Mass DOT Unveils Plan To Replace The Trees They Murdered On Route 6

cape trees – The state Department of Transportation has submitted the first draft of a plan to replant trees and other vegetation that were mistakenly cleared from the median of a stretch of Route 6 in Sandwich last fall.

Landscape drawings indicate that approximately 350 deciduous, flowering or evergreen trees will be planted in the 1.2-mile overcut area that stretches between exits 2 and 4 along the highway.

Department spokesman Michael Verseckes said via email that the replanting project was expected to be completed by Memorial Day weekend.

I don’t know about this, 350 seems like a small number. For those of you that don’t travel Route 6 and haven’t seen the level of destruction, take a look at this video…

See what I’m saying now, I didn’t count but 350 seems a little low to me. That is some straight up Brazilian rainforest level clear cutting. People that live along the highway’s corridor have been having trouble breathing due to the lack of oxygen in the air. It’s that bad. They better not be planning on replacing our nice thick afro with wiry little hairplugs, and they damn well better get it done before Memorial Day.

We can’t have all the tourists arriving and seeing the Cape like this. It’s embarrassing. The entire state will be whispering about how Cape Cod went batty and cut all its trees down. Remember when Britney Spears chopped all of her hair off? Everyone said she should be institutionalized. Next thing you know the Cape will be wandering around barefoot in the ladies bathroom at a rest stop and driving around with infants in its lap.

The last thing we need is to show up to what we think is a birthday party and see the North Shore, Western Mass and the South Shore sitting in a circle of folding chairs with handwritten letters in their hands and  a psychiatrist. Mass DOT better hurry up, Cape Cod doesn’t need an intervention because of your screw up.

P.S. If Mass DOT says it will we done by Memorial Day then we have no reason whatsoever to not believe that they will finish it by Memorial Day… 2016 that is.

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