Vineyard Gazette – The storm that slammed the Island in early November cancelled ferry trips and eroded beaches on Chappaquiddick. It also unearthed a mystery.

Pieces of what appears to be a 19th-century shipwreck were exposed on East Beach at Cape Pogue, said Chris Kennedy, Vineyard superintendent for the Trustees of Reservations.

Iron pegs that once attached wood planks to the ribs of the wooden ship are visible in neat rows on the beach opposite Shear Pen Pond, Mr. Kennedy said. They were unearthed by the northeaster that hit the beach the first weekend of November.

This is not the first time the shipwreck has been exposed, Mr. Kennedy said. “I guess I’ve seen it maybe five times in the last 26 years. It obviously has been there for a long, long time.

Mr. Kennedy said that southwestern winds will bring sand back to the beach and eventually the pieces of the shipwreck will be buried again by a foot or two of sand. “By next summer you wouldn’t even know it’s there,” he said, and people will set up on the beach with blankets. Little do they know, he said, “they’re sitting right on top of an old, old shipwreck.”

The Trustees announced the discovery on Facebook and invited people to come see the wreck, but asked visitors not to disturb the site.

Don’t disturb the site? Dude, how many times are you going to leave the rusty metal rods sticking up all over the beach? Sure people might not realize they are sitting on top of an old shipwreck, but you know what else they don’t realize? That they’re sitting on top of a tetanus mine field.

What is with this obsession with not disturbing old shit? Where is the line between something being historic or just being old garbage? Look, there are thousands of wrecks all around Cape Cod, this one is not special, we aren’t talking about Fenway Park here, clean that shit up Martha’s Vineyard, before someone ends up with gonorrhea.

P.S. Yes, gonorrhea, that’s how you get it. Just ask Insane Tony, he’s always talking about how he got gonorrhea from some crusty old wreck at the beach.

WL – With Bridgewater State University’s Yarmouth campus set to host its inaugural semester beginning in January, and registration opening in the next few weeks, the school is offering details about its initial slate of undergraduate, graduate, and noncredit programs, while continuing to plan future courses.

Located at the former Laurence C. MacArthur Elementary School on Route 28, the new campus will initially host four classrooms, plus a conference room and administrative office space. Further renovations of the existing building are expected over the next few years, along with an expansion of course offerings.

The initial semester will see eight undergraduate classes, several tailored specifically for the Cape. As part of BSU’s cooperative approach with Cape Cod Community College, all of the university’s undergrad classes will be upper-level offerings, to avoid drawing students away from the two-year school.

First off, what the hell is the deal with this “no compete” crap with Four C’s? Has the “everyone gets a trophy” culture where we coddle everyone into mediocrity by rewarding all accomplishments equally really made it all the way to our college administrations? I think they should compete, you want higher enrollment? Be better. You know who wins in that scenario? The students.

Secondly, is it just me or is this one of the most blatant, thinly veiled, insulting sentences you’ve ever heard?

“As part of BSU’s cooperative approach with Cape Cod Community College, all of the university’s undergrad classes will be upper-level offerings, to avoid drawing students away from the two-year school.”

Let me translate that from PC to real talk for you…

“We aren’t going to offer crap like basic underwater basket weaving courses so we don’t steal any of the dummies from CCCC.”

Good lord Bridgewater State, take it down a notch will ya? Last I checked you weren’t exactly Ivy League either. Don’t think you can just show up on our peninsula all pretentious, making fun of our little college, and we won’t call you out. Sure, Four C’s might be a bit of a runt, but it’s our little runt dammit!

CapeNews.net – Prior to starting the Boston-based printing company Mammoth Media, which was recently sold to Colorado’s Circle Graphics, Kenneth Rowell III, his brother Mark J. Rowell, and Kevin Morash were teammates on the Salem State University lacrosse team. For the past year and a half, the three have been channeling their love of the sport while planning their latest business venture, a lacrosse store in Mashpee Commons.

Located beside Starbucks on North Street, Legit Lax will be the first retail store on Cape Cod to offer only lacrosse merchandise, Kenneth Rowell said. Currently, the closest lacrosse store to Cape Cod is Commonwealth Lacrosse in Kingston.

While this may be great news for Cape lax bros, this article forgets to mention the backbone of lax bro culture. The real beneficiaries of this store will be the Lacrosstitutes. Lax bros are always forgetting things and this may be the “in” that these ladies have been waiting for. Now they can keep a stockpile of all the latest pinnies and mid calf tubes in the trunks of their cars for such occasions.

Listen up Lacrosstitutes, this is your chance. I’m telling you, the way to a bros heart is through fresh shwag. Come through for him a few times and the next thing you know he gives you a toke off his oney, offers you one of his Busch Lights, you run your fingers through his lettuce, and the two of you chill happily ever after not sweating the details together.

WHDH – A State Police bomb squad was on the scene in Yarmouth on Saturday for reports of a suspicious duffel bag.  

The suspicious object was found outside the West Yarmouth Cumberland Farms gas station on Route 28 at around 2:45 p.m. 

Crews used a motorized robot to examine the bag. 

What a world we live in. Someone forgets their bag next to a Red Box at Cumbies and the next thing you know the bomb squad is on the scene with remote control robots and shit. Terrorists must love to see stories like this, it must make them so happy to know that they are so deep in our heads that an unattended bag of dirty skivvies elicits such an over the top tactical response. These terrorist sons of bitches have us so scared that a laundry bag full of explosives at a convenience store on Cape Cod is actually fucking plausible to us.

On the plus side though, it is nice to see Number 5 from Short Circuit doing well in a new career…

CapeCod.com – Nantucket police are asking for the public’s help in identifying the driver of red GMC pickup truck involved in a hit and run Friday. The incident occurred just after 7 PM on Sparks Avenue near Williams Lane.

Police say a pedestrian was struck and suffered minor injuries.

Anybody with information is asked to contact Nantucket police.

Well this should take what? 7 minutes? We are talking about winter time on Nantucket here, every single person on the island read the paper this morning and simultaneously said; “Red GMC? Oh that must Rick from over on Agunquahinnaquamatuckatuckaquid Road.”

Arthur Bonzarelli here to tell you about another HUGE Sunday Funday event at The Beach House.

The SmacDown Mac and Cheese contest is today starting at noon. Amateurs and professionals alike will battle to claim the title of THE BIG CHEESE. No Patriots Game so what else are you going to do, rake friggin’ leaves? C’mon man.

Tons of raffle and silent auction items and all proceeds go to the Micheal Fernandes Bone Marrow Research Foundation. It’s a family friendly event so come on, come all.

The Real Cape crew is entered and rumor has it Hippie and Insane Tony made some mac and cheese that is so good it will make you lactate… seriously, bring an extra shirt.