Cape Cod Market Basket Is Out Of Produce – Wait, What?

07/22/201408/20/2014

Capecodonline.com – Loading her car with groceries Monday afternoon outside Market Basket, East Falmouth resident Silvia Carnevali had an unexpected trip to take.

“I am going right to Stop & Shop,” Carnevali said as she left the store with her 9-year-old son and his friend.

Carnevali hoped to buy her produce at the Market Basket, which she shops at about once a week. But with large parts of the fruit and vegetable sections empty or diminished, Carnevali said she was forced to go elsewhere for her produce.

The East Falmouth woman said she hadn’t heard about the corporate and family drama at Market Basket when she showed up to shop Monday. She asked a cashier about the lack of products and said she was told staff did not know when the supplies would be replenished.

“The store is kind of a mess,” she said.

The shortages have been caused by an ongoing feud within the family that owns the grocery chain, and employees’ efforts to try to force the return of a popular CEO who was ousted last month.

Thousands of employees and supporters rallied Monday at the company’s headquarters Tewksbury, calling for Arthur T. Demoulas to be reinstated as CEO. It was the second such rally in less than a week.

Let me get this straight. Market Basket, a chain of 71 stores, fired their CEO and now the store on Cape Cod is out of zucchini and broccoli? How does that make any sense whatsoever? Was part of Arthur T. Demoulas’ responsibilities as CEO to personally deliver produce to the Sagamore store?

No wonder there are rallies being held to put the guy back in charge. Whoever they replaced him with must be a grade A asshole. I’m not a supermarket expert by any stretch, but I’m pretty sure if your CEO sucks so bad that people can’t buy fruit at your stores anymore, it might be time to re think your hiring process.

P.S. I have to confess I’ve never been to a Market Basket. I always got the feeling it was like an Ocean State Job Lot for groceries, like they sell mac and cheese that survived a warehouse fire and shit. Am I wrong on that? Is the place a legit grocery store for normal people?

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True Talk Tuesday: Sexting & Break Ups

07/22/2014

Both questions this week happen to have come from men. Neither of which I know personally. Which makes me happy because they seem like fucking weirdos.

Since your totes a celeb now, will you accidentally or drunkenly be posting any nude selfies? P.S. Please dont let Hippie do that.

Dear Chester-the-Molester,

Let me first start by saying that if you think I’m a “celeb”, you need to get out more. I’ll then follow with why the hell do you want to see nude pictures of anyone, let alone me? Who gets off to still-frame’s? This isn’t the ’90s.

Though I once was told by a friend of mine that she’s seen “more dicks in my phone than in real life”, the answer to your question is no. I would never take a naked picture of myself for many reasons, those reasons mainly consisting of the fact that I don’t even want to see myself naked, so why would I put anyone else through that torture? Also, with my luck, that shit would be spread around faster than Hippie guzzles jack and coke’s.

Stay creepy,

Onto the next;

I’ve been dating this girl for a couple of months now but just don’t see it going anywhere. There’s nothing wrong her and she’s great, just not for me. How do I break it off without being a total dick?

Dear Forever Alone,

There’s really only one way to end this without looking like a prick, and that’s to tell her you have some sort of STD and/or you’re gay. Don’t believe me?

Trust – regardless of how you end it, homegirl WILL tell you and all her friends you’re a dick. Why? Because we can’t fathom the idea that you don’t think we’re perfect and how could you NOT want to be with us? Clearly there’s something wrong with YOU.

While I know how ridiculous that sounds, that’s the way the cookie crumbles, bro. Rejection sucks and girls need to label you a prick in order to get through the pain and heal their wounded ego. Well, that and wine. And food. And vodka. And food.

So although I’m not telling you to like, do anything rash or fall off the face of the planet, I do recommend some sort of minor injury or perhaps an STD of some sort so that you ending things is only because “you care so much and only want the best for her”. Which is basically anything other than you.

Good luck dickhead,

*Remember to submit your questions via Facebook. Everything submitted is kept anonymous and answered in a nonsensical, moronic fashion.

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Two Men Arrested For Breaking Into Old Silver Beach Concession Stand

07/22/201408/20/2014

Capecodonline.com – Two North Falmouth men are being charged with breaking into a concession stand at Old Silver Beach where they allegedly stole candy, among other items, according to court records.

James J. Pierson, 45, of 246 North Falmouth Highway, and Brian Bortz, 46, of 2 Trickett St., pleaded not guilty to charges of breaking and entering, larceny from a building and destruction of property valued at more than $250 in Falmouth District Court Friday.

Pierson was held in lieu of $2,500 cash bail. Bail for Bortz was set at $1,000.

The two men allegedly broke a window at the Old Silver concession stand and stole candy and other items, records show. The theft was caught on surveillance tape, which led police to Pierson and Bortz, records show.

When police arrested Bortz in a tent behind Pierson’s apartment, he allegedly had Sour Patch Kids and Twizzlers inside with him, according to court records.

Are we sure we have the ages right in this story? 45 and 46? Seems more like we just read about an 11 and 12 year old. One dude was arrested in a tent with Sour Patch Kids and Twizzlers? Was he reading a Super Man comic by flashlight too?

Holy shit man you’re 46 years old, time to stop breaking into concession stands, stealing candy and hiding in your tent. Grow up, steal some booze and cigarettes from a convenience store and hide out in some sleazy hotel room will ya?

Next week we’ll probably read about this dynamic duo being arrested for stealing their dad’s Playboys and kicking little Sally from down the street in the shins.

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The Real Cape Music Festival Is Less Than Two Weeks Away – Tickets On Sale Now!

07/21/201407/26/2014

The Real Cape Music Festival is less than 2 weeks away! Early bird pre sale tix are moving fast and will be gone soon so get yours today to save some money before the price goes up. We’ve got tons of high energy bands lined up for the day. There’s something for everybody on this lineup and we will have two stages to make sure the music never stops.

The festival will be held at The Cape Cod Fairgrounds (formerly The Barnstable County Fairgrounds). Pixy 103 will be on the scene and their DJ MattyB will be MCing the day. Matty has been a Real Cape fan from day one so it was a no brainer to get him on board. Dirty Water TV will be filming an episode all day and night so be sure to keep an eye out for their cameras as well.

We will also have some live performance art by local graffiti artists and glass blowers, tons of great food vendors and there will be some surprise musical performances around the grounds throughout the day. Did I mention the mechanical shark? Yes, we have a mechanical shark, because why not? If you aren’t getting the basic idea yet, what I am saying is that The Real Cape Music Festival is going to be a festival in the truest sense of the word, with all kinds of weirdness all over the place.

So mark it down and grab your tickets early, we are going to be making history on August 2nd at The Cape Cod Fairgrounds!

Please check out the festival website HERE

Keep up with the fest on the Facebook event page HERE

Follow the fest on Twitter HERE

Check out our insane VIP packages HERE

Event Registration Online for The Real Cape Music Festival powered by Eventbrite

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Today In Cape Cod History 1919 – Germans Attack 3 Miles Off Orleans – U.S. Planes Throw Wrenches

07/21/2014

CCT – ORLEANS, Mass., July 21, 1918–A German submarine attacked the tug Perth Amboy of the Lehigh Valley Railroad and her four barges three miles off this town on the southeastern elbow of Cape Cod at 10:30 A.M. today…

It is reported locally that in their haste to take off to repeal the u-boat, the flight crew from the Chatham Seaplane Base forgot to load any bombs aboard the planes, and ended up throwing their wrenches and other equipment at the escaping German submarines.

Holy crap! Germans were only 3 miles from The Cape in WWI? I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t actually come ashore. It seems like Cape Cod didn’t have the best defense system in 1919. Forgetting to put the bombs on your plane before a bombing mission has to be pretty embarrassing. Although you can’t knock the hustle when they started throwing wrenches and shit, gotta run what ya brung right?

At least if the Germans decided to invade Cape Cod now, it would take them forever to find a place they could come ashore, since 90% of our beaches are closed because of Piping Plovers. An endangered bird’s nest is a better defense than planes with no bombs on them.

P.S. Good practice for the Germans though right? You can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a bomb.

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Oh Hey, Another Video Of A Great White – This One In Nauset

07/21/201407/21/2014

We are under siege! It’s just an absolute frenzy out there at this point. I think I may have come up with a theory though. Maybe these are all mechanical sharks and they are being planted by the SyFy channel just to get everyone talking about sharks before the release of Sharknado 2.

How awesome would it be if in one of these YouTube videos all of a sudden Ian Ziering cut his way out of the shark with a chainsaw and started making out with that pig from the American Pie movies? That would be the single best marketing tactic in the history of everything.

P.S. Maybe we can teach them to eat Honduran children and kill two birds with one stone.

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Rare Cobia Caught In Cape Cod Waters

07/21/201407/21/2014

CapeAndIslands.org – Every now and then a local angler happily pulls up a fish, only to discover that what’s on the hook was not what was expected.

This week there was plenty of excitement among fishermen at the news, and picture (above), of Captain Nat Chalkley landing a sizable cobia while chunking for stripers off the Elizabeth Islands. Cobia are found mostly in southern waters; the NOAA websitelists their range as “from Texas to Virginia.” They are reported to be good eating, and to be solitary-type fish, not often swimming in groups.

Wait, who the hell does this Cobia think he is? You can’t just swim up here from Texas or Virginia and expect us to let you swim around in Cape Cod waters. SEND IT BACK!

This Cobia is a threat to our way of life. Next thing you know they will be coming up in droves and stealing jobs from Stripers and Cod that have lived here for generations. We should be worried about our own fish, not some immigrant fish from somewhere else. This is a threat to our way of life.

SEND THEM BACK!

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