Judge Ends Dude’s Quest To Salvage $3 Billion In Platinum From Wreck Off Cape Cod

ABC – A treasure hunter’s effort to salvage what he calls $3 billion in platinum from a World War II shipwreck off Cape Cod has been ended by a federal judge.

Greg Brooks’ company Sea Hunters LP is no longer allowed to salvage additional items from the S.S. Port Nicholson, which was sunk by a Nazi U-boat in 1942, U.S. District Judge George Singal ruled on Wednesday.

Brooks said he believed the Port Nicholson carried platinum bars from the Soviet Union that were payment to the U.S. for war supplies. His treasure hunt had led to a criminal investigation and legal action by investors who paid him millions of dollars.

Tha-tha-tha three, ba-ba-ba billion, da-da-da dollars? If anyone needs me I’ll be in the shed digging out a mask and snorkel. Even if there is only 1% of the platinum he thinks there is, that’s ten, million, dollars. Three billion is an unfathomable number. (The elusive triple pun! That’s three simultaneous contextual meanings for those of you keeping score at home)

If I read the article correctly, this guy knows exactly where this ship is. The judge said he can’t salvage additional items from it. That means he has salvaged some items already right? Ummm… hey Brooksy can we have a private chat in the next paragraph please?

Dude! Why didn’t you grab the $3 billion in platinum when you were there the first time? What’s that saying about it being easier to ask forgiveness than permission? I realize a bronze propeller can fetch a pretty penny but that’s copper pipes for crack type shit compared to the platinum. You left Oprah’s net worth lying on the ocean floor.

I’ll tell you what Jacques Cousteau, email us the longitude and latitude of the S.S. Port Nicholson and we’ll give you 10% of the platinum we recover, we’ll be Oprah and you can be Gayle.