I went to a Kentucky Derby party this weekend at my friends house and it was really fun. Everyone dressed up and looked so great, I was pumped I got to wear this fabulous giant hat; I felt so trendy. Everyone was having a really great time until this adorable little girl got kicked in the face by a horse. Like, a real one. So scary, but thank goodness she was okay.
Also, I may or may not have accidentally gotten a mini goat drunk because I fed it the fruit that was in my sangria cup, forgetting it had soaked up all the alcohol from my drink. The hairy little freak followed me around the entire party demanding more vodka fruit, and who was I to deny it? Next thing I know the goat is on the table doing some sort of walking/dancing motion that can only be compared to Miley Cyrus at the VMA’s, minus the foam finger.
Sadly, that goat wasn’t the worst date I’ve brought to a party..
So what did we learn from this? Don’t bring farm animals to parties. People get kicked in the head, goats get drunk and next thing you know there’s an ambulance in the front yard and Glitter Ginger is getting yelled at by the farm hand for teaching a mini goat how to dance on tables.
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