With Medical Marijuana Dispensaries gaining permit support from town governments in Martha’s Vineyard, Mashpee and Dennis recently, there is a major business opportunity opening up in these here parts folks.
Since we are all about helping the community here at The Real Cape, we went ahead and wrote a business plan for you:
To take advantage of the massive increase in people who are craving snack foods on Cape Cod. Due to the nature of the source of these munchy cravings, this new clientele will be less apt to be able to make complicated decisions. To remedy this problem our proposed Munchy Mart will carry only items that adhere to the cravings of those stoned out of their gourds.
Keys To Success:
1. Strategic locations in the areas of pot dispensaries
2. Brightly colored psychedelic signage with bubble lettering and kaleidoscope swirls
3. Lush landscaping with lots of pretty flowers
4. Interior decorated with hanging 3-D “magic eye” art
5. Grateful Dead live concerts playing on a continuous loop on a state of the art sound system
1. Tons and tons of candy
2. One type of bottled water, remember decision making is not a strong suit of our target market
3. Scented oils, incense and hemp jewelry
4. Where a normal convenience store has Wiffle ball bats and squirt guns? Didgeridoos and Devil Sticks!
5. Any type of food that can be microwaved and zero types of foods that require actual cooking
6. Only organic juices
7. Snack foods only, chips, cookies, crackers, popcorn etc. DO NOT confuse the issue with things like bread and milk
8. 8,327 flavors of blunt wraps and 6,248 types of rolling papers
There you have it, we guarantee that if someone follows this business plan to a T they will gross 8 billion dollars a year.
P.S. No shirt, no shoes? Plenty of service!
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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony
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