The New $30 Scratch Ticket Should Be A Big Help On Cape Cod

world class millions – The Massachusetts State Lottery has released its most expensive scratch ticket ever.
“World Class Millions” costs $30. The lottery announced the new ticket as plans for more casinos in the state move forward.

The ticket’s high payout is $15 million. The lottery said the odds of winning a prize are 1 in 2.81 and the payout percentage is the highest of any of its games.

We’ve all been stuck behind the guy at the register at Tedeschi that is getting 38 quick picks, 14 daily number variations and $425 worth of assorted scratch tickets. He’s there for half an hour talking to the clerk like an auctioneer while you stand there with your jaw open drinking your entire bottle of water you went in to buy and wondering if you will make it back to work on time.

Well that guy just got a brand new way to squander his retirement fund. The $30 scratch ticket is sure to have convenience store gamblers all in a tizzy for the next few months. Not unlike a heroin dealer, the government will surely issue all the good shit first. Put out all the winners and get ’em hooked. Next thing you know $30 is just what you spend on a scratch ticket, it’s just normal.

Psssstt… Hey buddy… yeah you… over here. You want to be able to retire someday? STOP SPENDING $500 A DAY ON COMPUTER GENERATED GAMBLING. It’s computerized for christ sake, the odds were stacked against you BY A COMPUTER.

P.S. Whenever they release a new super expensive ticket they always say that it has the highest percentage payout ever to entice people. No shit assholes, when you are taking more money from people on each transaction you can pay out more often and still make more total money back, but definitely don’t mention that. We wouldn’t want to let the facts get in the way of a frenzy when you are fleecing the people out of more of their money.

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Comments 1

  1. I had a sticker on my truck for many years that read: “The lottery is a tax on people who can’t do math”

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