The Piping Plover Situation Is So Crazy It Defies Logic

WL – Orleans has already secured a state habitat conservation permit to balance public access and plover protection, but is still waiting for federal sign-off. Now funding from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency may help the streamline the federal process.

Orleans’ state permit allows the town to institute a 100-page plan that allows monitored off-road vehicles to drive by two plover nests in order to get to miles of beach, stretching toward Chatham, where buffers to protect endangered species aren’t triggered.

Many in town, and beyond, were pleased that after a decade of failure state officials were able to work with Orleans and approve a plan for the south side of Nauset Beach and people are hoping that other Cape towns can benefit.

To make the process smoother and less expensive at the federal level, the state, backed by a group of Cape towns called the Regional Beach Access Committee, is working on securing a statewide habitat conservation permit from U.S. Fish and Wildlife. If the state secures a permit from the federal government, communities would only need to work with the state. The new funding will help the state develop the permit application.

The Massachusetts Division of Fisheries and Wildlife will receive $188,694 to continue working with towns and private conservation organizations to develop an umbrella conservation plan that allows flexibility in plover management to provide relief to beach managers.

Everyday we get new articles about our ongoing battle with U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service, and with every one comes more confusion. At this point it is so insane that I can barely wrap my head around it. Basically, what the above article states, is that $188,694 of taxpayer money is going to help the state learn how to deal with the towns complaints against the feds? Read that sentence again. This money is not actually conserving or helping anyone in any way, it is only to assist in the bureaucratic quagmire that has formed between different levels of government.

So after years of regulations in which the feds used our tax money to keep us off of our beaches, towns are fighting back using our money. Orleans has spent countless hours and dollars developing their plan to balance humans and plovers. Chatham just earmarked $300,000 of their budget to block the Fish and Wildlife service from taking 717 acres of their land. Now the state is getting in on the action as well by spending our money just to referee the fight. To recap… the towns are using our money to fight the regulations the feds put in place using our money and the state generously offered to help… using our money.

That is an expensive argument over a fucking bird. No wonder the government wants to save the Piping Plovers, the money we are spending fighting over them is paying peoples salaries.

We’d be better off spending all this money on condoms, because one thing is clear… We are getting fucked by everyone.