Cape Cod Hospital Doctor Suspended For Performing A Colonoscopy While Drunk

Drunk Surgeon

Barnstable Patrtiot – A former Cape Cod Hospital doctor had her license to practice suspended indefinitely on Nov. 19 after she admitted to performing a colonoscopy on a patient while she was drunk.

The Massachusetts Board of Registration in Medicine said Friday that it took action against Dr. Kathleen E. Koehler after she admitted to the ethical breach in the medical procedure. The complaint against her says she performed the drunken colonoscopy on March 4, 2013.

Koehler is a graduate of the Albert Einstein School of Medicine Yeshiva University and has been a licensed physician in Massachusetts since 1985. She is board certified in internal medicine and gastroenterology. Her most recent employer was Cape Cod Hospital, according to the board.

Wait, is there a better time to do a colonoscopy than after a few drinks? Listen, there’s a ton of medical procedures I want my doctor sober for, but a colonoscopy just isn’t one of them. Have some drinks doc, smoke a little weed, light some incense and dim the lights. If you’re gonna stick something up my butt I’d much rather you make yourself comfortable and set the mood first. Who wants an uptight sober person putting something in their anal cavity in some bright, stale room? I’ll take my colonoscopy from a buzzed up doctor in a dark room with tapestries and lava lamps every time thank you.

Yup, I’m siding with the doc on this one. If we start firing people every time they get a little tipsy and try to perform a colonoscopy, we’ll have a bunch of unemployed husbands when they get home tonight after the Pats game.

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Twitter: Hippie - Insane Tony

Comments 11

  1. Some of them get say, a little aggressive after a few cocktails, Hip. Do you really want some crazy bitch, all jacked up on vodka that has anger issues because her Mr. Everything has pissed her off? I can see that glazed look in her eyes as she jabs that scope in there, saying the you fuchah. Take it like a man.

  2. May I ask. What time of day was this. Drinking during business hours. Really. Good job in showing and making people comfortable as to schedule their colono

    scopy procedure. I Ill risk my license as well as the patients health, Really.

  3. I'm with hippie on this one. If I'm going in for a colonoscopy, I would like to pick out the tunes, dim the lights, and maybe join Doc for a few tokes first. I'm not homophobic at all, just a little "back-door shy", you could say. I once had a woman try to slide a finger in there during a passionate moment, and I almost screamed like a rabbit being mauled by a Fisher Cat! I ran out of that Dunken Donuts immediately, leaving my coffee behind, but NOT my dignity. THAT, I had lost years earlier.

  4. Not the first case of a CCH employee drinking on the job.. I found a bottle of vodka in my old supervisors desk when cleaning. Needless to say he doesn't work there anymore..

  5. She did colonoscopys on two woman I know and they were awake the whole time!!! She didn't give them anything to keep the pain at bay! One of the women had an endoscopy and was gagging trying to breathe and this doctor patted her arm and said: It's almost over!! OMG!!!! How can she treat people like that??? Did she keep the drugs the people were supposed to get and use them herself??? Cape Cod Hospital needs to investigate this before letting her practice medicine EVER AGAIN!!!

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