CapeCodToday.com – Tens of thousands of patients are expected to quickly take advantage of medical marijuana in Massachusetts, where the first dispensaries are on pace to open this summer and provisional licensees are all expected to make home deliveries, according to the state official in charge of the program’s launch.

“We really wanted to ensure that patients had choice,” said van Unen, who added that the state encouraged dispensaries to offer home delivery to patients and all approved applicants plan to do so.

Weed delivery. The absolute pinnacle of laziness has arrived folks. Stoner heaven has descended unto earth with the completion of the trifecta of THC.

1. The Domino’s Guy
2. Netflix
3. And now The Weed Delivery Guy

Game over. Half of Cape Cod officially has not one reason to ever leave their house. I have seen the future and it is a post apocalyptic wasteland with nothing but Prius after Prius zipping down the otherwise empty roads delivering either pizza or pot.

We will need no politicians or police because nobody will ever do anything ever again… at all. Zip up feetie pajamas with a couch attached to the backside so you can sit whenever and wherever you feel like it will be the fashion of the times. Conversation will be slowed to vibrational humming as humans regress to whale sounds to communicate. Eventually everything will just stop…

…and we will all realize that only like 3 minutes went by, we were just high as fuck.

 

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Never before has a panel of such sophisticated palettes been assembled, watch the video to see the outcome in a battle for the ages pinning the mainland against The Islands.

Make sure to get your tickets for this weekends The Brazen Belles Valentease Extravaganza before they sell out by clicking HERE

Also be sure to follow what The Belles are up to on their website or their Facebook page.

Also huge tip of the cap to our editor Adam Hamwey for working his ass off to get this out quickly

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

MVTimes.com – The days of shark weighing in Oak Bluffs will come to an end following a vote by the town selectmen this week to grant a harbor permit for a tournament that targets other big game fish. The new tournament, led by Cape Cod residents Damon Sacco and Christian Giardini, will be held in the town marina July 24 to 26.

Sharks may be caught in the new event but fishermen will be required to set them free. Instead, there will be a weigh in for marlin, tuna, mahi, swordfish and wahoo, which generally weigh less than 100 pounds. Depending on the species and size of the fish, some will be weighed, and others released.

27 years is a good run. In the end the Monster Shark Tournament simply did not pass my simple Fun Police test. If it is wicked fucking awesome, it will be stopped. Too many people having too good of a time is just not tolerated anymore.

Cape Cod is just so fucking arrogant it drives me nuts. What kind of place that relies so heavily on the tourist industry for its economy tries this hard to make itself suck? Hey you know that huge event that attracts tons of people and stimulates the economy? Yeah we’re gonna have to go ahead and replace it with something nobody wants to go to. What a great policy for a tourist destination huh?

Fuck the Fun Police!

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What in the fuck is that? My guess is aliens. See this is where I get my controversial dislike for swimming in the ocean. We have NO IDEA what is down there. I don’t know what is causing this water to boil but I do know this. You wouldn’t stand a chance against it, there is nothing in that water but certain death.

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Car Hookup – w4m – 18 (Eastham)
age : 18

Let’s meet at a beach in Eastham. We can get in the back of your car, and whatever happens happens. Maybe if you bring some 420 we can get a little relaxed before.

Dick pics get you nowhere. Send a face picture please. Age doesn’t really matter, but the older the better.

What’s that Chris Rock saying? A father’s only quest in life is to keep his daughter off the stripper pole? Well I think we can update that to “A father’s only quest in life is to keep his daughter from posting ads on Craigslist looking to meet up with strangers to smoke weed and have sex in the back of cars.”

Really rolls off the tongue doesn’t it?

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So in our quest entertain The Cape, we are always trying to add new talented people to the team. We were shooting a video last night with the new camera guy. All goes well, he’s a talented dude, blah blah blah. Then out of nowhere he drops this gem on us…

Yup, that’s Steve. The newest addition to The Real Cape team. And if you don’t think we locked him up to a long term deal immediately after seeing that video then you have a screw loose.

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Home also includes a guest house with bath & hot tub (Julia Roberts stayed in this guest house). Professionally landscaped grounds with 12 person hot tub. COME SEE TO BELIEVE!!  listing here

Before I get the inevitable emails from people saying the listing broker for this house is their baby in law’s sisters cousins aunt and she’s a really good person and doesn’t deserve to be made fun of, I just want to say that I am sure the folks who listed this property are great people. I follow them on Twitter, they seem lovely and I understand it is an agent’s duty to put what the homeowner tells them in a listing. These people are not what I am about to rant about, this rant is about society and it’s worshiping of false idols. So please no email saying I made your auntie cry OK? Ok.

(Honestly, I get emails like that all the time from people with zero reading comprehension skills, I may start publishing them so you folks can see what I deal with)

Now that we have the disclaimer out of the way, let’s talk about how bananas it is that Julia Roberts is even mentioned in this listing. What planet do you have to be from to remotely care that Julia Roberts once slept somewhere? First off we aren’t talking about George Washington here, we are talking about a woman famous for pretending to be a really nice whore in a movie.

What do the people who care about this kind of thing think makes this room any different than any other room in the world? Do they think that if they rub their ass on the pillow that means Julia Roberts tossed their salad or something? Does it still smell like her? Is her spirit still there? Can the new owner artificially inseminate the room to get it pregnant and have little Julia Roberts room babies with gigantic mouths? I DON’T GET IT!

The bottom line is if you are thinking about buying a house for $2.7 million and Julia Roberts having slept in the guest house factors into your decision in any way, then you should be spayed, neutered and euthanized immediately.

P.S. For $2.7 million dollars you don’t need Julia Roberts’ pillow… I’ll toss your salad.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony