? 18 Wheelers and Chevy Suburbans and shit. Who do you think wins a battle between a Mack truck and one of these balsa wood airplanes with a twisted up rubber band turning the prop?

I’d rather put on some flippers and play in a water polo match with a bunch of gray seals off the coast of Nantucket than get in one of those remote control Kennedy killers.


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Cape Cod Photo Of The Day – How To Avoid Shark Attacks

By Hippie

22 Jul


This sign is awesome. It evokes images of people just frolicking around with seals in the ocean. Like if this sign didn’t exist would people be organizing 4×100 butterfly races between humans and seals and shit? Before they put the sign up were the local kids always playing Marco Polo with sea lions? Just a preposterous sign, it might as well say, “Don’t swim near fat people with short arms”.

I think this may have given me a great idea though. We could start having swimming with the seals tours, like how Sea World will let you swim with the dolphins. Tourists would sign up not knowing they were about to get their leg bit off by a Great White and we could all just laugh and laugh at the dumb washashores with one leg!



P.S. Just thought of a great new insult. Someone pisses you off? “Oh go swim near a seal will ya?”

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Cape Cod Market Basket Is Out Of Produce – Wait, What?

By Hippie

22 Jul

market basket – Loading her car with groceries Monday afternoon outside Market Basket, East Falmouth resident Silvia Carnevali had an unexpected trip to take.

“I am going right to Stop & Shop,” Carnevali said as she left the store with her 9-year-old son and his friend.

Carnevali hoped to buy her produce at the Market Basket, which she shops at about once a week. But with large parts of the fruit and vegetable sections empty or diminished, Carnevali said she was forced to go elsewhere for her produce.

The East Falmouth woman said she hadn’t heard about the corporate and family drama at Market Basket when she showed up to shop Monday. She asked a cashier about the lack of products and said she was told staff did not know when the supplies would be replenished.

“The store is kind of a mess,” she said.

The shortages have been caused by an ongoing feud within the family that owns the grocery chain, and employees’ efforts to try to force the return of a popular CEO who was ousted last month.

Thousands of employees and supporters rallied Monday at the company’s headquarters Tewksbury, calling for Arthur T. Demoulas to be reinstated as CEO. It was the second such rally in less than a week.

Let me get this straight. Market Basket, a chain of 71 stores, fired their CEO and now the store on Cape Cod is out of zucchini and broccoli? How does that make any sense whatsoever? Was part of Arthur T. Demoulas’ responsibilities as CEO to personally deliver produce to the Sagamore store?

No wonder there are rallies being held to put the guy back in charge. Whoever they replaced him with must be a grade A asshole. I’m not a supermarket expert by any stretch, but I’m pretty sure if your CEO sucks so bad that people can’t buy fruit at your stores anymore, it might be time to re think your hiring process.

P.S. I have to confess I’ve never been to a Market Basket. I always got the feeling it was like an Ocean State Job Lot for groceries, like they sell mac and cheese that survived a warehouse fire and shit. Am I wrong on that? Is the place a legit grocery store for normal people?

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True Talk Tuesday: Sexting & Break Ups

By Glitter Ginger

22 Jul


Both questions this week happen to have come from men. Neither of which I know personally. Which makes me happy because they seem like fucking weirdos.

Since your totes a celeb now, will you accidentally or drunkenly be posting any nude selfies? P.S. Please dont let Hippie do that.

Dear Chester-the-Molester,

Let me first start by saying that if you think I’m a “celeb”, you need to get out more. I’ll then follow with why the hell do you want to see nude pictures of anyone, let alone me? Who gets off to still-frame’s? This isn’t the ’90s.

Though I once was told by a friend of mine that she’s seen “more dicks in my phone than in real life”, the answer to your question is no. I would never take a naked picture of myself for many reasons, those reasons mainly consisting of the fact that I don’t even want to see myself naked, so why would I put anyone else through that torture? Also, with my luck, that shit would be spread around faster than Hippie guzzles jack and coke’s.

Stay creepy,


Onto the next;

I’ve been dating this girl for a couple of months now but just don’t see it going anywhere. There’s nothing wrong her and she’s great, just not for me. How do I break it off without being a total dick?

Dear Forever Alone,

There’s really only one way to end this without looking like a prick, and that’s to tell her you have some sort of STD and/or you’re gay. Don’t believe me?

Trust – regardless of how you end it, homegirl WILL tell you and all her friends you’re a dick. Why? Because we can’t fathom the idea that you don’t think we’re perfect and how could you NOT want to be with us? Clearly there’s something wrong with YOU.

While I know how ridiculous that sounds, that’s the way the cookie crumbles, bro. Rejection sucks and girls need to label you a prick in order to get through the pain and heal their wounded ego. Well, that and wine. And food. And vodka. And food.

So although I’m not telling you to like, do anything rash or fall off the face of the planet, I do recommend some sort of minor injury or perhaps an STD of some sort so that you ending things is only because “you care so much and only want the best for her”. Which is basically anything other than you.

Good luck dickhead,


*Remember to submit your questions via Facebook. Everything submitted is kept anonymous and answered in a nonsensical, moronic fashion. 

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Two Men Arrested For Breaking Into Old Silver Beach Concession Stand

By Hippie

22 Jul

sour patch – Two North Falmouth men are being charged with breaking into a concession stand at Old Silver Beach where they allegedly stole candy, among other items, according to court records.

James J. Pierson, 45, of 246 North Falmouth Highway, and Brian Bortz, 46, of 2 Trickett St., pleaded not guilty to charges of breaking and entering, larceny from a building and destruction of property valued at more than $250 in Falmouth District Court Friday.

Pierson was held in lieu of $2,500 cash bail. Bail for Bortz was set at $1,000.

The two men allegedly broke a window at the Old Silver concession stand and stole candy and other items, records show. The theft was caught on surveillance tape, which led police to Pierson and Bortz, records show.

When police arrested Bortz in a tent behind Pierson’s apartment, he allegedly had Sour Patch Kids and Twizzlers inside with him, according to court records.

Are we sure we have the ages right in this story? 45 and 46? Seems more like we just read about an 11 and 12 year old. One dude was arrested in a tent with Sour Patch Kids and Twizzlers? Was he reading a Super Man comic by flashlight too?

Holy shit man you’re 46 years old, time to stop breaking into concession stands, stealing candy and hiding in your tent. Grow up, steal some booze and cigarettes from a convenience store and hide out in some sleazy hotel room will ya?

Next week we’ll probably read about this dynamic duo being arrested for stealing their dad’s Playboys and kicking little Sally from down the street in the shins.

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The Real Cape Music Festival Is Less Than Two Weeks Away – Tickets On Sale Now!

By Hippie

21 Jul


(poster design by Joseph Vincuilla)


The Real Cape Music Festival is less than 2 weeks away! Early bird pre sale tix are moving fast and will be gone soon so get yours today to save some money before the price goes up. We’ve got tons of high energy bands lined up for the day. There’s something for everybody on this lineup and we will have two stages to make sure the music never stops.

The festival will be held at The Cape Cod Fairgrounds (formerly The Barnstable County Fairgrounds). Pixy 103 will be on the scene and their DJ MattyB will be MCing the day. Matty has been a Real Cape fan from day one so it was a no brainer to get him on board. Dirty Water TV will be filming an episode all day and night so be sure to keep an eye out for their cameras as well.

We will also have some live performance art by local graffiti artists and glass blowers, tons of great food vendors and there will be some surprise musical performances around the grounds throughout the day. Did I mention the mechanical shark? Yes, we have a mechanical shark, because why not? If you aren’t getting the basic idea yet, what I am saying is that The Real Cape Music Festival is going to be a festival in the truest sense of the word, with all kinds of weirdness all over the place.

So mark it down and grab your tickets early, we are going to be making history on August 2nd at The Cape Cod Fairgrounds!

Please check out the festival website HERE

Keep up with the fest on the Facebook event page HERE

Follow the fest on Twitter HERE

Check out our insane VIP packages HERE

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Today In Cape Cod History 1919 – Germans Attack 3 Miles Off Orleans – U.S. Planes Throw Wrenches

By Hippie

21 Jul


CCT – ORLEANS, Mass., July 21, 1918–A German submarine attacked the tug Perth Amboy of the Lehigh Valley Railroad and her four barges three miles off this town on the southeastern elbow of Cape Cod at 10:30 A.M. today…

It is reported locally that in their haste to take off to repeal the u-boat, the flight crew from the Chatham Seaplane Base forgot to load any bombs aboard the planes, and ended up throwing their wrenches and other equipment at the escaping German submarines.

Holy crap! Germans were only 3 miles from The Cape in WWI? I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t actually come ashore. It seems like Cape Cod didn’t have the best defense system in 1919. Forgetting to put the bombs on your plane before a bombing mission has to be pretty embarrassing. Although you can’t knock the hustle when they started throwing wrenches and shit, gotta run what ya brung right?

At least if the Germans decided to invade Cape Cod now, it would take them forever to find a place they could come ashore, since 90% of our beaches are closed because of Piping Plovers. An endangered bird’s nest is a better defense than planes with no bombs on them.

P.S. Good practice for the Germans though right? You can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bomb.

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