Hyannis Golf Club To Have Beer Carts This Season… But There’s An Evil Twist

beer cart

BarnstablePatriot.comHyannis Golf Club will be the first town golf course to have hospitality carts that sell alcoholic beverages on the course after the licensing authority’s approval March 3.

Two new regulations apply to the carts, Richard Scali, interim director of regulatory services, said. Those are that golfers can no longer bring alcohol in their golf bags or carts and that the carts cannot be in the club’s parking lot or on the road.

Oh my god the highs and the lows I can’t take it! One second I’m on top of the world planting the anti fun police flag atop the Hyannis Golf Club roof and then the next minute I’m contemplating calling for a boycott of the place.

I don’t know how to even process this article. On the one hand if you are running late, or if your tee time is before liquor stores open and you forgot to buy beer the night before you can now buy it on the course. Fantastic!

On the other hand if you are like us here at The Real Cape and you drink a beer a hole, golf just became even more insanely expensive than it already is. Shit!

Then there is the issue of the beer cart girl. No doubt she is always a welcome presence on the golf course. Nothing is more entertaining than hearing your one friend talk about how he is positive that she is totally into him. It’s always the same friend that thinks a Zachary’s girl really likes him too. Yeah bro, they aren’t pretending to like you because it’s their job or anything, you are just that charming.

On the flip side, while it’s nice to have a gal to visit with once in a while, she will always have a knack for disappearing when you need her the most. The only thing worse than running out of beer on a golf course is running out of beer on a boat. Cape Cod problem? Maybe, but a problem none the less. A problem that becomes very real when you don’t have your own stash of beer on a golf course.

I was all set to really stress about how to side on this issue, but then I thankfully remembered that I don’t give a fuck either way. I’ll just end up drinking all the beer I sneak in my bag, plus a few extra that I buy just so I can say inappropriate stuff to the beer cart girl. So for people like me it just means more beer overall.

Phew, really dodged a bullet there. If those few seconds in the middle were any indication, giving a fuck must be an awful way to go through life. I’m exhausted from doing it for like 6 seconds.

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