From The Army Corps Of Engineers Facebook Page – Update on Sagamore Bridge Lane Restrictions: Schedule Calls for Work Monday thru Saturday

– Our painting contractor working on the Sagamore Bridge may also perform work on Saturdays with lane restrictions. Work on Saturdays will be done as needed to make up for weather delays that may occur during each work week.

– The revised work schedule is Monday through Saturday, from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., depending on weather.

Tear it down! Build a new one. Maybe if it had more than two 4 foot wide lanes it wouldn’t be such a big deal when they shut one down every five seconds. It might also keep us from crapping our pants every time a tractor trailer blows past us six inches from our face.

The bridges over The Canal were built in 1933 for fucks sake. Like 327 people lived on Cape Cod back then and 9 of them had cars. Oh and the cars were 3 feet wide and had a top speed of 17 miles per hour. Those aren’t exaggerations either, those numbers came straight off the top of my head.

Bottom line is that it’s time to rebuild. We aren’t talking about The Golden Gate Bridge here. These aren’t historic landmarks they are highways. Maybe it’s time for us to enter the 21st century. Wouldn’t it be nice to not sit in three hours of traffic with a bunch of New York assholes every time we need to go off Cape?

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Blogs.Capecodonline.com – Jen McCaffrey – Baseball America recently released its Top 100 College Draft Prospects.

By my count, 70 of their top 100 college prospects played in the Cape League at some point over the past two summers.

Here are the 14 former Cape Leaguers among their top 25 college prospects:

No. 2 East Carolina RHP Jeff Hoffman (Hyannis, ’12-13) — 2013 CCBL Outstanding Pro Prospect

No. 5 LSU RHP Aaron Nola (Harwich, ’12) — Only made two starts on Cape.

No. 6 Florida State RHP Luke Weaver (Brewster, ’12) Click Here to see the rest of list.

Cape Cod’s dominance of amateur baseball is just laughable at this point. 70 percent is such a ridiculous number. How long do we have until every single Major League player is from The Cape League? At this point The Cape should start charging players to play here. You want a ticket to the bigs? Pay up. Can’t afford it? We’ll take 2% of future contracts. We would have that new bridge paid for in one season.

P.S. What is the baseball version of a puck slut in hockey or a lacrosstitute? Whatever it is I’d imagine we’ve got plenty of them migrating to The Cape for the summer season as we speak. They probably just graduated from a seminar hosted by Jenny Dell and are circling names on Baseball America’s prospect list as we speak. If any of you ladies are reading this, get in touch with us when you get here we’d love to get some National Geographic style footage of you hunting in your natural habitat.

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Boston.com – Someone defaced historic Plymouth Rock late Monday night, spray painting “LIES” on to the monument symbolic of the Pilgrims’ arrival in America, according to state park officials.

A state park supervisor washed the paint off this morning, said Department of Conservation and Recreation spokesman Bill Hickey. He said such vandalism is a routine occurrence.

“This kind of thing happens two to five times a year,” he said. “It’s just the nature of where it is.”

Look I can’t condone vandalism, but when you’re right, you’re right, and whoever painted “lies” on Plymouth Rock is right. First off the Pilgrims landed in Provincetown. This is well documented in this blog about how we took the Pilgrims V card. Second of all anyone who has ever been on a boat of any kind and has a brain will tell you that rocks are something to avoid. They are not something the Captain of a wooden sailing vessel would think to bring his ship alongside of (the claim is that the current rock is a piece of a larger rock they tied up to like a pier). Oh yeah, then there is the fact that not one actual Pilgrim ever mentioned the rock. It was not ever spoken of until 120 years later.

So remember everyone, the Pilgrims landed in Provincetown NOT Plymouth and certainly not on a rock. Basically any adult who still thinks the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock probably thinks Christopher Columbus brought pizza for the Native Americans and still believes Edison invented the light bulb. It’s a cute historical story but it’s just that, a story. Even Ranger Hickey knows it, dude was just like “Yeah happens all the time, NBD it’s just a rock.”

Cape Cod 279 – Plymouth 0

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Live streaming video by Ustream

Wicked Local.com – BREWSTER — Gray seal pupping season is underway on Maine’s Seal Island, and “Seal Cam” is once again capturing the colony via live streaming video. The camera was turned on in December at the start of the gray seal pupping season and has already captured the live birth of a baby seal, social behaviors between adults, and interactions with bald eagles on the island. NOAA seal researchers at the Northeast Fisheries Science Center (NEFSC) are using a remote camera to learn more about gray seal ecology.

And here we were thinking we wouldn’t be able to meet the new babies until they got back to The Cape. Turns out there is a live cam we can watch all day to keep up with all the newcomers. I’ve already named all of the ones born so far but feel free to share any name ideas you have for the next ones.

Here’s my top five baby seal names.

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Capecodonline.com – FALMOUTH — Six months after police said he pushed his girlfriend against a door jamb, a 45-year-old Mashpee man pleaded guilty Monday to an assault and battery charge.

Glenn Beaulieu, of Falmouth Road, was put on probation through January 2015 and ordered to stay away from the victim, according to court records. He was also ordered to pay $124 in restitution, but prosecutors dropped two charges including vandalism and assaulting someone 60 years of age or older.

On July 7, Mashpee police said the woman was packing her belongings when Beaulieu allegedly grabbed her right arm and threw her into a door jamb, leaving her right forearm with a cut and bruise. Beaulieu then picked up a photograph of Cape Cod and threw it onto the ground, shattering the glass, police said.

Pushing a female against a door jamb is never OK, let’s get that right out of the way first. This guy was wrong and he was punished for it. I am not here to talk about that part of the story. My problem is where is the justice for his other crime, the crime against humanity? This Benedict Arnold can just go around smashing framed photographs of the great peninsula and he gets away scott free while we are left to pick up the pieces?

This man is clearly an enemy of the state. I hope at the very least they are watching him through his web cam and have drone surveillance on him 24 hours a day. I want this guy on house arrest. Banished from society I say! At least put this terrorist on the No Fly List for Cape Air before he hijacks a plane bound for Nantucket and crashes it into the Pilgrim Monument.

If I were Mayor of Cape Cod I would take a cue from North Korea in all cases like this.  The Dear Leader would get drunk and have this guy fed to the dogs before lunch so he could play tummy sticks with Dennis Rodman all afternoon. If elected that’s exactly the type of leader I would be!

P.S. Not the tummy sticks with a dude part, the drunken execution part…  seriously, I swear.

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Boston.com – Red Sox manager John Farrell will be the featured guest at the second annual Falmouth Hot Stove event on Thursday at the Sea Crest Beach Hotel. The event is hosted by the Falmouth Commodores.

The 2013 World Series Trophy will accompany Farrell to the event.

The event starts at 6:30 p.m. with a social hour and registration featuring raffles, refreshments and hors d’oeuvres. A cash bar will also be available.

At 7:30 p.m. Farrell, Peter Gammons, and Commodores head coach Jeff Trundy will take the stage to discuss Cape Cod League Baseball and its importance in the majors.

A Q&A session with all three baseball experts will last until 9 p.m. Tickets to the Falmouth Hot Stove Event are $100 each.

Tickets can be purchased online at the Commodores’ website or or at the door. All proceeds will benefit the Commodores.

Representatives from the Red Sox Foundation’s Home Base Program will be in attendance to offer insight to the program that provides clinical care, support services, and educational services to Iraq and Afghanistan service members, veterans and their families throughout New England.

The Sea Crest Beach Hotel is offering guests rates starting at just $89 per night based on double occupancy. Rates including two tickets to the event are also available starting at $298. For more information or reservations visit the hotel website or call 1 (800) 225-3110.

 

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CapeCod.Curbed.com – Back in 2012, Provincetown’s iconic Shop Therapy and Spank the Monkey moved their headquarters from 344-346 Commercial Street over to 286 Commercial Street – where they continue as one of the Cape’s best spots forbizarre, weird and WTF shopping. The shop therapists then opened Lola Love in their original storefront spread, but in November 2013, 344-346 Commercial Street hit the market for $999,000. Alas, just two months later, the circa 1890 commercial listing has met with the pricechopper and is now hoping for$899,000.

What a bargain! Who’s it gonna be? Who’s gonna step up to the plate and buy this so we can make it The Real Cape headquarters? What better building could there be for our offices than the place where every person who grew up on Cape Cod bought not only their first weed pipe, but their first sex toys as well?

This building should be purchased and preserved by someone who will respect its legacy and I assure you The Real Cape would take stewardship of 344-6 Commercial Street very seriously. We would be sure to maintain a high level of debauchery every single day. I know one of our readers has $899,000 burning a hole in their pocket so let’s team up to preserve this landmark of drug use and kinky sex… with more drug use and kinky sex! I shall from this day forth be known as The Caligula Of The Peninsula!

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony