P-Town Voting To Ban Plastic Supermarket Bags Got Us Thinking About BIG Repercussions

provincetownbag

BostonGlobe.com – PLASTIC BAGS litter the median strips of America. In some trash-filled corners of Massachusetts, they cover the ground like a layer of topsoil. Flushed out into the ocean, they combine with other garbage into massive rafts of refuse, killing marine life. That’s why towns from the outer Cape to the Berkshires are seeking ways to reduce this serious environmental threat. But they’d do well to follow the example of other municipalities that have been successful in coaxing consumers to switch to reusable supermarket bags.

Tomorrow, Provincetown residents will vote at a town meeting on whether or not to ban small plastic bags in their town. Under the proposal, restaurants and retailers would be banned from distributing single-use plastic shopping bags, such as those often found in supermarkets.

I have a quick question. Did anyone think about what the hell we are all going to use in our bathroom wastebaskets if they ban the supermarket style plastic bag? Do they even sell plastic bags that size? The plastic bag/bathroom wastebasket relationship is so wonderful and symbiotic, do we really want to mess with it?

I have a feeling GLAD might be behind this legislature. I wouldn’t put it past them to hire lobbyists to get this law passed in towns across America just in time for them to launch their new Double Force Flex Super Drawstring Bathroom Wastebasket Bags. Oh look we happened to have these ready for the shelves right when supermarket bags became illegal!

This could be the biggest scam on the people of this country since that time they convinced us all that we need to start going to the store to buy water in single serving bottles instead of having it delivered right to our faces from out of our walls.

P.S. FUCK! I just realized that we can kiss the post shopping, 17 bag per arm, one trip from car to kitchen counter with all the groceries technique goodbye too! I don’t know about you but I think I’d trade a couple of choking sea turtles for not having to buy tiny bags for my bathroom AND making 12 trips to get the groceries in.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

More Articles From The Real Cape: