So we left off with NNF and I heading into the sky with the sole purpose of plummeting towards the ground at over 150MPH in Part I: I jumped out of a plane. On purpose.
NNF and I were setup back to back, him looking out the front of the plane, I the back. It took about 10 minutes to reach proper elevation for jumping, and the view on the way up was hands down one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I kind of got lost in the view, being able to see Martha’s Vineyard, Nantucket, Province Town and even Boston. Then, without a word of warning, the door opened and I saw “I <3 Aruba” jump out of the fucking plane.
*Dude guy captured my reaction to NNF plummeting towards the ground – also please note how super safe the inside of that plane looked
Being the bat shit marine he is, NNF naturally did everything he was told NOT to do when jumping. Rather than leaning your head and body back in order to balance yourself for free fall, homeboy leaned forward in order to flip his way to the fucking ground.
*Here’s my view right before I step onto that little black sliver they tried to tell me was a “platform” – NNF backflipping his way back down to earth
*This is his view, taken at the same moment – if you zoom in I’m sure you can see me screaming in horror as he flipped his way down like an asshole
I should have freakin’ jumped first. Seeing him go, and then flip through the air, all while looking down at the ground and feeling the pressure of 15,000 feet was almost too much to handle. So naturally I just flung my body from the plane and screamed like the red-headed banshee that I am. This was hands down one of the most frightening, exciting and adrenaline pumping moments of my life. You can totes tell by my facial expressions.
Eventually, after what felt like 45 minutes, my instructor pulled our chute and we shot back up into the air. Here is when I confirmed that I will never go bungee jumping and also I’m not sure if I can have children anymore. Those harness straps are no fucking joke.
The view while soaring through the air was stunning. I was given control of the chute to sail around and look at the Vineyard, the Islands and the view around us. It was breathtaking.
Then I began to scream in horror as I saw NNF spiraling towards the ground about 200 feet ahead of me. I shouted “IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THAT?!? IS THAT NORMAL!?!?!” Of course it’s not fucking normal. He was holding down one side of the shoot in order to plummet towards the field spinning like a piece of shit you flush down the toilet. Fitting.
I soon realized he was actually doing that on purpose and calmed down enough to take in the last few minutes of falling time. Here’s where I started to panic – I need to now somehow land. As I began to descend, I saw NNF waiting for me on the ground and got even more nervous because I knew that if I didn’t stick this landing perfectly he would 1- scream at me if I dislocated my hip again and 2- he’d never let me live it down.
I fucking nailed it. Two feet, perfectly on the ground like a fucking gymnast. I was PUMPED – you might as well call me Kerri Strug – minus the leg injury. So actually, never mind, just call me GG.
I was so proud of myself. For landing, for having the guts to jump out of a plane, for not throwing up and also for not pushing NNF out of the plane like I kind of wish I had now.
Thanks to Skydive Barnstable for having us, keeping us alive and for documenting the whole thing. I highly recommend going to them if you’re ever looking for a thrill like skydiving or potentially murdering your ex-boyfriend.The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony
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