Cape Cod History 1923 – Hey Look Cape Criminals Have Always Been Morons

train – On this day in 1923, two burglars suspected of robbing a general store in Harwich fled the Cape by train from Buzzards Bay after colliding with a truck outside Sandwich.

The unidentified thieves “lost their loot” in the collision, according to the Associated Press, “abandoned their automobile, walked and ran seven miles to the Buzzards Bay railroad station, boarded a train for Boston, parried the questions of a policeman at Brockton and then jumped from the train at Montello and Avon.”

But in their haste to flee, the two men left behind their “booty,” which included “jewelry of moderate value and a miscellaneous collection of the more expensive things kept in a general store,” the AP reported.

After the suspected thieves boarded a train in Buzzards Bay, police sent word ahead to Middleboro and Brockton. A policeman boarded the train in Brockton and questioned the men, “whom he recognized by the muddy condition of their clothing,” according to the AP.

This is for all the people who email us every time we run a story about how dumb Cape Cod criminals are to tell us how it’s wrong to make fun of them and how there is an epidemic etc. etc.

This crap has been going on forever, these dumb asses robbed a store in 1923, crashed their truck and tried to get away on a train? Do you know how much of an idiot you have to be to think you can escape on a train? The one advantage you have that actually matters in a getaway is that the people chasing you don’t know where you are going. Getting on a train removes every single shred of mystery from that equation. There is literally only one place you can go… the next stop.

The point here is that this story could just as easily be about yesterday instead of 1923. It’s funny because it’s old, but if it happened yesterday I’d get 327 emails about how these are good kids and they are just in a bad place. Yeah well, good or no they still did something stupid and it’s funny. If we stop making fun of people when they do stupid things then people will keep doing stupid things. Also, life doesn’t cease to be funny in serious times any less than it ceases to be serious during times of laughter.

P.S. I bet I still get at least one email from one of these guys great-great-grandkids calling me an asshole for slandering them.

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