National Seashore Releases Official Warning About Great White Sharks

shark

WickedLocal.com – Cape Cod National Seashore Superintendent George Price reminds visitors and residents that we share the National Seashore with native wildlife. While it is rare for a great white shark to bite a human, it did occur in Truro in 2012.

*Swim close to shore, where your feet can touch the bottom.
*Swim, paddle, kayak, and surf in groups.
*Do not swim alone in the ocean at dawn or dusk. Avoid isolation.
*Limit splashing and do not wear shiny jewelry.
*Keep pets leashed. Inquisitive dogs can startle resting seals, resulting in seal bites or scratches to you or your pet.
*Follow instructions of lifeguards. Become familiar with the beach flag warning system. Take time to read signage at the beaches.

Listen, I know many of you are probably saying “Enough with the sharks Hippie, we get it”, but my hands are tied here. How could I not mention this? Look at that list of tips to avoid being eaten, it is insane. It basically says you should only swim at high noon, spray painted white, in 2 inches of water, and keep your dog in your basement. We are officially at def con 9 here folks.

Let me summarize that list of warnings for you. It can easily be broken down into one simple step to avoid being eaten…

MOVE TO OKLAHOMA!

P.S. Anyone know a good pool guy?

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