capecodonline.com – G. Brennan – In a shocking development, the town has been told $500,000 appropriated in the state budget for a synthetic turf field at Sandwich High School is on the chopping block.

“This is baffling,” Town Manager George “Bud” Dunham said.

The money was put into the budget by Senate President Therese Murray, D-Plymouth, for the Capt. Gerald F. DeConto Veterans Memorial Stadium. Murray added the earmark after voters in Sandwich rejected a Proposition 2½ capital exclusion that would have raised taxes for a year to pay for the turf.

DeConto, a Navy captain was killed in the 9/11 attacks on the Pentagon.

The problem for the town is the turf is down, but Gov. Deval Patrick has targeted the money to make up a $329 million state budget shortfall.

Massachusetts everybody! This is your government.

Looks like we’ve achieved an entirely new level of ineptitude with this one folks. And we wonder where everyone in this country gets the idea that it’s OK to spend money they don’t have. This just proves that old saying…

“One in the hand is better than two in the bush”.

Which is especially true if you are talking about those recently busted Asian Rub and Tugs.

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The theme was “Christmas Magic” so we decided to go retro. We built a replica of The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour Bus, it ended up a little more Scooby Doo than Beatles, but given the fact that we were way too hung over to start it the Friday after The Wailers show and had to build it in one day in the pouring rain I’d say we’re lucky the thing didn’t fall apart after 100 yards.

We were pulled by Pat from Dale Tree and can’t thank him enough for putting up with us, believe me when I tell you that is no simple task. We recruited our pals from the bad ass band Boombasnap, the ladies from The Brazen Belles, our official photographer benshotme and some of the rest of the crew and in true Real Cape fashion we raged our faces off and danced our way through the entire parade route. No trophies, but plenty of fun, The Upper Cape Spartans float won, and deservedly so, the thing was bad ass, congrats to them.

Hopefully Ben will get a photo gallery up soon, but here’s a few videos. This is from a spectators perspective…

Post by Boombasnap Live Shows.

Here’s one from after the parade, you’d think Boombasnap would stop playing while we drove around in traffic to get back to the Mall, but that would be very Un-Boomba and very Un-Real Cape so we kept the party going through town…

Post by Danielle Fino.

Ben should be by soon with a gallery but here’s a few amateur shots…

Just another day on The Real Cape.

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Even that little fisherman can tell this deal stinks

For the back story CLICK HERE

People seem to be missing the point about this issue so I want to make sure I am clear. I am not judging the long time manager of Joe’s Lobster Mart. He may be a great guy, and there is zero reason to believe that he will be guilty of Joe’s same sins.

That said, if you believe that Joe Vaudo is handing over his business, name, all of his equipment and infrastructure to this guy and he is only getting rent for the building in return then you are a certified moron. There is no chance that the deal between these two is only for a lease based on fair market value of the square footage of the building only.

Joe Vaudo was convicted of crimes. What he did undermined an industry that is sacred on this peninsula. His punishment was handed down and it was that his seafood business was supposed to cease to exist. That was the decided upon punishment, whether you agree with it or not. With this bullshit deal between these two he is not going to lose anything. NOTHING. Joe Vaudo circumvented the law in a blatant fashion and is going to continue to profit from the industry he fucked over when it was deemed that he should no longer have that right. Simple as that.

To re cap… I’m sure this manager guy is a nice person, he probably won’t buy stolen shellfish, but that doesn’t mean he’s not Joe’s puppet.

P.S. I am so sure of this that I challenge this new manager to do an interview with me and answer every single question 100% honestly. Then I want him to confirm his answers with P&L’s backed by tax returns that show that he is only leasing a building from Joe Vaudo and nothing else. There is zero chance that no other money will be switching hands here. ZERO

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Post by Orleans Police Department.

An insinuated pig joke and a donut joke? It’s this kind of stuff that humanizes the police and it’s awesome. If I had kids I would 100% encourage them to follow these police department pages on Facebook. Cops are people, people are cops. Some are flawed, but most are pretty cool if you are cool to them. Kudos to the people running these pages, breaking down barriers between police and communities is a win for everyone.

P.S. You have no idea how hard it was to write this without making one joke, but it’s just too easy to pick the low hanging fruit.

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Capecodonline.com – P. Cassidy – The two middle-aged Chinese women sat quietly on separate couches as local, state and federal officials wandered through the Main Street massage parlor where they lived.

Across the hall in three dark rooms were massage tables, heated towels on top of a mini-fridge, a grimy shower stall and hand sanitizer always within reach. In the background a bell tolled each time an official came or went downstairs…

And, according to police and online reviews from customers, the businesses are fronts for organized prostitution. By the end of the day two out of the three businesses were shuttered because of health and zoning violations, and fines were levied against all three for providing massages without a license.

Online reviews at a website called rubmaps.com, however, are less discreet, describing various sexual encounters in detail, many which start with a massage and a question about additional options. At one point during some of the encounters, including as recently as this week, reviewers reference a coded menu with various types of sex offered and prices that range from $40 to $100 depending on the service.

Massage therapists and businesses in Massachusetts must be licensed by the state, but the law includes an exemption for similar practices, including reflexology, Reiki or Asian Bodywork Therapy.

“If they say they are doing Asian bodywork they do not have to have a license for massage,” said Barnstable police Detective Mark Mellyn.

I’m not sure what I’m the most pissed off about here. Is it that a chain of rub and tugs is running right under our noses on Cape Cod and nobody felt the need to shoot us an email, a Facebook message, smoke signals, anything? Just to let our readers know, this is what we consider pertinent information.

Or is it that the owners of these establishments only deemed Cape Cod worthy of a couple of middle aged Asians? What is that crap? Throw a few younger geisha’s on the Fung Wah next time will ya? I know we have a reputation as a retirement community, but come on, send us something we can work with.

I’m also pretty pissed off about this website, rubmaps.com. Sure, it sucks that we didn’t know it exists, but we are even more pissed off that we didn’t think of it first. Here we are working our asses off to sell ads because nobody wants their banner next to an article about a chick smuggling drugs into jail in her vagina and meanwhile some assholes are raking in millions luring people away from their Dungeons and Dragons games to get a happy ending. Life just isn’t fair.

How about this for the Captain obvious quote of the week though?

“If they say they are doing Asian bodywork they do not have to have a license for massage”

Yeah thanks, it also means they are giving $40 handies, we don’t need a website to figure that shit out.

P.S. Hey rubmaps.com, thanks for creating a place that makes it 987% easier for cops to shut down rub and tugs. I think we’re gonna start myweeddealersaddress.com tomorrow, should make us millions and not negatively affect anyone’s lives at all.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Wait, maybe she does still have a personal vendetta against me? Is it possible she heard that all Hippies live in Woods Hole so that’s where she’s headed? Well the jokes on you Katharine, not only do I not live in Woods Hole, but I also just had my secret weapon deployed from Falmouth Harbor…

That’s right, good luck staying mad after you meet Reggae Shark!

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OCEARCH – Kate what are you still doing here in December? I wasn’t even paying attention to your whereabouts, last I saw you were headed south. The lure of Cape Cod was just too much for you huh?

Maybe Katharine is doing the classic Cape Codder move. When you are young you want to travel, get off the peninsula for a while and see the world. Then as you get older you learn to appreciate this place and how beautiful it is. You decide to spend a summer here and you tell yourself that you’ll head off in a new direction in the fall. Next thing you know it’s December and you’re at a bar playing Keno at 1:30 in the afternoon on a Tuesday.

That’s how it happens folks, looks like Katharine is officially a year rounder.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony