CC – The latest person bitten by a shark off the North Carolina coast has been identified as a Wareham man.
Andrew Costello, 68, was bitten several times while in waist-deep water near the Outer Banks. He’s in fair condition at a North Carolina hospital.

Witnesses say he was pulled under by a shark about 7 feet long. It’s the 7th shark attack in North Carolina.
Shark experts have a not-so-reassuring explanation for a recent spate of attacks along the coast of the Carolinas: it’s mainly because so many people are getting in the water.

That’s more attacks than North Carolina has recorded in any single year dating to 2000.
But George Burgess, director of the Florida Program for Shark Research, says it’s all a matter of perspective. He notes there have already been 11 attacks in Florida, and there were 28 last year.

Oh hell no. I’ve been saying all along that all these shark attacks in North Carolina are happening because the sharks are warming up for a big summer on the Cape. Now they’ve singled out a Wareham guy. Coincidence? I think not. Obviously they are trying to get a feel for what our Yankee asses are gonna taste like up here above the Mason-Dixon.

This might actually be a good thing though. Maybe the shark that bit this dude will tell his buddies he tasted like shit and they’ll think that’s what Cape Codders taste like. Stupid sharks don’t know the difference between Wareham and Cape Cod, they don’t realize Wareham people are like grape juice and we are like a fine wine. This could work out in our favor.

P.S. How about George Burgess? He’s like “Hey at least you aren’t Florida”. No shit George, we all thank our lucky stars every day.

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Brookfeild Patch – Wendy Ann Mitchell – Slip Cup – You’re playing beer pong in your friend’s garage when you miss the shot and the ping pong ball rolls into a dirty, dusty corner. When you retrieve the ball it’s covered in who knows what. Do you want ”who knows what” going into your drink?

Enter in a revolutionary new product five Brookfield brothers have invented to make your beer pong game safer and cleaner. It’s called the ”Slip Cup” and provides a way to play cleaner by shielding the player’s drink with an insert so the ball never comes into contact with your drink.

I’m not sure if I hate this invention because I didn’t come up with it, or because I’m a beer pong purist. I guess it’s better than playing with water cups? If you’re playing Beer Pong with water cups you might as well turn in your Cape Cod card. I suppose you people like to play Asshole with O’Doul’s as well?

I just don’t understand why we need to mess with everything. If you aren’t man enough to drink some beer just because it’s had a filthy Ping Pong ball in it then maybe you aren’t a man at all. Maybe it’s time you go outside and get a little dirty, build up that immune system and stop acting like Michael Jackson on a Chinese subway.

The bottom line is this; Beer Pong is fine the way it is, there’s no need to reinvent the wheel. Everybody needs to just stop being such wusses… Oh yeah, and this invention is genius, I wish I thought of it, these guys are gonna be millionaires and I hate them. That is all.

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Congrats to The Quahog Republic, C Salt and Anejo who won best bar, restaurant and brunch in the 2015 Best of Boston Cape Cod category. This is obviously due to Falmouth’s superiority when it comes to palette, sophistication and overall greatness…

Either that or whoever was in charge of picking the Cape Cod winners didn’t feel like going any further up rte. 28. Either way we’ll take it, when you are the best of Cape Cod, you are the best of the best.

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Globe – An Afghan soldier who fled a training exercise on Cape Cod last year and headed toward Canada has won asylum in the United States, his lawyer said Tuesday.

Major Jan Arash was one of the three soldiers who spent more than $1,600 to travel from Cape Cod to a border checkpoint in Niagara Falls, where they were detained.

“He’s almost speechless. He’s overjoyed,” said Matthew Borowski, Arash’s attorney in Buffalo.

The soldiers argued that sending them back to the Afghan Army would be tantamount to a death sentence because they had been targeted by the Taliban for fighting alongside Americans.

One of the other soldiers was released to Canada, where he had relatives and planned to seek asylum. The third soldier remains in immigration detention in Batavia, N.Y., near Buffalo, Borowski said. He hopes to secure asylum for that soldier as well.

I’m all for this decision. Let ’em stay I say. In a time when most people are bitching about one thing or another about the U.S. it’s refreshing to see someone who wants to be here this much.

I think this should be policy. If your life in your old country was so bad that seeing one set of boobies at Zachary’s makes you desert your army and country in the hopes of staying here? That’s good enough for me, and it damn well should be good enough for Uncle Sam. Who wouldn’t want to leave a non boobie country for a country packed with boobies? It’s a simple equation really

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Ha ha, kids falling and almost smashing their grills is always funny. Much respect to the kids trying this in flip flops. Now let’s get on the ball here and get one of these races going with drunken adults. Now that’s a lobster crate race we could get behind.

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CapeCodTimes.com – Private property owners along White Path Lane and Bay Beach Lane are being asked to give permanent easements on their property to the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to make way for dredge spoils from the Cape Cod Canal.

Some lashed back as fiercely as the waves that hit what’s left of the dunes in front of their homes this winter, because the easements would allow public access to the beaches in front of their homes, including inside their property lines. At times it was if all 20 people were talking at once.

“You’re taking our land and letting people sit in our yard. It’s ridiculous,” Sharon Schneider of 4 White Cap Path said.

The dredging would provide 150,000 cubic yards of dredge materials and would be used along a 2,500-foot stretch of coastline to protect the private homes. Easements are only needed for some of those properties affected.

The total cost of the project is $5.2 million, and depositing the sand on the beaches would cost an additional $1.65 million, with the town’s portion being $575,000, Michael Riccio, project manager for the Corps, said.

Irene Davis, who owns a cottage at 8 White Cap Path, said she and other homeowners will be paying taxes on property for the benefit of others. “That’s not fair,” she said.

Because the federal government is paying 65 percent of the project, there has to be a public benefit, Riccio said.

“Do you realize what we’ve done to try to get this?” Town Manager George “Bud” Dunham said. “When you buy next to salt water, there’s inherent risk.”

So the bottom line is this. These people live on the ocean and their beaches are eroding so their houses are in danger. The government is spending millions of dollars to fix it for them. Because it is a government project they are asking for a few public easements to satisfy the need for public benefit from the taxpayer funded project.

Here’s where it gets hilarious. Irene Davis and a slew of other neighbors are pissed about this because they… “will be paying taxes… for the benefit of others” and “that’s not fair”. Well, I have a question for Irene and the rest of the homeowners that are against this… Why is it not fair for others to benefit from your taxes, yet you want to use millions of dollars of our money to fix your beach? Kinda hypocritical no? It takes a special kind of entitlement to actually call other people entitled in your argument for your entitlement. Blood just trickled out of my ear.

I’m all for property rights, and the government shouldn’t be able to force these people to do anything with their property. That said, if you want the rest of us to pay for your sand, then you can shut right the hell up about a few easements. Should I ask the government to use taxpayer money to build me a pool and a new deck? If you don’t want the stipulations that come with government funding, pay for your own sand. There are a few social programs we need, but we sure as hell don’t need you people calling in on Obama phones from your private beach for government sand and paying for it with EBT cards.

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A little sneak peak at one of the stages we’ll be constructing for this years festival. This is going to be a big one folks, only one month left and tickets are flying off the shelves, pick yours up today.

Here is the 2015 lineup…

• Guster
• Trampled by Turtles
• Rubblebucket
• Ryan Montbleau Band
• Pink Talking Fish
• Crooked Coast
• Brian Sances Band
• The Sacred Mounds

Special Guest Speaker – Boston Marathon Bombing Survivor – Jeff Bauman

Our MC will once again be PIXY 103‘s Matty B

This year, because of the size of the show, we will be constructing two custom stages in one of the bigger fields at The Cape Cod Fairgounds to accommodate the extra level of madness that is sure to ensue. Bigger bands, more vendors, tons of food, beer and wine, live artists, you name it, we’ve got it going on. This is going to be the single biggest party Cape Cod has seen in a long, long time, you don’t want to be the one person that misses it. Oh and hey Fun Police, don’t forget to tip your waiter, because you just got served.

Make Sure to CLICK HERE to visit the festival website for more details.

Tix on sale below (or the fest site)

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