Summertime on Cape Cod is a special time. There are an endless amount of activities to partake in. Whether you go to the beach, out on the boat, golfing, hiking etc. etc. you are just about guaranteed to have a good time, but sometimes, even on a peninsula surrounded by the ocean, you just want to rally a good group of friends and do some good old fashioned day drinking.

What makes a great day drinking establishment? Is it the beer selection? The drink specials? The food? A Patio? TV’s? Pool tables? The service? Location? These are some of the questions we are going to answer over the next 30 days in the first ever quest to crown the best day drinking establishment on Cape Cod.

The first step in this process will be to establish a list of nominees comprised of the five best day drinking bars on the Cape. That’s where you, The Real Cape readers, come into the equation. We need you folks to either comment below, on our Facebook page under this post, or email us with the name of your favorite daytime watering holes on Cape Cod. From this list of nominees you will vote for the top five bars, and then the fun begins.

Over the course of the next month we will spend a day drinking and eating at each of the nominated bars (you will be invited to join us) in order to review and rank them. The winner of this coveted award will be announced August 1st on stage at The Real Cape Music Festival where the owners or selected staff from the winning establishment will be awarded with a special VIP package as well as a customized trophy to proudly display on site at their mecca of Day Drinking.

Let the games begin!

P.S. If you are either the owner or a staff member of an establishment you think has what it takes to win this, feel free to contact us to throw your hat in the ring and tell us why you think your bar belongs on the list of nominees.

P.P.S. All towns on the Cape and Islands are eligible. We are prepared to go the extra mile and be 100% thorough when it comes to drinking all day no matter what it takes, that’s how dedicated we are to this cause.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Falmouth Police Facebook – The Falmouth Police Department is seeking the location of the following subjects for their alleged involvement in the recent attempted abduction. The department has outstanding arrest warrants for Attempted Abduction, Enticing a Minor, and Conspiracy for both subjects. Do not approach this vehicle or these subjects. Please contact the police immediately.

People thought we were joking when we broke this story at 10 a.m. and already had it solved a full 6.5 hours before the police released the names and photos of the suspects. Here’s an excerpt from that 10 a.m. post…

When people from Falmouth think two creepy dudes  with bandanas in a white van, they think Squirrel Brothers. These dudes have been creeping people out for years. Keep an eye out folks and don’t approach them.

Sure enough, it was the Squirrels. You put the words “bandanas, abduction, and white van” together in a sentence in a police alert in Falmouth and you are talking about the Squirrel brothers 137% of the time.

No big deal, we just solved the case before anyone else even reported it. Do we pick up our Pulitzer locally, or do they mail it to us? There’s a category for investigative reporting from a couch in boxer shorts right?

P.S. Shit, do we need to rent tuxedos for the Citizens of the Year Gala?

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeCodTimes.com – A charity group’s donation jar collecting funds for Boston Marathon bombing victims was stolen from the lobby of West Bend Music on Main Street, according to police and a woman who helped write a song about the 2013 attack.
The jar contained between $200 and $300, Dennis Police Officer Ryan Carr said.

The donation jar was intended to raise money for the Gillian Reny Stepping Strong Fund at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, created by the family of Gillian Reny, who was seriously injured in the bombings near the marathon’s finish line, said Carol Adams, of Brewster. The fund aims to help those dealing with traumatic limb injuries.

Anyone with information about the theft of the jar should call Dennis police at 508-394-1313.

Ding, ding, ding… We’ve got a winner! Taking over the top spot from the guy who stole the musicians tip jar is the Marathon Bombing Victims Jar thief. You just can’t sink any lower than this folks. This dude just bought himself a $200 ticket straight to hell. Even the church collection plate thief has a better chance at getting through the pearly gates than whoever stole this donation jar.

If they catch this dude the only logical punishment is to chop off his legs and give them to the victims he stole from. I don’t even care if they can’t use them, they can stuff them and hang them on their mantle, as long as this klepto prick suffers the same fate as the people he stole from.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

FPD – Attempted Abduction at Bus Stop (Falmouth) This morning, two men attempted to entice a middle school age female into their vehicle from her bus stop. The girl did not enter the vehicle and is safe. The men were reported to be white with tattoos, beards, and bandanas. The vehicle was described as a white construction style van. The safety of children is a priority and the Falmouth Police Department along with other local agencies are attempting to locate and identify the individuals involved with this incident. Please contact the Falmouth Police Department at 774-255-4527 if you see these men or have further information. ###

When people from Falmouth think two creepy dudes  with bandanas in a white van, they think Squirrel Brothers. These dudes have been creeping people out for years. Keep an eye out folks and don’t approach them, even if it wasn’t the Squirrels, you still don’t want to approach them.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Freckles huh? Cute name. Almost makes you forget the 300 teeth on a conveyor belt of death. Nothing like waking up the morning after a tornado to a brand new video of a 15 ft. shark swimming in your backyard. Cape Cod is giving Dante’s Inferno a run for its money these days. If the thunder don’t get ‘ya then the Great White will.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Severe thunderstorms are rumbling across Massachusetts, and forecasters say they could spawn tornadoes.

The National Weather Service has issued a tornado watch for most of Massachusetts, effective until 11 p.m. Tuesday.

Forecasters said wind gusts up to 70 miles per hour are possible as the thunderstorms storms cross the state from west to east, as well as hail up to an inch in diameter.

It’s a twister! I just saw an empty bottle of Fireball and a carton of Newports fly by my window. Everybody take cover and stay safe, and by take cover and stay safe we mean start drinking immediately. A tornado is an even better reason to get drunk than a blizzard.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

CapeNews – Many boaters attempting to launch their vessels at the popular White’s Landing have left frustrated over the last few weeks, unable to slide their boats into the water because of the new ramp’s faulty design.

Falmouth’s most popular public boat ramp, located on Childs River, received an overhaul last month to repair its aging and decrepit concrete ramp, costing the state Office of Fishing and Boating Access $300,000.

However, the ramp was engineered with too gradual of a grade, based on there being three feet of water at mean low tide, when in fact the water is 1.5 feet there at the lowest tide, said Famouth Harbor Master Gregg P. Fraser.

YOU HAD ONE JOB. Seriously though, is this not the perfect example of why the government shouldn’t be in charge of construction projects? Imagine if you were put in charge of building a boat ramp at work and you just straight up failed. You didn’t make a crappy boat ramp, you made one that simply doesn’t work half the time. You would be fired faster than Gary Busey on Celebrity Apprentice.

Not once, through the planning, designing, engineering or construction did one person notice that this new ramp wasn’t going to work. Everyone just whistled Dixie, built a ramp all wrong and then went on their way. Then when boaters complain they’re like “Oh, you wanted to use that ramp at high tide AND low tide? OK, no big deal, we’ll just spend some more of your money to fix it.”

A $300,000 boat ramp that doesn’t launch boats at low tide. Take a bow Massachusetts, you never cease to amaze.

thanks to J.R. for the tip

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony