Topix – The Barnstable police report said that Scott F. Warren swung the bat at the man outside the Salvation Army in Hyannis on Jan. 23 after the two men argued about dividing proceeds from selling scrap metal in New Bedford. The victim said he fought Warren in self-defense after Warren grabbed a knife from the center console of the car in which they were both sitting.
Everybody check your outside showers to make sure the copper pipes are still there. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that bats and knives aren’t coming out at The Salvation Army in a dispute over the proceeds from perfectly legal scrap metal sold in New Beige.
This just proves one of my steadfast rules in life. Don’t ever leave the scrap yard without divvying up the dough first. Next thing you know Dude Guy falls in love with a leisure suit at the Salvation Army and decides he needs more cash. If that’s not a perfect recipe for assault with a deadly weapon then I don’t know what is.
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