TRC & GG Advice Column: Volume 4

 

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Dick pics – yay or nay?

Peeny Paul,

No. Just no. If you send me an unsolicited picture of your genitals I will 100% show it to anyone willing to look and forward that shit to the proper authorities faster than you can send what I’m sure would be an even creepier follow-up text.

Sexting only happens on Lifetime. And even then someone usually ends up committing suicide. 

Keep it in your pants,
GG

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Dear Charles Dickens,

So you are wondering for whom the sext chime tolls? Well there are two distinct types of guys in this world. There are the guys who send dick pics and then there are the guys who don’t have to knock on everyone’s door when they move into a new neighborhood.

It’s quite simple really, just check for a few items in your house. Do you have any leopard print banana hammocks? Do you have a silk robe that only goes 1/8th of the way down your thighs? Do you have more than one type of lotion and or a bottle of Drakkar Noir cologne?

If you answered no to the previous questions then do not send a dick pic under any circumstances. If you answered yes then throw on an extra medium Ed Hardy T-Shirt, download Snapchat, and in between crotch shots make sure to take at least one nice head shot selfie so you look nice on the wall at the Post Office.

-Hippie

 
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