Frank Anthony’s Tips For Dating On A Budget On Cape Cod

cheap date cape cod

Whether you are a vacationing couple, a guy who picked up a summer girl, or just someone who’s trying to take a girl out as a slump buster, you will quickly realize that dating on Cape Cod in the summer can get really expensive.

As a life long Cape Codder and a baller on a budget, I have devised five highly successful Cape Cod dates that won’t break the bank. Along with some charm and charisma, not only will these dates save you from having to get a Brazzers account, they will also leave you enough money to take your friends out the next day to brag of your conquest.

1-Wellfleet drive-in

There is nothing more nostalgic than getting a HJ in your car at a drive-in. Cape Cod is one of the few places which still have this luxury. Plus, instead of having to stuff your pants with store bought candy to avoid the astronomical movie theater prices, you can pack a cooler and prepare to get busy like it’s 1955.


2- Hyannisport jetty

In between the Kennedy compound and the Hyannisport yacht club stretches a 3/4 mile public jetty. The rocks are slippery and it can be difficult at times so I would not recommend this if you or your date are either on the rotund side or paraplegic. All you need for this is a six pack of beer, a towel, and a backpack. Once you get to the end, lay the towel over the seagull shit (because you are a gentleman). I do not recommend anything more then a sixer to split though; even the most agile of humans would have trouble stumble-bumping over the rocks on the way back if they are too drunk. Also, make sure that you both have proper foot attire because nothing kills the mood like your date cutting her foot open on a stray barnacle.



A floating date is ideal, not only for its inexpensive nature, but it also gives you a chance to see your date in a bathing suit. For 40 bucks you can go to a local Wings store and get a two person float with a built-in cooler in the middle. What is better than bikinis, beaches, and beverages?


4-Cape league baseball game

With teams in almost every town, there’s a game almost every night of the summer. All games are free, so after you buy a couple hot dogs and some drinks you are off the hook financially. Nothing is going to put a girl in the mood more than a bunch of 20-something year old college students in baseball pants, swinging the wood. The downfall to this is that you can almost ensure that she won’t be thinking about you later on in the bedroom. But who cares, because if you actually believe your partner thinks about you on a regular basis whilst bumping uglies, then you are either extremely naive, vain or you need to get a better grasp on reality.


5-Sandwich Boardwalk

Potentially the most romantic of these dates, the Sandwich boardwalk is the perfect setting for a sunset picnic. After you walk the board walk, set up a picnic with some light snacks and a cheap bottle of wine and I guarantee that the ocean will not be the only thing moist at the Sandwich boardwalk.


Note: None of the prices include the cost of condoms.

editor’s note: Frank is 30, let that sink in for a second.

Facebook: The Real Cape
Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

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