Wareham Has Fun Police?

photo by Bill Whelan
photo by Bill Whelan


WAREHAM – A motocross facility in East Wareham has recently come under fire from a selectman, accusing the owner of operating as a business without the proper permits. But the owner of the facility said he has everything he needs and is willing to prove it.

Selectman Stephen Holmes said he’s received noise complaints from residents about the track, and believes there is a fundamental issue with running a commercial race track on agricultural land.

“The town should be taxing that land at a different rate,” he said.

He said when charging admission and having hundreds of people attend events, there are certain entertainment licenses and special permits they likely need to acquire but don’t have.

“You can’t just get a business certificate and open up a racetrack on a cranberry bog.”

But according to Jacob Morrison, owner and operator of Wareham MX at 3042 Cranberry Highway, he has every permit he needs. He said the town building inspector came to the facility three weeks ago and after viewing the grounds told Morrison that he had everything that was required.

“We’re on private land. He [Holmes] thinks we’re going out on town land and charging money for it,” Morrison said.

Wait there are fun police in Wareham? I thought that place was like a post apocalyptic anarchistic wasteland where you could do whatever the fuck you want? Plus, I thought the fun police were like the Nazgûl from Lord of the Rings. I figured when they got to the Canal they just had to stop, like when Liv Tyler sent them whitewater rafting that time they were chasing Frodo. I guess they’ve learned to drive and just take the Bourne Bridge now?

Either way, you have to love Selectman Holmes. Classic fun police stuff from him. Oh all the other town officials say there’s no problem? That doesn’t matter to him at all, he just can not be bothered to let people do what they want to do on PRIVATE land. No sir, we need to make some permitting issues up out of the blue and put a stop to all this fun immediately!

No wonder all of our kids do drugs, can’t even ride a dirtbike in peace around here anymore.

P.S. Yeah I made a Lord of the Rings reference. I’ll kick your ass in Zelda too motherfuckers.

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