Is Route 6 The Most Dangerous Road In The Universe?

I am sure most of you are saying to yourselves that the headline of this post is some major hyperbole, but it’s not. Here in The Real Cape headquarters war room we have a highly sophisticated network of alerts, streams and various other forms of monitoring in place when it comes to the gathering of any and all Cape Cod news. While our system is so advanced that you probably can’t comprehend it, let me give you some data.

For instance, we use a new cutting edge technique of information gathering called a “Google search”. Since this type of technology is not available to most layman, we have a screenshot for you. The following shows the results of an internet wide, news filtered (very high tech) search of “route 6 Cape Cod”…

Look at those results, Google doesn’t lie folks.

All kidding aside, there really seems to be a major accident and shutdown on Route 6 every single day. Maybe it’s because Cape Cod has a disproportionate number of old people. Maybe people on Cape Cod are always in a rush. Maybe the road is cursed. It could also simply be a case of nothing else of note ever happening on Cape Cod, leading to reporters using traffic accidents as a crutch of sorts on slow news days.

The latter of those theories seems the most likely when you think about it. At this very moment you are reading an article about how dangerous Route 6 is that was definitely written by someone using the story as a crutch on a slow news day. It seems like propaganda can be the tail wagging the dog sometimes. I think I just melted my own brain. Reminds me of that great quote…

“Don’t believe everything you read on the internet” – Abraham Lincoln

P.S. Anyone that calls out this headline as irresponsible by saying we don’t know how dangerous roads are in other places in the Universe is an idiot. Everyone knows aliens don’t use roads, they compress and expand matter to move through time and space, duh!