You Can Hang Out With Hillary Clinton In Osterville For A Mere $27,000

Globe – Hillary Rodham Clinton has a busy calendar of Massachusetts fund-raisers in the next few weeks, starting Wednesday with events in Boston and Chestnut Hill and branching out to different pockets of the state early next month.

The July 2 events will take the front-runner for the Democratic nomination from Holyoke, one of the poorest cities in the Commonwealth, to Osterville and Provincetown, two upscale Cape Cod towns.

With co-hosting opportunities for $27,000, which can also purchase a photo with Clinton and inclusion in the Hillstarters program for high-dollar fund-raisers. In Osterville, the $27,000 also includes a reception with Clinton, according to a copy of the invitation obtained by the Globe.

The Hillstarters Program huh? That’s an interesting name for selling yourself to people for inordinate sums of money. Sounds kinda prestigious, maybe we should get The Real Cape into this elite club of social iniquity?

I don’t know though, $27,000 sounds a little expensive to be a Hillstarter. I’m pretty sure the Sultan of Brunei gets Victoria Secret Models imported right to his palace cheaper than that, and Hillary Clinton is no Victoria Secret model. I mean, Bill doesn’t even hook up with her, and we all know Slick Willy will hook up with pretty much anything *cough* Monica *cough*.

P.S. Maybe we should hold open primaries for anyone running, and the people we vote for get to run for President. Then they all get allotted the exact same amount of money to campaign with. That way the candidates aren’t beholden to anyone or anything when they get into office. Seems like a way to make sure when a position is filled by the voters, it is filled by a completely objective politician as opposed to an indebted prostitute. Seems like if we took money out of politics, greed and cronyism might go with it. Then I wouldn’t have to write blogs comparing politics to prostitution, it’s a win for everyone really.

*disclaimer: we would have written this exact piece about any politician from any party doing this on Cape Cod.