And So It Begins… Another Summer On Cape Cod

By Hippie

22 May

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Ahhh… The Friday of Memorial Day Weekend on Cape Cod. The idle of diesel engines in the bar parking lots delivering kegs of beer, the sound of vinyl covers being yanked off of the grills, the angst wafting in the air above the bustling Stop and Shop parking lots. It’s a special time of year on the Cape.

Today we say goodbye to quick trips into town and hello to 10 minute waits to take a left onto Main st. We officially put our fleece ear muffs into storage and hook up the hose to the rubber ear muffs on our outboard motors, the gargling sound of the engine running for the first time reverberating in our once frozen bones.

As the march of the steel penguins lines up at the bridges and we retreat into our backyards, coolers in tow, we all feel that same trepidation. Unless you have lived here year round you can never know the mixed emotions Cape Codders get at the start of a summer season. For “them” things are about to get easier, for “us” things are about to get busier. It’s time to go to work.

Just try to remember one thing this weekend, when you get cut off by a car with New York plates, when you are in the weeds and some asshole asks if you have gluten free stuffed quahogs, when every one of your seasonal clients expects a spring cleanup in their yard yesterday, when some rookie asshole shakes off their towel up wind from you and covers you with sand, when some lady in Jorts asks your band to play Margaritaville, when a 16 year old in a $180,000 Range Rover steals your parking spot, just remember… Summer people, Some are not.

Also remember that each and every one of these tourists are spending money. Our plumbers are fixing their outside showers, our drivers are delivering their pizza, our stores are selling them beer, our restaurant owners are catching up on the bills that stacked up all winter. So smile and be nice, wait until they are out of ear shot, and then joke to your friend that the ’80’s called and they want their fanny pack back.



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There’s A Must See Art Opening In Provincetown Tonight

By Hippie

22 May

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From the Searching For The Motherlode Facebook Page-

A group exhibit of paintings, prints and sculpture representing a cross section of styles and eras from Provincetowns’ storied history, vibrant present and bright future. In “Searching for the Motherlode”, we collected an eclectic group of artists and their work and are presenting it pop up style for 4 days only over the Memorial Day weekend.

The exhibit is curated by Motherlode.tv and features the work of Vicky Tomayko, Joey Mars, Cassandra Complex, Bob Gasoi, Richard Pepitone, Karen Cappotto, Silas Finch, Andrew Jacob, Michael Koehler, Dominique Pecce, Matty Briggs, Jessica Teffer, Adam O’Day, and Brooks Whelan Sr.

The Camp Provincetown Pop-Up Gallery is inspired by the 100th anniversary of the Provincetown performance of Neith Boyce’s 1915 play Constancy which ushered in a new era of revolutionary art, theater, politics, books, music and film at the tip of Cape Cod. The exhibit opens Friday May 22nd at 7pm with the artists reception. The exhibit will be up for 4 days only ending Monday evening of the Memorial Day weekend 2015.

Friday, 7 pm – Woodman/Shimko Gallery, 398 Commercial Street, Provincetown, MA 02657

If you are anywhere near the tip, I highly suggest you get to this opening. When I saw the list of featured artists I went temporarily blind as if I had just stared into an eclipse, that’s how good it is.

This definitely isn’t going to be your grandma’s art show full of Adirondack chair and Beach Plum watercolors. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, this just ain’t it. This is the good stuff, the edgy stuff, the stuff that makes you feel a little nervous when you look at it and doesn’t apologize for it. Dare I say, the REAL stuff.

We were lucky enough to get a few teaser pics of a few of the works being shown. These are a tiny slice of what will be there, but will give you a sense of how eclectic a mix of styles and mediums will be represented…

Join The Facebook Event Page By Clicking Here

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Go.



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Insane Tony Here To Tell You Not To Miss Joey Batts And Mighty Ceej Tonight At Grumpy’s

By Insane Tony

22 May

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We all ask ourselves at some point in our lives, “who is my best friend”? Well I’ve figured it out for you, Joey Batts is the answer. On Friday, Joey Batts and Them make their first trip to our great peninsula all the way from Connecticut to do their thing at Grumpy’s Pub. We met Joey last year at The New England Music Awards and it was a bro-mance from the begging. This year at NEMA I got to see him open the show with his band, and they did not disappoint.

Their second album “Fandalize” was released a few months ago and it didn’t take long to catch fire. The first single “Party at my place” is a great party rocking theme song to kick off the summer. Then came the next single “#Bestie”, and this one took the band to the next level. It was picked up my ESPN and seemed to be everywhere.

Along with these renegades from Connecticut, a Real Cape favorite, Mighty Ceej will be doing his thing on Friday as well. Ceej and myself have been doing shows together for close to 10 years. I have seen him grow as a musician and every time I see him perform live, he blows me away with his energy. He is currently in the middle of recording another album which will immediately go into heavy rotation in the Insane Tony mobile. Ceej is also gonna be kicking the night off by spinning some dance jams. So be sure to join us at Grumpy’s in Falmouth for a night of hip hop and partying, just make sure you are ready to take a selfie with your new bestie.



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Cape Cod Virtual Yard Sale Ad Of The Day – Purple Pleasure Adult Sling

By Hippie

21 May

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I have a question. How does someone not know if they are “adventurous” enough to enjoy a purple pleasure sling? That’s a pretty specialized piece of equipment, it’s not like buying a pair of pants and then realizing that they just don’t fit right. Like, I know I’m not a leopard print Speedo guy. I don’t need to buy one and try it to make sure. Basically, if you have a drawer or shelf dedicated to flavored lubricants and sex toys, go ahead and get yourself a purple pleasure sling. If not, save your money.

One thing I can tell you for sure is if I did buy the purple pleasure sling and decided it wasn’t for me, I would eat the $50. Nothing like telling 30 thousand or so people on the internet that while you thought you were a freak in the sack, sadly, it turns out that you aren’t. Might as well wear a T-Shirt that says “Missionary With The Lights Off And Socks On Is How I Roll”.

P.S. You know you want to Google those missing instructions. Go ahead and do it.



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What’s With All The Memorial Day Shaming On Facebook?

By Hippie

21 May

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Why is it that every time someone posts something on social media about a Memorial Day party, or how they are looking forward to the weekend, someone needs to post a photo of a soldiers casket or a child weeping over a grave and tell them to remember what Memorial Day REALLY means?

Fuck off, we know what it means, we are just choosing to honor the people that fought for our freedom by exercising it in the most American way possible. By cooking dead animals over fire, drinking 8 thousand Bud Lights, and throwing ping pong balls into SOLO cups, just like Uncle Sam would want. What better way to honor fallen soldiers than by enjoying yourself and the freedom they provided you?

This holiday shaming better not become a trend. I don’t need to feel guilty because I get a great deal on a Hyandai on Washington’s birthday. What do these people expect everyone to do? Go sit and cry at Arlington National Cemetery all weekend? Where does the wet blanketing end? Are people going to start admonishing each other because they aren’t dry humping trees on Arbor Day?

Listen, I appreciate the sacrifices that soldiers have made so I can sit on my ass in my boxers all day writing pointless shit on the internet, but I didn’t start any wars, so pardon me for enjoying the weekend, if it makes you feel any better I’ll say the pledge of allegiance after every 54th beer I drink.



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Someone Left Their Fake Teeth At A Voting Booth Yesterday

By Hippie

20 May

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CBS – A Cape Cod resident cast a vote but lost their teeth on Tuesday.

Officials in the town of Brewster said that the dentures were found in a voting booth during the municipal election.

“Anyone recognize these?” the town asked in social media posts.

Fortunately, the teeth were reunited with their owner on Tuesday night.

“The dentures have been claimed,” the town posted. “Happy ending.”

And we wonder why the Fun Police have such a foothold on Cape Cod? This is our voting demographic. Turnouts were around 20% for our elections and 8% of them left their friggin’ teeth behind. The only people voting on this peninsula are still convinced Rock and Roll music is a fad.

By the way, why would anyone take their teeth out in a voting booth? We might want to launch an investigation into the Brewster candidates. One of them might have had their grandma giving out gummies in the voting booths in trade for votes. Seriously, why else would you take out your teeth in a voting booth?

All I know is if I’m the Brewster town clerk I’m checking to see if any candidates got 100% of the male votes.



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Joe Vaudo – The Stolen Oyster Guy – Was Elected To The Sandwich Planning Board

By Hippie

20 May

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Capenews.net – Joseph A. Vaudo, who lost his seat on the Sandwich Planning Board following a guilty plea in a criminal stolen oyster case, has returned to that board.

Mr. Vaudo, who lives on Route 6A, won a three-year term on the board with 38 write-in ballots in the Thursday, May 7, town election, according to the town clerk’s office.

Tough couple of days for Sandwich. You’ve got a couple of lunatics pressing criminal charges against a non-profit garden and now we find out they just elected a guy that screwed over an entire industry and the people of Sandwich to a three year term on their planning board? Yikes.

Pretty slick move by Joe on this one. Don’t put your name on the ballot so people can’t vote against you, but have all your friends and family write you in. Genius. Maybe it’s time to re think write in ballots, it’s pretty sneaky to not let anyone know you are even trying to get elected, I bet people would have shown up just to vote against him had they known. The greatest trick the devil pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

Sorry Sandwich, but you got fleeced.



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