Dennis Golf Committee Bans BYOB – Must Be Douche Day Or Something

beer – DENNIS – While the golf department has the right to sell alcohol on the Dennis Highlands and Pines golf courses, that right does not extend to golfers, some of whom have taken to sneaking in their own potent potable in coolers and golf bags.

In response, the golf advisory committee has submitted to selectmen a policy designed to control the unauthorized practice, protecting the town’s relationship with the golf-course restaurant vendors and its own liability.

“The committee sees a need to control people bringing alcohol onto our golf curses,” said Town Administrator Rick White. Responsibility for enforcing the regulation would fall to the course starters and rangers, who would immediately call police if and when they met resistance when asking the golfer to remove the alcohol from town property.

The only objection to the proposal came from Selectman Wayne Bergeron, who said authorizing starters and rangers to go through people’s personal possessions could be perceived as intrusive. “I’m not sure I want to put them in this position,” he said.

White said properly implemented, the policy would be similar to the ban on alcohol on the town’s beaches, which is regularly enforced.

First off, Wayne Bergeron is officially The Real Cape’s favorite Dennis Selectman. As for the rest of these dudes? They need to get their man cards taken away stat. Smuggling beer onto golf courses is an age old man code tradition. It’s strictly a don’t ask don’t tell past time that has been in place for many years and it works just fine the way it is.

Hey assholes while you’re at it why don’t you pass a law that says we have to tell the girls when we get our rounds done an hour early and go to the strip club too? Fucking traitors.

Nothing worse than the pricks on the “golf advisory committee” of a municipal course who think they are on the board at Pebble Beach. Pull the 9-iron out of your ass and leave the guy who just worked on a roof for 8 hours alone if he wants to stuff a couple of Bud Lights into his club covers, dicks.

P.S. Grown men whose lives revolve around telling other grown men how to live their lives should all be sequestered on a man made island off of The Cape. It will be a  busy body utopia where they can all tell each other what to do and leave us the fuck alone.

P.P.S. Yes, I am extra pissy today.

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