CCT – Barnstable eighth graders’ mathematics and science/tech engineering MCAS scores plummeted this year. Only 41% of the students scored advanced or proficient on the 2014 math test, down from 74% in 2013. 47% of eighth graders scored advanced/proficient on the science and tech engineering test, down from 77% last year.

This exact same thing happens somewhere every single year. Whenever and wherever it does the reaction is inevitably the same. The sky is falling! Fire the teachers! Change the test! What happens when they grow up and can’t calculate the tip at the 99? We’re ALL GONNNA DIE!!!

Everyone needs to just chill out. The schools are doing the same thing they did last year that worked just fine, there’s no need to freak out and change everything. There’s a simple explanation for this that nobody wants to talk about…

This year’s crop of 8th graders are dumber than last years.

It’s not the teachers fault, it’s not society’s fault, it’s the kids fault. Sorry, I know you don’t want to hear it, but it’s true.

It happens in every other facet of life and we don’t go into denial about it. This years football team isn’t as good as last years? No biggie, we just don’t have the athletes we had last year. This years chorus is a little off key? That’s fine, it’s just because we don’t have as many gifted singers as last year. This years MCAS scores are down? KILL THE ENTIRE SCHOOL STAFF, BURN THE BOOKS AND START OVER!

Nope, we just don’t have the brainpower we had last year. It’s not that big a deal, we need fry cooks at McDonald’s just as much as we need doctors. We need ditch diggers just as much as we need architects. We need internet bloggers just as much as we need real writers.

Listen parents, I know this can be a tough pill to swallow, but look at Forrest Gump’s mother. She knew her kid was a moron and she didn’t complain once. She took matters into her own hands and banged the principal. Forrest turned out to be a millionaire so don’t worry, there’s definitely hope for your kids too. Just don’t be stingy in the sack.

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BizJournals – When we visited Edaville USA last month, the place was buzzing with activity — and not just from the tourists. Along the main entranceway into the theme park, sign after sign explained why we were seeing all this construction. There will be a “Thomas Land,” dedicated to the storybook train, for example, as well as a water park, a Dickens-themed village, a pirate ride and a princess area.

The father in front of me scanned the signs as he walked toward the ticket booth, and then turned to his wife to say: “You know, they were going to shut this place down for good a couple years ago.”

Not anymore. As evidenced by all the work happening at the Carver theme park these days, Edaville is here for the long haul. This is a credit to owner Jon Delli Priscoli, who tells me he’s pumping $25 million into the property over the course of several years for more rides and attractions. (Yes, there will be ticket increases coming as well, to coincide with the opening of Thomas Land next year.) But Delli Priscoli’s not just spending his money on the park. He’s also spending most of his time there, too… more

I don’t have any jokes for this. Just wanted to point out that not long ago Edaville was for sale and there was already a plan in place for a subdivision. Now, with a little bit of effort it is becoming an even bigger asset to the community than it’s ever been.

It turns out expanding fun places that give young people a place to go is a good idea… I’m looking at you Heritage Garden haters.

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CCT – An Orleans merchant discovered on Sunday that they had taken a counterfeit $20 bill as payment Saturday night. According to a release from the Orleans Police Department the bill lacked a watermark, thread or a shadow image.

The serial number on the bogus bill was MB 46325080 B, according to Lt. Kevin Higgins. The Orleans Police Department maintains a master list of serials from counterfeit currency discovered in town. This most recent $20 bill has been added to that list.

Merchants are encouraged to look closely at bills they think may be counterfeit. On the “Know Your Money” page, the Secret Service suggests comparing a suspicious bill to a bill of the same denomination and series to identify differences.

What’s with all the fake shit these days? This morning we had a doctor selling fake weed, now we’ve got fake money circulating? There’s people with fake hair, fake boobs, fake handbags, fake sunglasses, fake jeans, fake jewelry, fake everything.

It was one thing when people were superficial with real stuff, but what the hell is the point of being superficial with fake stuff? Is that even being superficial anymore? I think we need a new term for people who are materialistic but only have fake crap, they don’t deserve to be called superficial. Let’s call them…

Fakerficial.

“That chick with her fake Louis Vuitton bag, costume jewelry, and hair extensions is all sorts of fakerficial.”

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CapeCodOnline.com – The owners of Canna Care Docs, a nationwide business that specializes in certifying patients for medical marijuana use, on Thursday fired Dr. Walter Richter for allegedly selling the drug to patients during their visits to the company’s South Dennis office.

Canna Care Docs isn’t making any statements about the situation, and Richter, 62, says he didn’t do anything wrong and was simply trying to help patients.

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More about medical marijuana on Cape Cod
Under state medical marijuana regulations, doctors can issue certificates to qualifying patients for medical marijuana but they can’t supply them with the drug.

Patients must grow their own marijuana for personal use or connect with a “caregiver” who can provide marijuana-based products, at least until state-licensed medical marijuana dispensaries open.

In an interview with the Times on Sunday, Richter said the drugs he has been supplying to patients from the South Dennis office since May are a combination of Marinol, a prescription drug that contains synthetic THC (the psychoactive ingredient in marijuana), and CBD (cannabidiol) from the industrial hemp plant, a cannabis plant with low levels of THC.

Yes! Nice work doc! Champion of the people! The state is acting like assholes and taking forever to institute a program that Massachusetts residents voted overwhelmingly for nearly two years ago? Take matters into your own hands and get the weed to the patients! You my friend get a a Capey award for acti… WAAAAIIIIT A MINUTE…

Did they just say he sold them fake weed?

Dude. What are you a Jamaican guy at Hempfest selling oregano to teenagers? These are medical patients, not band geeks ordering K2 out of the back of a High Times. What a dick. How much of a dick you ask? Well…

Turns out this is the same guy we wrote about a while back that was arrested for civil rights violations and threatening to commit murder because he yelled anti gay epithets at a bunch of gay artists and said he was going to murder all of them.

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking this guy might not be the stereotypical, hippie, weed doctor we all know and love. Might be time for a career change Dr. Richter. Maybe staff doctor for the Hitler youth or something?

Provincetown Marijuana Doctor Threatens To Murder Everyone

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