Cape Cod Craigslist Ad Of The Day – We Need 100 Pairs Speedos!

By Hippie

21 Oct

craigslist

CL – We need 100 Pairs of Speedos! (Plymouth to Ptown)

compensation: 5
Hello,Odd request we know…. but we need 100 pairs of Speedos collected in one month for a project. You can donate, or sell them to us.

Art/History project here. Any size, any condition. Will pick up!

Tyr, Speedo, any lycra swim trunk/briefs

Just a bit of friendly advice for whoever posted this ad. I’m no expert on Speedo culture, but I’m going to take a wild guess and say that you will probably have better luck if you focus more on the Ptown end of your target area. 

P.S. By “Art/History project” they mean artistically placing your old Speedos on their heads and sniffing the history of your nuts.

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Announcement About Our Wailers Show In December

By Hippie

21 Oct

wailersposter

So we’ve had a ton of people come up to us since we announced The Wailers show and ask why we are promoting a show at Pufferbellies. Many expressed skepticism about the venue choice so we thought we should explain it. Here’s the deal…

We needed a big venue. Pufferbellies is big, it has a great sound system and is an awesome place to see a show. Yes we know that it has a bad reputation but here is the thing, the place is fantastic for live music. Sure, sometimes the people are questionable, but this is a Real Cape event. We leased the entire place for this night and only people with tickets to The Wailers will be in attendance. The place is ours for the evening. The Wailers go on at 8 p.m. and besides Selectah Niko opening, they are the only thing happening there that night.

When we did this same thing with Keller Williams this summer it was an absolute blast. Hundreds of great people came together and the vibe was super friendly and everyone partied their faces off. It was like a smaller version of The Real Cape Music Festival. It may sound cheesy but our readers are fucking awesome, and this show is going to be full of our readers, all like minded, good people, that aren’t afraid to have a good time. We are building something here, and so far it’s been perfect, this shouldn’t be any different.

In case you haven’t heard yet, this is a once in a lifetime show, it’s not just any Wailers show. In honor of the 30th anniversary of the release of the iconic “Legend” LP, they will be performing the album in it’s entirety!

Everybody loves reggae so you should probably get your tickets in advance. The show is 18+. CLICK HERE to buy them online, or you can get them with no service fees at Mocean in Mashpee Commons. Spinnaker Records on Main St. in Hyannis, The Dead Zone in S. Yarmouth or The Beach House in North Falmouth.

In case you haven’t heard them in a while, here’s how The Wailers are sounding these days…

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VIDEO: Two Great Whites Thrashing Just Off Shore – Katharine’s Getting Laid!

By Hippie

20 Oct

Katharine you filthy minx! That’s what you’ve been up to swimming all around Cape Cod Bay. You’ve been getting your freak on! It’s like when a couple buys a new house and the first thing they do is have sex in every room. Katharine and her dude just discovered Cape Cod bay and he was like “let’s do it over in Sandwich, then in Wellfleet, and Dennis, and…”

You can’t knock the hustle!

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Barnstable 8th Grade MCAS Math Scores Plummet – Batten Down The Hatches!

By Hippie

20 Oct

mcas

CCT – Barnstable eighth graders’ mathematics and science/tech engineering MCAS scores plummeted this year. Only 41% of the students scored advanced or proficient on the 2014 math test, down from 74% in 2013. 47% of eighth graders scored advanced/proficient on the science and tech engineering test, down from 77% last year.

This exact same thing happens somewhere every single year. Whenever and wherever it does the reaction is inevitably the same. The sky is falling! Fire the teachers! Change the test! What happens when they grow up and can’t calculate the tip at the 99? We’re ALL GONNNA DIE!!!

Everyone needs to just chill out. The schools are doing the same thing they did last year that worked just fine, there’s no need to freak out and change everything. There’s a simple explanation for this that nobody wants to talk about…

This year’s crop of 8th graders are dumber than last years.

It’s not the teachers fault, it’s not society’s fault, it’s the kids fault. Sorry, I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s true.

It happens in every other facet of life and we don’t go into denial about it. This years football team isn’t as good as last years? No biggie, we just don’t have the athletes we had last year. This years chorus is a little off key? That’s fine, it’s just because we don’t have as many gifted singers as last year. This years MCAS scores are down? KILL THE ENTIRE SCHOOL STAFF, BURN THE BOOKS AND START OVER!

Nope, we just don’t have the brainpower we had last year. It’s not that big a deal, we need fry cooks at McDonald’s just as much as we need doctors. We need ditch diggers just as much as we need architects. We need internet bloggers just as much as we need real writers.

Listen parents, I know this can be a tough pill to swallow, but look at Forrest Gump’s mother. She knew her kid was a moron and she didn’t complain once. She took matters into her own hands and banged the principal. Forrest turned out to be a millionaire so don’t worry, there’s definitely hope for your kids too. Just don’t be stingy in the sack.

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Edaville Railroad Is Getting $25M In Improvements

By Hippie

20 Oct

edaville

BizJournals – When we visited Edaville USA last month, the place was buzzing with activity — and not just from the tourists. Along the main entranceway into the theme park, sign after sign explained why we were seeing all this construction. There will be a “Thomas Land,” dedicated to the storybook train, for example, as well as a water park, a Dickens-themed village, a pirate ride and a princess area.

The father in front of me scanned the signs as he walked toward the ticket booth, and then turned to his wife to say: “You know, they were going to shut this place down for good a couple years ago.”

Not anymore. As evidenced by all the work happening at the Carver theme park these days, Edaville is here for the long haul. This is a credit to owner Jon Delli Priscoli, who tells me he’s pumping $25 million into the property over the course of several years for more rides and attractions. (Yes, there will be ticket increases coming as well, to coincide with the opening of Thomas Land next year.) But Delli Priscoli’s not just spending his money on the park. He’s also spending most of his time there, too… more

I don’t have any jokes for this. Just wanted to point out that not long ago Edaville was for sale and there was already a plan in place for a subdivision. Now, with a little bit of effort it is becoming an even bigger asset to the community than it’s ever been.

It turns out expanding fun places that give young people a place to go is a good idea… I’m looking at you Heritage Garden haters.

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Counterfeit Money Circulated In Orleans

By Hippie

20 Oct

counterfeit money

CCT – An Orleans merchant discovered on Sunday that they had taken a counterfeit $20 bill as payment Saturday night. According to a release from the Orleans Police Department the bill lacked a watermark, thread or a shadow image.

The serial number on the bogus bill was MB 46325080 B, according to Lt. Kevin Higgins. The Orleans Police Department maintains a master list of serials from counterfeit currency discovered in town. This most recent $20 bill has been added to that list.

Merchants are encouraged to look closely at bills they think may be counterfeit. On the “Know Your Money” page, the Secret Service suggests comparing a suspicious bill to a bill of the same denomination and series to identify differences.

What’s with all the fake shit these days? This morning we had a doctor selling fake weed, now we’ve got fake money circulating? There’s people with fake hair, fake boobs, fake handbags, fake sunglasses, fake jeans, fake jewelry, fake everything.

It was one thing when people were superficial with real stuff, but what the hell is the point of being superficial with fake stuff? Is that even being superficial anymore? I think we need a new term for people who are materialistic but only have fake crap, they don’t deserve to be called superficial. Let’s call them…

Fakerficial.

“That chick with her fake Louis Vuitton bag, costume jewelry, and hair extensions is all sorts of fakerficial.”

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Dennis Medical Marijuana Company Fires Doctor For Selling Weed To Patients

By Hippie

20 Oct

canna care

CapeCodOnline.com – The owners of Canna Care Docs, a nationwide business that specializes in certifying patients for medical marijuana use, on Thursday fired Dr. Walter Richter for allegedly selling the drug to patients during their visits to the company’s South Dennis office.

Canna Care Docs isn’t making any statements about the situation, and Richter, 62, says he didn’t do anything wrong and was simply trying to help patients.

Related Links
More about medical marijuana on Cape Cod
Under state medical marijuana regulations, doctors can issue certificates to qualifying patients for medical marijuana but they can’t supply them with the drug.

Patients must grow their own marijuana for personal use or connect with a “caregiver” who can provide marijuana-based products, at least until state-licensed medical marijuana dispensaries open.

In an interview with the Times on Sunday, Richter said the drugs he has been supplying to patients from the South Dennis office since May are a combination of Marinol, a prescription drug that contains synthetic THC (the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana), and CBD (cannabidiol) from the industrial hemp plant, a cannabis plant with low levels of THC.

Yes! Nice work doc! Champion of the people! The state is acting like assholes and taking forever to institute a program that Massachusetts residents voted overwhelmingly for nearly two years ago? Take matters into your own hands and get the weed to the patients! You my friend get a a Capey award for acti… WAAAAIIIIT A MINUTE…

Did they just say he sold them fake weed?

Dude. What are you a Jamaican guy at Hempfest selling oregano to teenagers? These are medical patients, not band geeks ordering K2 out of the back of a High Times. What a dick. How much of a dick you ask? Well…

Turns out this is the same guy we wrote about a while back that was arrested for civil rights violations and threatening to commit murder because he yelled anti gay epithets at a bunch of gay artists and said he was going to murder all of them.

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking this guy might not be the stereotypical, hippie, weed doctor we all know and love. Might be time for a career change Dr. Richter. Maybe staff doctor for the Hitler youth or something?

Provincetown Marijuana Doctor Threatens To Murder Everyone

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